several years ago I worked as a
psychologist for a Cancer Center and one
of the things I noticed there is that
when people were terminally ill they
wanted to talk about their anger it's
almost as if they needed to be validated
for why they felt the way they did why
they had held grudges for years like
they needed to unload it on somebody but
it had to be someone who wasn't afraid
of their anger and who also could
understand and validate their feelings
on today's reaction reset I'm talking
about how to let go of anger and grudges
from the past
the thing about anger is it's not the
bad guy
anger happens in the limbic area of the
brain which is the most primitive part
of the brain so when you get angry what
happens is you have a response to make
it's a fight or a flight it has saved
our generations for thousands and
thousands of years the problem today is
the limbic system can get stimulated and
you're told
I'd better fight or flight but what
happens if you don't have to fight and
you don't have to flight that anger sits
there and it ends up causing you to take
an action that isn't always in your best
interests whether or not you know it
when you hold these things in and
there's many people right now in society
holding and anger that stuff can kill
you and the worst part is anger doesn't
die as it gets older anger digs in it's
ruts you will end up not only destroying
your emotional health but you're gonna
destroy your physical health anger takes
its toll on the whole body but even
worse it takes its toll on everyone you
ever loved and eventually it will
destroy you too these suggestions are
for you to practice don't wait until
you're on your deathbed to make a peace
and to let your anger go the first step
is to acknowledge the hurt listen
someone did something to you that hurt
you
that's real but it doesn't mean you
should go after them instead write it
down your job is to get it out of your
head and onto the paper
you're gonna write everything down the
more details you have the better you can
add to it just keep it in a journal keep
adding to it however this is really the
important part after you write the whole
thing down destroy it it's not gonna do
you any good to send it to someone it's
not gonna help that person you send it
to either it's more important that you
get it out of your head
you Cathar sit onto paper and then you
destroy it
so you can let it go the second step is
to make a decision to forgive now listen
forgiveness doesn't mean you condone it
you you shouldn't condone it some things
are so hurtful how could you ever do
that but at the same time forgiveness is
a gift you give yourself if you choose
to forgive that's an action you give
you're freeing yourself it's like being
tied down and somebody gives you a knife
and you're able to cut the ropes that
tie you down
you are free you're elevating yourself
to become a full human alive person
again you don't have to carry that junk
from the past the third step is consider
the trade-off if you don't let go of the
grudge when you hold a grudge it stunts
your growth so you stopped at that point
if you look at the people that you have
a grudge against they went on some of
them got married they have babies they
got divorced as some of them died who
cares
in fact you don't even carry you're
probably bored with your grudge you have
to keep bringing it back to keep it
alive when you consider letting go of it
you'll see oh my goodness like I have a
whole life I've never lived and that's
the scary feeling that's what keeps you
attached to it because as long as you
remind yourself you can fill that void
but what a terrible miserable way to
live it's much wiser if you let it go
and begin reinvesting in yourself to
fill that void that that grunge has been
holding so long the last step is to
practice and build grace if you took one
morning and just journaled wrote down
every grace that's afforded to you you
would have a page full it's in that same
spirit that you start thinking where can
I afford grace to others I mean just
taking all the time is not going to
build grace being able to compare okay I
can give grace here because
I was afforded grace with this will help
you understand the more you give the
more you can receive back it's a healthy
way to rebuild and also help fill that
emptiness that you may feel from the let
go grudge as I told you earlier feelings
that are buried don't die they dig
deeper
so take the risk and give yourself
permission to free yourself and find joy
again give up the garage give up the
anger it's not serving any purpose
anymore you don't need it remember
change your reaction change your world
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