No entiendo nada. Hey. James, from EngVid, speaking Spanish. Si? I'm looking at a French
book, but you guys understand. It's good for a teacher to learn different languages because
as they get better, they understand how to teach you, right? Right, guys? Come to think
of it, there's a word I was thinking about. I've been asked by many a student, "When we
say, 'guys', can we use it for everybody or is it just for men or" -- because they get
confused because in North America, we use the word "guys". And when we do, we use it
for groups of people that could be male and female. Now, in our language, you don't have,
really, gender. There's no "el" as in -- excuse me for a second. You know, in Spanish, you've
got the "el", or the "le" in French and the "la" -- we don't have any of that. No. Not
at all. So most people assume there's no gender, but I have a secret. In English, we do have
gender. Come on. We're going to go to the board. We're going to work it out, all right?
So what do I mean by "gender words"? Well, there will be no cue like this. And this is
what makes it confused, and that's why this is "confused words in English". Because they're
confused gender words -- words that can be used by only one sex, and only one sex uses
them in this way. And if you say it a different way, you will confuse us. Okay? So why don't
we start off with, well, No. 1. See? Confused. Two is over here; one is over here. The lesson
has begun. Mr. E secretly is watching me teach this lesson. This is the female symbol and
the male symbol because these are gender words. "Gender" means "sex", and we mean "boy", "girl",
"men", "women". Your "gender" is your "sex". When you fill out forms in English, it will
say "male", "female" -- that's gender. Okay? Are you male, man, female, woman? So now we're
there, why don't we go and take a look. "Guys", I started with "guys". You'll notice
that "guys" has -- well, we got two guys and a girl. We can also have mini guys, Mini Mes.
Okay? A group of men can be called "guys". A group with even one woman can still be called
"guys". And a group with all women could be called "guys". But you cannot call a group
of men "girls". If you go, "Hey girls! Hey girls!" They're all gay. I'm sorry if anyone
says, you know, "Whoa!" But it's -- "girls" would be gay, you know. Or we use it as an
insult to guys, "Look at the girls over there." Because we're saying, "They're not He-Men
like us. So they're a bunch of girls!" Right? "Quit crying, you girls!" So when we use "girls"
as a reference to guys, it's an insult either in, "You're not a man" or we're saying they
may be of a different sexual orientation. You like those big words? I do, too. Okay.
So that's one thing to think about. So you're going to think, "Okay, so I can
use 'guys' all the time." Well, you're right. But there is one difference. You don't use
"guys" with older, mature women because it's almost insulting because they're going to
say, "We're ladies. We're women, not guys. We're not little girls." Right? Even older
businessmen like being referred to as "guys" because it's that sports, macho, manly thing.
Right? "Look at the guys." "Let's go, guys." But if it's an older woman or a group of older
women, please say, "ladies". All right? Or "women" -- do not call them "guys" unless
they have moustaches, and they're really old. Anyway. That's different.
So "guys" you understand that one. That's one of the confusing words. So simply, to
make it simple so you understand exactly what I want, "guys" can be used for any group with
a female in or a completely -- a complete group of females, okay, and males. For males,
it can be used for young males to older males, no problem. Our exception is with older females;
you must actually call them "ladies" or "women". Men use the word "girls", okay, for a group
of girls, which makes them feel young. You can use that with older women. It's a good
one. Okay? Careful if they're wearing business suits. But they also use the word "girls"
for insulting other men especially in sports, like, "Look at the girls on that team." Means
you're not good. All right? Let's move on to the next one.
So we're done No. 1. What's No. 2? We talked about "guys" and "girls". Well, why don't
we talk about "girlfriends"? "The other day, I was talking to my girlfriend about going
to Starbucks and getting a coffee." Nothing to be confused about? "Well, it's not my girlfriend.
We're not sexually intimate or anything." "Intimate" means "close", all right, when
you're "intimate". In this case, sexual -- sexually intimate. It doesn't mean that. What I meant
to say was my "female friend". And you go, "What's the difference?" Well, girls can say
"my girlfriend", and it means "my female friend". It means there's no sexual or loving relationship.
