I am scared to death. I am scared to stand up here. I am scared to talk to people.
I'm scared to mess up, and I am scared to fail.
My name is Karlee Baugh. I'm from Weber County, and 4-H has helped me to overcome
my fear and my so called "failures." My 4-H story is filled with many first times
blonde moments, forgetful moments, and many, many mistakes, but there have also
been all those moments that make the hard work worthwhile.
My older sister has been a huge influence to me. She has been there for me, setting
an example, even when she hasn't known it.
She said a quote that has always stuck with me. She said, "courage is not the
absence of fear, it's having fear and doing it anyways."
I adapted this quote to use in my life, filled with anxiety and lots of 4-H. I
changed it to say "4-H is not the absence of mistakes, it's messing up, learning,
and becoming better from it." I have learned to use this in all aspects of my
life, we all mess up, but after we do, we have the choice to learn from our mistakes.
Everyone knows that after we fall off a horse we need to get back on the saddle
again, but I have learned that this is easier said than done.
My first 4-H contest was at the Weber County fair. I had drawn a picture of a
horse. To me, it was the most beautiful piece of artwork that I had ever done.
I carried it around with me all week. We got a frame for it. It felt like a piece
of me was missing when we took it to the fairgrounds to be judged.
I went back the last day of the fair to pick up my project, and I was devastated
to see a red ribbon hanging from the frame. My prized picture was suddenly
awful. I got a red ribbon. Second place, second best. So I did what any 10 year old
might do. I went out to the car, and I cried. I cried and I cried and I cried.
Thankfully, my mom talked me into going back in to ask what I could do to improve
for next year. I went inside with puffy red eyes. I couldn't talk because I was
still hyperventilating from the crying. And my mom asked the 4-H extension agent
what I could do to fix my project. That extension agent gave me the advice, but
more importantly the confidence to move on.
After this experience I took some art classes. I worked hard on my drawing skills.
And the next year my artwork went to the Utah State fair.
I kept working still, and took art class after art class, and just last year, I was
able to win first place in the Weber School District art show.
Without that push to do better, I might have given up on all of my art projects,
and I could never have achieved anything more than that red ribbon.
I kept the picture to remind me that the only time we really fail is when we don't
even try.
I warned you, I have had a lot of blonde moments.
In the consumer decisions contest I made one of the biggest 4-H mistakes I have
ever made. The contest is meant to teach us how to find the best quality and price
when you're buying something at a store. You rate four products from the best buy
to the worst buy.
I was so prepared. I helped teach my whole club how to do it. We practiced day and
night. By the time the contest came, I was so confident that I would do amazing.
Have you ever heard of dyslexia? I really wish I could use that excuse sometimes.
During the contest we had a piece of scratch paper to write down all of our
answers on. So I wrote my answers on that piece of scratch paper and then
transferred them to an answer sheet to make it look nice.
As I was transferring it, I did every problem exactly right, but they
were listed backwards, from the worst buy to the best buy.
I stood there to get my picture taken with everyone in my club who got a blue ribbon
and I was the only one who did not so great. From this I learned to look back
and laugh at our mistakes because we have learned so much since then.
The very next year I decided to do the impromptu public speaking contest.
I have become a lot better at last-minute since then.
My friends even know me as "Queen of everything last minute."
I was giving a speech on what the 4-H program helps me with in my daily life.
I had a really awesome speech going, until I started talking about the things I could
do because of 4-H. I said, "4-H has taught me to do a lot of things my older brother
who wasn't in 4-H can't do. He makes a lot of Ramen Noodles for lunch, but since I'm
in 4-H I can make other things like, well, like, grilled cheese sandwiches!"
After that, I felt so embarrassed. What was I saying? I can make so many amazing
things because of 4-H. Why on earth did I say grilled cheese sandwiches?
From this experience I learned to brush off the mistakes that I make.
Fortunately, most people don't remember them, so I can move on, improve, and
really amaze them next time.
This past year I decided to apply for state ambassador. It was more work than
I ever thought it would be. It was hard for me to finish a three month
project. It was hard to go interviews, and finish presentation after presentation.
I didn't think I would make a single friend there, but I was wrong again, and
I met so many people there that worked just as hard, some even harder than I do.
Everyone became friends working together to reach the same goal.
When interviews were over, I was sad to go home, and anxious to find out the results
of that process I had worked so hard on.
I waited and I waited, and the new ambassadors were posted online,
and I was devastated again, to see that my name wasn't on there.
Even though I knew I shouldn't, and even
though Craig said not to, I promised myself that I would never do another 4-H
activity again.
I told myself "I'm not going to state contests, I'm not doing a county contest,
I'm not going to team council, I'm not even going to wear my 4-H t-shirt."
Obviously that's not true, and I didn't follow through because I am standing here
today, but I really owe that to one of those amazing friends that I met at
ambassador interviews. She sent me a message on Skype, and all she said was
"You did so good at interviews, I thought for sure you would have made it."
I read it over and over again, trying to
think of all 4-H has taught me, and realize something: there must be
even more to learn.
With that push and that new lesson to try and learn, I sent in my application to go
to state contests, being happier than ever that I could see those friends that I had
made again.
I tried to figure out what I had learned since then, and I think I finally figured
it out.
4-H isn't about the amount of trophies and ribbons you have. It's not about having
a special position or even the things you have created.
The harder the climb up the mountain, the greater the thrill of the peak.
4-H is about the journey, not the outcome, the people you've helped, and the things
you've learned from your successes or your failures.
So yes, I'm scared to death. I'm scared to stand up here, I'm scared to talk to
people, I'm scared to mess up, and I'm really scared to fail.
4-H gave me the opportunity to overcome my fear. To have fear, and do it anyways.
To make mistakes, and learn from them, so later in life I won't have to.
Because of 4-H I am one stubborn girl who has no plans on giving up on her dreams or
goals. If there's anything that I really want you to learn from my mistakes, it's
this: there is a first for everything. If you mess up, don't give up. Laugh
at the silly mistakes you've made. What would you have learned without them?
Move on from embarrassing moments and fix them so you won't have to experience
them again, and never give up on something because you fail. If you were the best you
could be, you have already won the greatest prize of all.
As for everything else I have learned, and will continue to learn because
of 4-H, I will have to keep you posted, but I know that 4-H will always be there
in my life to teach me valuable lessons that last a life time.
Thank you.
[audience clapping]