Hey guys welcome back to the channel I'm Suzanne with Arvabelle and this video
is a collab with Kevin and Elisa over from their channel Adventures and Us. So
a few of you have sent me messages recently asking about managing money in
relationships and they are going to be answering at your questions. Be sure to
head over to their channel to subscribe they upload stock market related videos
every few days you can take a look inside of Kevin's investing portfolio
and you can follow their journeys to financial independence.
Hey thanks for the introduction I'm Kevin and we talk about stock investing and the F.I.R.E.
movement and we talked together about how we can invest our money to retire
early. In this video specifically we're gonna be talking about how we manage our
finances as a couple. There's so many tips and tricks that the internet gives
us to how to manage your finances we're gonna tell you what has worked for us as
a couple. So the first one is gonna be talking about your finances now this one
seems simple and it's very obvious but it's very difficult to do and at first
it's gonna be a super uncomfortable talk that couples would rather talk about
their weight than their actual finances or their savings but overall somebody
does have to bring it up. And that's exactly what Kevin did
He just kind of brought it up one day and asked if I was comfortable talking about
my finances and I didn't really see why not. I was a recent grad working two
minimum-wage jobs to pay my loans and my bills and to use the rest of the money
to fund my travel and whatever other fun stuff that I like to do and the important
part here is not to judge I knew that we were both students that graduated we
have debt we gotta accept our past and just basically plan for the future and
what we have the key here is not to judge your expenses or their expenses.
You're working as a team. For example when I first met Kevin I loved going up
and down the west coast from Vancouver BC to LA to chase concerts shout out to
any k-pop fans out there and this wasn't cheap
I was probably spending like a couple hundred dollars every other month to
make this experience possible. On the other hand Kevin usually likes to do
stuff that's more local in your backyard stuff that's more free and more
affordable than flying down to California. But the important thing is
neither of us judged each other's lifestyles. The reason why we don't judge
each other is because you gotta be aware even though you're in the same
relationship you're still two different people living two lives. So now that we
have the expenses from both people in the relationship that leads us to our
second point come up with individual goals and relationship goals and make a
financial plan.
Like I said earlier I was working two minimum wage jobs to pay my car loans my
student loans and regular bills while also spending several hundred dollars
every other month to go to concerts. But I also had this dream of course starting a
family buying a home and continuing to live in the city that I grew up in. With
so many dreams and aspirations I stopped and I asked her do you have any
financial plans? or what was your outlook five ten years from now? and again
there's no judgment here. You're both at this point trying to get on the same
exact page. That's why it's important for you to have your own financial plan as
an individual and when you eventually end up in a relationship having a plan
for your similar goals as a couple. So knowing that information I knew that she
wanted kids one at a home and she was going to grad school so nothing was a
surprise to me when she brought it up. So after Kevin gave me all this insight I
knew what I had to do. I had to make some sort of financial change. And that brings
us to our next point find ways to manage your finances in a way that you enjoy.
For me that was making a budget list. At first I didn't really feel in control of
my finances and managing my debt because the first budget she and I was using was
kind of rudimentary. Because I didn't like the layout it made continuing to
budget and making that a habit really difficult do I let Kevin know what kind
of budget sheet I was looking for and he used his skills as a computer science
major to code one for both of us that worked. Not only we'll be able to see how
were you are doing with our finances individually, we were also able to
compare our finances. This allowed both of us to be more transparent and
communicative like right in 0.1 about our finances and overall it helped us to
be more mindful about where our money was going. I on the other hand love
shoveling everything on a credit card so I would allow myself a certain amount
every month to spend but it would be spent on my credit card so I know the
total monetary amount for that month and after every month I would always pay it
off. But we keep our accounts separate so I can tell
I'm spending which brings us to our next point basically we don't have combined
accounts. Not like we're hiding anything from each other, it's just we don't
really see the need to. We're both more than comfortable showing each other our
bank accounts, but having one that's together kind of leads to some ambiguity.
