Anyways um
Really? Phone call? sorry One second,
I'm so sorry
I just unplugged the phone because no one ain't got time for that
ain't nobody got time for that. ain't nobody got time for that.
Hi, I'm Father Mike Schmitz. This is Ascension Presents
So back in the day there was this TV show called The Brady Bunch.
There was one time where I think Bobby got a part in the school play but he was
cast as Benedict Arnold. Bobby was really upset to be cast as Benedict Arnold. Why?
because it was always this line: "Who are you?"
"I'm Benedict Arnold, traitor to our country."
It was always that "Benedict Arnold, traitor to our country."
So I remember thinking like whenever I hear the word Benedict, the name Benedict Arnold, I
think traitor to our country. Whenever we think the name Judas what do you think?
Traitor. Brutus, what do you think? Traitor.
Actually, even Dante who wrote the Inferno, right, and the
Paradisio and the Purgatorio,
he wrote about this, actually he said in the
deepest circle of hell deepest pit of hell reserved for those who are
betrayers, those who are traitors, even Lucifer being a betrayer, a traitor, and
yet here's the thing. I think and we probably hopefully rightly say
like yeah, I don't I don't, betrayal not a good thing, being a traitor, not a good
thing. And yet how many of us enter into this thing that we might call everyday
betrayal, everyday betrayal. What do I call everyday betrayal?
Another word for it is gossip. James even says this. He has harsh words,
strong words. He says, "If anyone thinks he's religious and does not bridle his
tongue but deceives his heart his religion is vain." If anyone thinks
they're religious ... I mean because here's the thing. I don't know if you know
about this but sometimes the most gossip can happen at church from church people,
religious people; but St. James says if anyone thinks they're religious but
doesn't bridle their tongue their religion is worthless. It does not help
them one bit. So why do we keep doing this? I think one of the reasons we keep
gossiping, doing this everyday betrayal, it's because we give it fancy, we
give it nice names. We say "I'm just sharing, I'm just venting, I'm just
processing some stuff." But think about this. Hey, "I'm just venting." No, there's a
time when venting is actually legit, you need to vent, where like I need to ... here's
what I'm carrying in my life, here's what I'm going through in my life, I need to vent.
I need to invite people to help, I need to be taken care of, so please come and
care for me. I'm going to share this part of my life, I'm gonna vent this part of
my life with you so that you can bear it with me. Now that's not bad but here's
the thing: when my venting stops being I'm inviting you to just help me carry
this burden to I'm recruiting you to be on my side against that person then it's
become everyday betrayal, then it's become gossip . I say "I'm just sharing. I'm
just sharing," especially in our culture right now where we have this like you
have full access to everyone's life that there's no such thing as like a secret,
that you know broadcast people's lives just like you share it to
the world. But if I'm sharing the private details that the private possessions, I
mean think about it in that. Think about in terms of someone's
possessions. If it was their car or their house, so you can go ahead and use their
car go ahead and use their house. It's fine.
I'm gonna share their stuff. It'll be kind of the same thing and so it's in a
certain sense when I'm sharing someone else's story, when I'm sharing someone
else's information, well I'm, especially when I'm sharing
someone else's wounds, or things they're ashamed of is that's everyday betrayal.
That's gossip. That's deadly. There sometimes, of course, so sometimes you can
vent well, sometimes we can't. Sometimes we share well about myself, sometimes we
ought not and sometimes we need to process things. Sometimes we're going
through something that actually ... I'm going through this, I'm trying to figure
out like what to do here and I need to process out loud with someone I can
trust. And actually part of that processing
means that I'm going to be talking about someone else.
I remember talking to a man who was manager at his company and he said
he had to get together that other co managers and they had to evaluate the
performance of their employees and he said, "I just feel so badly talking about
the strengths and weaknesses of these people that are working for us. Is that gossip?"
No that's not gossip because why? Because you're saying what you need
to say. You're saying what needs to be said about this other person as opposed
to just that curiosity, as opposed to I'm just going to complain about them, as
opposed to I'm going to share their story for no good reason.
Processing, the right kind of processing means this: I'm talking to the right
people, the people who actually can help me, about
the right thing to accomplish the right end. Just because I get to process, just
because I do need counsel—just because I might need some advice
at this moment—that doesn't mean that I don't need
discretion; that doesn't mean I don't need charity in what I share and what I
don't share. Our words destroy lives and relationships, communities, and they can ...
our words and relationships can build lives and relationships and communities.
There's a line from St. Paul's letter to the Ephesians, chapter 4, he says when
you're talking, basically, say only the good things that people need to hear,
things that will really help them. And one of the questions I get to ask, I have
to ask, when I'm venting in the right way, or when I'm sharing in the right way,
when I need to process, say, "Wait, let me just say the good things that people
really need to hear, things that will truly help them." If this is not what they
need to hear it then I shouldn't be saying it. If it's not what will really
help them then I need to keep it to myself. If you have a trouble keeping it
to yourself I invite you to make Psalm 141 verse 3 your daily prayer. Psalm 141
verse 3 says this, the psalmist says, "Set a guard, oh Lord,
before my mouth, a gatekeeper at my lips." That might be—some of us—for some of us
who talk a lot and we may fall into the everyday betrayal on a regular basis,
that might be the necessary prayer that we need to pray every single day in
order to say only the good things that people need to hear. Things that will
really really help them . Set O Lord a guard before my mouth, a gatekeeper at my
lips, because what we want to say is not what divides, we want to say what unites.
We don't want to say what tears down. We want to say the things that build people
up, things that will truly help them because when we do this our religion is
not worthless but our faith in Jesus and the grace he offers us is powerful and
the community is alive. From all of us here at Ascension Presents, my name's Father Mike.
God bless.