Do you want to know what the Magic Bullet is when it comes to negotiating with a narcissist,
then stay tuned, because by the end of this video, you're going to know exactly what that is.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung and I've been recognized as one of the top 1% of attorneys in the country and
I've written a couple of bestselling books, Negotiate Like You Matter and Breaking Free:
A Step-By-Step Divorce Guide, and I've helped millions of people with negotiating with
narcissists. Yep. That's what I do. I teach people how to get what they want, how to create strategy,
tactics, leverage, in dealing with the most toxic personalities on the planet.
And if you are ready to win, if you are ready to feel powerful,
if you are ready to shift that dynamic with that narcissist, then
go ahead and subscribe to my channel and hit the notification bell. That way you'll get
notified every time I upload new content and hey, it's free. So why not do it? All right.
So, let's talk about that Magic Bullet. When you are dealing with a narcissist
in a negotiation setting, it feels impossible, doesn't it? Like, doesn't it feel like, Oh my God,
why do they always win? Why do they always get away with things?
So, one thing I do want to say about getting away with things is, when you say that number one,
it kind of like assumes by the way, that there's sort of like this magic person or power,
that should be overseeing everything and the only person that has any power over somebody
is a judge. That's the only person who has the power to say, "You are ordered to do this and
if you don't do this, something bad is going to happen to you." Lawyers don't have that power.
Police don't really have that power. Police can arrest people, but even once they're arrested,
they end up having to end up in court and then a judge will decide what happens to them.
So regardless of whatever the situation is, the only people who have power to order people to do
things are judges. That's it. No one else. And so the power that lawyers have is in getting people
in front of judges and persuading judges that the law says that this is what should happen to this
person and asking the judge to render that order. Then judges take all the information together.
They listened to the facts, the evidence. They gather all the stuff. They take it under
consideration once it's submitted to them and they render an order and then whatever the order says,
the order says. And at that point, people have the ability to appeal it, or ask it to be set aside,
or ask for a rehearing or reconsideration, or whatever. But that's what happens.
So when you say, how are they getting away with it? It really is just because they kind
of like can, until you get it in front of the judge and get the judge to say,
"This is what should happen." Or, or, or, you can use your Magic Bullet and the Magic Bullet
is your leverage. And how do you create that leverage? Well, let's talk about that.
So when you are dealing with a narcissist, they are driven by one thing.
Come on, you know what it is? Say it with me. Yep, narcissistic supply. That's what they're dealing
with. That's the only thing they care about and if you want to know more about narcissistic supply
and leverage, you can definitely check out my video on creating leverage,
but I'm going to talk more about that here too. Now I also have a video on narcissistic supply.
You should check that out. Narcissistic supply is what feeds that narcissist.
It is the only thing they care about. They are literally on the hunt.
Constantly preying, preying, preying and I don't mean this kind of praying. I don't mean the one
with the A. I'm in the one with the E like they're predators. They need to go after you.
Whoever it is. Whoever's near them. They need to suck as much narcissistic supply
from every person, in every event that they possibly can. They have no inner sense of value.
Zero. So therefore, all of it has to come from the external for them. They're like slapping it on,
like lacquer and they are trying to pretend that they are this big person, big person on campus,
the VIP, the most important, because they don't feel any sense of value on the inside, so it
all has to come from the outside. And so that's what narcissistic supply is. That's the key,
that's the Magic Bullet. That's where you have to go if you want to create leverage. All right.
So in my SLAY Program, I talk about leverage. I talk about developing a super strong strategy,
which is what S stands for. I talk about creating invincible leverage, which is what your
L is. Anticipating, how the narcissist is going to behave in staying two steps ahead of them
and staying, hey, instead of being behind all the time, being ahead. That's the A. And Y is
focusing on you, your case, your position. So, so, so important. You don't want to be constantly on
the defensive. You want to be on the offensive. Remember a football team that only has a great
defense but no offense, means no one's scoring any points, right?