For example Kevin and I make different amounts of money per month if we were to
combine or accounts we wouldn't know how much money we're spending in
relationship to the actual amount of money we make we would just see a bigger
number than we normally see when our accounts are separate and
psychologically we probably would end up spending more money. In the past we have
considered opening a joint account for us to deposit funds into so that we
would have a travel money, but like I said that wasn't an immediate need for
both of us like I said right now both of us are just more concerned about
continuing to manage our finances and save money for the future but traveling
is still something in the books. So on to our next point being transparent about
your finances. Since Kevin and I started communicating more about our finances we
found ourselves talking about our spending either every day or at least
once a week. Sometimes after work Kevin will tell me that he ate out for lunch
or sometimes every other day I'll tell him I bubble tea once we start
identifying what we've spent our money on then we both raise the question of
why did I spend money on it? The practice of being reflective when it comes to
spending your money helps you see where you can make improvements. Having another
person's perspective can really be helpful in managing your finances
because while you're over here being emotional about I really want this I
really have to have this your partner can put you into check and ask is that
something you really need? or can you live without it?
So overall being transparent as a couple when talking about our finances has
helped us see what improvements and gains we've made, and also where maybe we
could cut back. And this transparency is key because it kind of helps you re-evaluate
your plans. We're all humans so everyone so I will go out and eat for
lunch.
Can I get one McChicken just the sandwich? This is an expensive.
Inflation yo. Or we might get bubble tea. But this transparency helps us fix our
monthly plan that's always kind of moving or changing. But there are some
things in our budget that we don't really want to stop doing. We agreed that
date nights are important and we still want to keep having them. Which brings us
to our next point, you gotta treat yourself. In the words of Kevin we still
want to continue dating even while we're trying to save money. Just because you're
trying to be frugal and manage your finances doesn't mean you have to skimp
out on dates. Occasionally Kevin and I will have a date night out on the town
when we have little achievements at work or when we want to celebrate an
anniversary. For these little date nights we like to find bargains or deals.
For example we'll look on Groupon to see if they have something for the place
that we're interested in going to or we'll simply compare and contrast
restaurants or hotels for wherever we're traveling. I personally love going
through Facebook and looking at all the events every month to see what's local
and sometimes free that way we're saving money
discovering little things in our area and saving money on gas. Overall having
access to so many events in our areas gives us opportunities and experiences
we probably wouldn't have ever had. Besides these little events and date
nights we just love doing free things. I mean who doesn't like free things? If
you're wondering what free things people can do nowadays we like going to parks
walking around different neighborhoods or other cities just to see what's there
during these walks and during our downtime is usually where we talk about
our days been and where we catch up about our finances. As you can see all
these two go hand-in-hand. Well what do I mean? Well let's recap it.
First you have to be comfortable just talking about your finances. Once you
both can start opening up about how much you have and how much you spend and what
your spending habits are, then you can start identifying goals you have as an
individual and as a couple. Once you get the ball rolling then you can identify
ways that you like to manage your finance or some people it's making a
budget list for some people it's couponing.
Just like Kevin maybe you like putting it all on a card to see the total at the
end of the month. Just do what works for you as an individual and both of you as
a couple. The important thing is that both of you are transparent about your
finances and that you're communicating about where that money is going. As you
continue to be more transparent you'll see how budgeting can help you be more
conscious in how you consume things. Just remember we not only budget and manage
our finances to save money we also do it to have money for each other. It's easy
to lose track of that and get so caught up in all the numbers but it's important
to remember you're human too. So don't lose yourself in the number the point of
budgeting in the first place was to have a transparent and communicative and
trustful relationship after all financial hardship and lack of
transparency is one of the top things that affects and can destroy a
relationship. In the end money is just a tool that allows us to meet our basic
needs. But if you're interested in our journey and how we invest in the markets
to find financial freedom head on over to Adventures and Us. But thanks for
having us on the channel and as always peace out see you in the next video bye
If you enjoyed this video be sure to subscribe
it hit the like button if you want to see more collabs and remember to head
over to Adventures on Us to subscribe and to watch the video that I made over
there. Thanks for watching and I will see you next time.