They're just really good friends. "So my girlfriends and I, we're going to dinner tonight, and
then we're going to go shopping, and we're going to watch a movie, and we're going to
have popcorn. It's going to be so much fun!" "My girlfriends and I" -- a girl can say.
Now, when a guy says "girlfriend", we only think sexual relationships or a relationship.
"My girlfriend, the one I kiss and hold hands with." If you're a guy, and you want to say
"a girl who's a friend", you have to say "female friend". Now, a lot of times today we say,
"my friend". But when somebody wants to know specifically -- because you say, "Hey, my
friend told me to wear this sweater because it goes good with me, you know. It looks good
on me, you know? It looks real good." Then, they'll go, "Uh, which guy friend told you
that?" See? They say, "guy friend". Back to the word "guy". And I go, "No, it's a female
friend of mine. She went shopping with me." And they go, "Oh, I understand now." Got it?
If you have the same conversation -- you say, "My boyfriend told me this", automatically,
you are a homosexual. Please be careful. Boys cannot say "my boyfriends". Females, actually
-- funny enough -- don't say "my boyfriends". They say -- if they're talking about a male,
they go "my male friend James". And I will say "my female friend Joanne." That's how
we describe members of the opposite sex who are our friends. Okay? So "girlfriend" and
"boyfriend" are only used for relationships. Cool?
Lesson No. 2. We're talking about relationships. Lesson No. 3. The 21st century -- this is
really, really interesting. In Europe -- I was just told the other day that a "partner"
is like an "association", and in a professional sense, people who work together. So people
will directly translate "associate" or a "partner" to "partner". In North America, we had that
same thing -- "my partner". But we use it for, like, law practice, accounting, and medical.
Once you step outside of business and you say "partner", there are only, really, two
meanings. I need you to be careful because the 21st century is very strange because this
word has changed, and it's continually changing, evolving. "Evolving" means changing and going
up. So by the end of, you know, in ten years, it might have a totally different meaning.
But let's go and talk. "Partner" here, means an association. If it's said by a male, one
has to be very careful because the male could be saying, "I am a homosexual because my partner
is a man." You have to listen very carefully for context. And I'm warning you: Don't speak;
listen. Because also, in the 21st century, "partner" is a word that people who are above
the age of 30 use for their long-term lover or partner. So a girlfriend you've been with
for 10 or 15 years may be -- and you've been living together -- they may be your "partner".
That means nothing to do with homosexual lifestyle. So many times, a man or a woman may walk up
to you and go, "My partner's coming to the party tonight." Now, you should say something
like, "So your partner, how long have you been with them?" "Twenty years." Ah, we're
getting warmer. But don't put any kind of gender -- remember I told you what "gender"
means, right? -- or attach gender until they keep speaking. They might say after that,
"Yeah, she is coming at 7." Boom. Long-term girlfriend. "He is coming" -- got it. Okay?
And welcome to western civilization: We don't put too much on gender issues. Same-sex marriage
-- that is okay, all right? So when someone says "partner", just wait for context. They
will give you the information you need. All right?
So we've done "partner". We've gone from "guys", "girlfriend", "partner". What could possibly
be next? Well, we're talking about association and relationship, so why don't we give you
a word that seems very -- shouldn't be confusing, right? Because we've got -- "partner" is confusing.
Shouldn't be confusing. Should be very, very easy. But in North America, it's not. We have
a television program called "Friends" in North America. It's about six people who hang out
and party and do everything together and get married and divorce each other. Now, that's
confusing. But they do this. Joey and Chandler and whatnot -- Phoebe. Love Phoebe. But in
North America, everybody's your friend. They'll even say, "Hey, friend! How are you?" And
they don't even know who you are. "Friend" in our language, really, means "acquaintance".
Okay? Don't get it confused. If you've never been to their house, never been to their house,
never been invited over for dinner, haven't been gone to, you know, one of the baseball
games or anything like that, you're an "acquaintance". "Acquaintance" means -- from the word "acquaint"
-- they know you. And that's all. So when you go to the bar, and they go, "Hey Friend!