So you have to be the one scoring the points and how you do that is going on the offensive,
creating that strategy, creating that leverage, creating that Magic Bullet. And if you want that
Magic Bullet in your negotiations, I want to see Magic Bullet in the comments, right now.
So how do you do that? So one of the things that you've got to understand when it comes to leverage
with a narcissist is that there are hierarchies of supply when it comes to narcissists.
Some narcissists are driven by certain things. Some narcissists are driven by other things,
but there's always going to be a hierarchy of it. Certain forms of supply are definitely going to be
worth more to them than other forms of supply. Certainly how they look, their reputation,
all of those things are always going to be high, high, high levels of supply,
as well as other forms of supply, that mean more to them, such as
somebody who's more prestigious or a friendship with somebody who's more powerful. Something like
that. Those things mean a lot to the narcissist and they'll protect those things at any cost.
So the other forms of supply that they get are the garden variety stuff that they do all the time,
like making you miserable, by ignoring court orders, ignoring the terms of a contract,
passive aggressive stuff. Like, you ask them to do something or they even volunteer to do
something and then they don't do it. And then when you ask them, "How come you didn't do this thing?"
Then they act like you are nagging them and you're a pain in the neck or they have 50,000 excuses.
Narcissists are great at projection and if you want to fight back against narcissistic
projection, you should definitely check out my video on narcissistic projection, but that's
what you're going to get because they get supply from that. Narcissist love making you miserable,
seeing you squirm, manipulating you, putting fear in you, making you feel out of control. They love
that. So, by the way, they lose control sometimes too. And if they do, then they
do end up collapsing and if you want to know more about what happens when a narcissist collapses,
you should definitely check out my video on what happens when a narcissist collapses,
but spoiler alert, it aint pretty,.all right. I'll just say that right now. It ain't pretty, but
it does happen and when you are negotiating with them, you want to get them to a point
where they're nervous that their supply source, the one that means more to them to retain,
is going to be threatened in some way. Now you don't actually take it away.
That's the key, unless you have to. Unless you have to. You have to be ready to go
forward with your threats, by the way. You have to be ready to do that. But the best,
the sweet spot is in threatening that source, where they feel that you really are going to go
forward with what it is that you're saying you're going to do and then
they'll have to make a choice at that point. They'll have to make a choice on letting go of
the supply that they get from you, in order to keep the supply that means more to them.
So, that's the Magic Bullet right there. That's the sweet spot. It's always in threatening some
form of narcissistic supply. They don't want to have to let go of any form of supply. So,
giving up the supply that they got from jerking you around and making you miserable, it's not
going to be easy. They want to hold onto it all. They're like hoarders. I need this supply and I
need that supply. I need this supply. They need it all. Just like, they're like children or toddlers
that have to keep it all, as much as possible. But, if they're driven to the brink, they will
let go of the supply that they get from making you miserable, if they have to and what you will be
creating in your SLAY methodology. When you figure out how to do all of that together, that's when
you are ready to SLAY your negotiation. All right. So where do you start? Well, you have to start
somewhere, so I make it so easy for you. You start with the free resources that I have to offer you,
which are, number one, your Free Crush My Negotiation Prep Worksheet,
which is at winmynegotiation.com and it's 15 pages; it's basically an eBook. There are so
many people who have written to us and told us like that they've actually won their negotiations
on that. So grab that; winmynegotiation.com. Also feel free to please join us in
my free private Facebook group, which is Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung
And there are lots and lots of people in there who are helping each other, supporting each other,
giving each other ideas and that's totally free. So between the free eBook, the
Facebook group and this YouTube, also I do have a podcast, if you want to check that out
and that's Negotiate Your Best Life, and you can find it anywhere that there are podcasts. So lots
and lots of free resources for you to get started, to learn about how to create leverage, how to
threaten that source of narcissistic supply, how to use that Magic Bullet. And remember that
today is a great day to start negotiating your best life and I will see you in the next video.