- [Voiceover] Sim G M productions
(upbeat music)
- Previously on Pretty Little Liars Spoof
- How are you bitches not dead yet?
- We all have our secrets.
Uno, dos.
(crying)
- I hate this fucking kitchen!
- We could either stand out here and
talk about dying or we can go in there
and actually die.
- This is a trap and you're all gonna die.
(explosion)
- Aw it's a cute little racoon.
- Welcome to the Dollhouse ladies.
(yelping in pain)
- Who wants more wine?
(All) Me!
- Where does this knife fit in you?
(dramatic music)
- The only place that knife should fit
is in a chocolate cake.
- Wait
- I'm not waiting for shit this bitch
is about to kill me.
- No Mona's speaking in code.
- How?
- She said where does this knife fit in you
w-d-t-k-f-i-y.
- That's not what I
- Unscramble the letters and you get
the door is where you'll find ketchup.
- What?
- Ketchup?
Ketchup is usually found in a refrigerator.
- What the fuck are you talking about?
- There's a refrigerator right there.
(crushing sounds)
- Mona did you know about this?
- No, I was just gonna kill Hanna.
Sorry, Hanna.
- Fuck you.
- You guys, look.
- Hello girls, it looks like you've
figured it all out.
- Ew turn the channel.
- Sara are you A?
Is A Charles?
- You've been face to face with A
and you don't even know it, Charles put you here.
- Charles is the racoon.
- That's right, Aria.
- A racoon can't talk.
- It can when it's been highly trained.
- This whole time we've been running from a fucking racoon?
(static)
- It's true, I am Charles.
- It makes so much sense.
- I used to be Alison's pet, for years I
stood by her side as a companion and best friend.
Until she met you bitches.
- How the Hell are you talking?
- I was forgotten, thrown out, I wanted revenge.
- All of those threats, all of those texts
they were from you?
- They, I, and then, my
- Sorry about that, wifi sucks down here.
- Now we'll never get any answers from Charles.
- Are we seriously gonna ignore that
we just spoke to a fucking racoon?
- There's no escaping now, you'll
be trapped here forever.
- That door behind you looks familiar.
- It's the only exit out of here.
And you'll never find it.
I told you, you're trapped for
- Em, how did you find her?
- Guys, turn around.
- The escape.
- Let's get out of here.
(knocking)
- [Pam] Can anyone hear us?
- [Ella] It's useless, we've been
stuck down here for hours thanks to someone.
- [Veronica (Drunk)] I, it was an accident.
I didn't mean to lock the door.
- [Ashley] See, this is why I should
never leave my kitchen.
- [Pam] Calm down, you're just panicking.
- [Veronica] ♫ Trapped down here in this bitch's basement ♫
- [Ella] How many glasses of wine
did you have, Veronica?
- [Veronica] Mm, only like, seven.
Teen.
- [Ella] Get your hand off my breast.
- Wow, it's amazing what your Mom's done to this place.
- It's actually kind of weird.
- Oh thank God someone said it.
- It's so weird.
- This place should be called Trigger Warning Hotel.
- At least she's out of the kitchen.
Plus she deserves something nice after
being trapped in that basement for two months.
- How did they escape again?
- Aria's Mom did some sort of spell.
- Aria your Mom's a witch?
- So, how are things at the office, Spencer?
- Well I've been working there for two days
and I'm already Chief Executive of the firm.
- How the fuck?
- What have you guys been up to?
- Nothing!
- Em, are you OK?
- What?
It's just, nothing, don't worry about it.
Stop looking at me, shut up!
- Oooookay, what about you Aria?
Aria?
- What?
- You kind of zoned out more than usual.
- Oh it's nothing, I'm fine.
- Don't you guys find it messed up that we're here?
- What do you mean?
- Alison sending us that letter.
- Yeah, Ali tells us to get back to Rosewood
and we come running.
- Yep.
- Then she invites us back to her place
and we chat for awhile.
- I guess that could happen.
- And you have a couple of drinks
and next thing you know we're naked.
- What?
- Touching her silky smooth
- Emily!
- Um, where am I?
- Apparently not this planet, bitch.
- There's gotta be a reason why
Ali wanted us all here.
- I wanted us to celebrate.
- Celebrate what, your racoon torturing us for years?
- Celebrate life, Charles didn't
mean what he did, he, he's
my only family.
- But how does it talk, dammit?
- You were all once my family too.
I want to make it up to you girls.
- Make it up to us how?
- There's nothing you could do
to erase the trauma.
- How about we have some drinks?
(all mumbling)
- I'll pay for everything.
(All) We're in!
(creepy music)
- [Voiceover] Em?
Em, wake up.
Em?
- What happened?
- That's what we've been trying to figure out.
- My head is killing me.
- Same, I felt like crap.
- Does anyone remember anything?
- The last thing I remember is you
drinking shots.
- Is that blood?
- You guys that's not all.
Allison's missing.
(upbeat music)
- So I was in my office when I got
a call from Kendall.
Honey, what's wrong?
- [Kendall] I just found out that
Kim, Khloe and Kourtney lied to me.
- What do you mean?
- [Kendall] I know how they really feel
about my video, it's messed up.
- Who told you?
- [Kendall] I've got to go.