What are you drinking?" It means, "I know you come to this bar. What do you want to
drink?" You're not friends. Don't say, "Free drink from you!" You're not his friend or
her friend, okay? That's why it's a confusing word because, other cultures, when you say,
like, if you're Arabic, "habibi", "my love", right? We don't think like that. You're not
my friend. You're not my "habibi", okay? So let's move on.
So we got that one. Kind of confusing -- not. But it is for you guys. And the final one.
This is a personal favorite of mine. "Yo, my brothers, my man, my bros". Many of you
leave comments calling me, "Yo, Bro! Is good?" This is the best part. "I'm from Russia. I
would like to say, Bro, that we are good friends, right? Bro? You my man! Right, brother?" I'm
like, "I've never met you, okay?" Yes, I know there's a skin thing. And the problem isn't
yours -- and I apologize -- it's ours. In North America, we have many movies where the
black guys always go, "Yo, man! Yo, man! Yo, brother, what's up? What's up? What's up?"
And then everybody in the world thinks that every black man does that. If you can find
ten videos where I say, "Yo bros, we gonna be studying today. You know what I'm saying',
my brothers?" Find ten EngVid videos. Please watch them, and see me say those words over
and over again, and you can call me "bro" whenever you see me. If not, I am not a "bro",
"brother" or "man". I will do that on sports teams; it's true. I'll go, "Yo, that's a good
shot, man!" Sports. And everybody does it. So here's a little lesson -- and my favorite,
most important. Right, Mr. E? See, he's my bro. We've been hanging for 127 videos. Probably
200 by the time you see this. So he can call me "bro" because we're like brothers. Now,
I will give you the real deal, okay? The "real deal" means the truth or honestly. "Brother".
People will call each other "brothers" who have a close relationship. If you go to war,
you play on sports teams, or you've had a long -- like my brother-in-law Noyen. He's
like my brother. From different family, but like my brother. He's been around so long.
He can call me "brother", and we call each other "brother". Noyen is white and Turkish,
okay? Totally different. But we're like brothers, so it's okay with me. Now, if you have one
of those relationships, you can call somebody of color "brother". Okay?
Second reason. This is DNA. If you are literally from the same mother -- "literally" means
"exactly" -- you come out of the same mother, you can call them "brother" because they are
your brother. That's biological, okay? If you are non-African -- hey, hell, if you're
from Africa. Okay, I'm from Canada. You go, "Brother, how are you?" I go, "We're not brothers."
I don't know you, okay? This is usually used for North American, and they call themselves
African Americans. They will call each other "brother" or "bro", and they're usually from
ghetto neighborhoods, or -- not even ghetto, but lower class neighborhoods is where it
started from. Okay? So be careful when you use it. The best rule is if you have blood
relations, call somebody your "brother". If you have a long relationship, and you're close,
call someone "brother". If you've just met them on the street, you ain't nobody's brother.
Don't even think about it. I know -- no, don't. Stop. Stop. No. Okay? We like you. Say, "Hi,
guy!" Not, "Hi, man." Try that. And you'll be surprised at the reaction you get. Anyway.
"Confused words" because, as you know, people think "brother" means "friend", but it can
be insulting to people, so be careful with that one. "Guys" -- anything with a girl or
guy is "guys", right? Remember, unless it's older women. "Partner" -- be very careful
with that. Is it partner as in a long-term relationship; is it is business associate;
or is it a gay relationship? Context tells you what. "Friend" -- nobody is your friend.
Don't be confused. Unless we've known each other a long time, you're just an acquaintance.
And "girlfriend" -- as Oprah would say, and before I get out, "Yo, Mr. E.! Girlfriend!
I got to get going now, you know what I'm saying, my brother? I got to see my partner,
partner in crime, you know?" Anyway. Hope you had fun. I enjoyed this lesson. I hope
you did. And it will help you when you're trying to make friends by not using these
confused words and confusing the relationship. Anyway, got to go. Have a good one. See you
in a bit. Don't forget. Where are you going to go? www.engvid.com, where you can go and
do the quizzes that follow this lesson, okay? And don't forget to click "like" on the box, all right? See you.