Mom and Dad left me in charge while they're gone.
I know!
Which means I want you to treat me exactly as you would treat them.
So I want you to ignore me all the time,
Treat me like an idiot,
And talk back to me all the time!
Ok.
OKAY WHAT?
OKAY YOU STUPID DUMB IDIOT
GOSH!
That's Better
Doing good sweetie.
Every Babysitter Ever
Please just give me ice cream now!
No! You can not
Have Ice cream for dinner!
You suck.
*Phone Rings*
It's your dad so shhhh!
Hello?
Hey Alyssa! I'm just calling to check in!
Help me daddy she's hitting me!
SHHH!
What's going on over there!?
It's nothing Davey is just y-
OWW!
MY LITTLE CHILD BONES!
That's it! I'm coming home!
HAHAHA! My daddy's coming home!
He's not gonna let you have ice cream for dinner either!
*Continues laughing*
Oh...
I..I guess I didn't think that through
Your mom did not say you could play with knives!
Victor, Yep?
Why do you want to be a babysitter?
Well, I think childcare is a fun challenge,
..and I can learn just as much from the kids as they learn for me
Hmm, okay.
And Emma. How about you?
Uh, well.
I want money,
but I can't get a real job because I'm a "felon."
I'm CPR certified!
Kids don't feel pain the way that adults feel pain.
Limited screen time and lots of exercise!
You guys don't drug test here, do you?
- Okay. I think we have made our decision. - 100%.
- We are gonna go with Emma. - Emma.
Hell, yeah
No, she's gonna put your children in danger
True, but you are a man, and male babysitters are really creepy. - No, wel-
Damn, I - I get it..
Hey, uhm, where's your medicine cabinet..?
MRS.ROBERTSON YOUR CHILDREN ARE DEMONS
* scream*
I LOVE SUGAR
OH!
Hi..
I know, sorry we're four hours late,
we were trying to escape our nightmare
children and we got halfway to the border and then we realized that we forgot our passports. Oh, dummies. Anyway, can you babysit again tomorrow?
No way. We'll leave you extra pizza money
*tongue tease thingy idk*
-AAAAAAAA
Okay, FINE..
*sigh* Pizza's my weakness..
-I'M A MAGICIANNN!
- I BROKE MY LEG!...
YES! I got an extra $20 bill this time.
Thanks for keeping me company while I babysit.
-Oh, no problem babe.
Yeah, the kids are asleep. So we just have to be quiet
-What??
Ah, man. I wanted to color and play hide and seek.
You didn't want to like hook up or lik-.
NOO!
NO, I WANT TO BABYSIT!!
BUT NO ONE WILL HIRE A MALE BABYSITTER!!!!!
*stomps feet while having a childish tantrum*
I'm gonna invite my boyfriend over
Okay, good night ki-
-Wait, wait. Wait, I can't sleep yet.
Oh my god it's 45 minutes past your bedtime. So this better be good
-Um,
OH MY GOD,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?
OOOH
-Now you're gonna have to take me to the HOSPITAL and the ER linewait is gonna be like TWO HOURS!!!
I WON'T EVER SLEEP!!!
*kid laughs* OH MY GOD, oka-okay.. CMON!
JUST GET IN THE CAR
- aww, im tired, can you carry me?
Ugh....
Where is the candy stash!?!?
Hahaha!
That cab driver hated you,
he just threw up EVERYWHERE!
-UHHH!!!! No I didn't. Oh uh, Hello Alyssa! And..hello little young Collin..! *yawns*
- How was your guys's night? - Oh, great. Go home safe, you-lyssa.
Um, I think I'm gonna stay with Collin until you two get to bed.
-Oh nonsense we're fine RIGHT JEREMY?
Crazy-ass kids.
-Oh, let's just go see what's in mom's jewelry.
Now boys, turn out the lights and get some sleep!
-But it's so light outside Mrs Gibbons!
Mmmm..Then COVER your eyes with your sleeping bonnets, you little wankers!
OH! I almost FORGOT, your Castor Oil!
But we don't like Castor Oil Ms Gibbons!
You're a pair of NAUGHTY BOYS!!
When are our parents coming home?
On SUNDAY. Now get some rest because tomorrow is gonna be a long day of APPLYING MEDICAL OINTMENT TO THE SORES ON ME ARSE!!!
aww.. MAN..
Every.
Babysitter.
EVER.
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Uh- do it,
I guess.. if you want.
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