[ Tires Squealing ]
What's your problem, schmuck ?
l'm an inconsiderate prick !
[ Siren Wailing ]
Oh, shit !
Shit !
- You know why l pulled you over ? - Depends on how long you were following me !
- Why don't we take it from the top ? - Here goes.
l sped, l followed too closely, l ran a stop sign,
l almost hit a Chevy, l sped some more, l failed to yield,
l changed lanes without signaling while speeding !
- Is that all ? - No.
l have unpaid parking tickets.
[ Groans ]
Be gentle.
Audrey ! Wait !
Wait, Audrey. Ooh ! Hold on. Wait !
Wait. l iust had an insight into myself. l'm crazy.
You call and say, ''Wait, l'll be right over,''
and here's the crazy part-- l actually wait.
- l can explain this. - l have missed a department meeting.
- Did you come in a cab ? - Yes !
Where's your car ?
Thank you ! l can't tell you how much this means to me.
- l can. $1,654.11. - How do you sleep at night ?
l'm takin' this. [ Inhales Loudly ]
[ Loud Crunch ]
[ Tires Squealing ]
You scratched my car !
- Where ? - Right there !
Oh, there. That was already there.
Why, you--
You liar !
-You know what l'm gonna do about this ? -What ?
Nothing ! Because if l take you to court, it'll drain eight hours out of my life,
and you won't show up, and if l got the judgement, you'd just stiff me anyway !
So l'm gonna piss and moan like an impotent jerk...
and then bend over and take it up the tailpipe !
You been here before, haven't ya ?