- We have discovered
a crashed flying saucer.
- Holy (bleep).
(theme music)
- Good day to you, my friends.
My name is Duncan Trussell
and today, we're gonna talk about Timothy Leary.
- I have a quick question I wanna ask you.
How much is acid?
Okay.
There's my answer.
- Well, it should be free.
(Derek laughs)
- So, Timothy Leary was a professor at Harvard
and he starts doing these amazing experiments with LSD.
So, Timothy Leary
starts announcing to the world,
"There's no reason that you have to go to war
"and kill people you don't know.
"We're all one thing, man.
"I've learned this from this chemical.
"Tune in, turn on, drop out."
Nixon was president.
So Richard Nixon said,
"Timothy Leary must be stopped."
Like, they wanted him in jail.
They're psychopaths!
You're dealing with a psych--
You're dealing with like lunatics.
Okay, so Timothy Leary is in Laguna Beach,
gets pulled over by a cop, they plant joints on him.
The cop is like,
"Oh yeah, we found two roaches in your (bleep) car."
So Leary's like,
"Really?
"You're gonna arrest me for this?
"That's who you are?
"You asshole!"
So he got put in jail
and the sentence is 30 years.
He goes to prison in San Luis Obisbal...
Obispo.
San Luis Obisbal.
(laughs)
I can't sit up.
So Leary is in prison, sitting in his bunk
thinking to himself,
"Why am I in prison?
"I'm in prison 'cause of some backwards bullshit,
"narcicisstic (bleep) government
"that we're supposed to act like is the way things work
"in this shit game we call the United States."
So he starts planning an escape.
So like, he made friends with the people
who've been in prison the longest.
They tell him like,
"Well, there's a cable that runs over the prison.
"That, if someone had the guts, they could crawl across
"that wire and probably get free
"and that's how you get out of here, baby."
- Calling him baby?
- Yeah.
Okay, so he meets every Sunday with his wife, Rosemary,
and he's like,
"I love you.
"You're amazing, you're beautiful,
"I want to get out of prison so let's raise some money
"and figure out a way for someone to get me
"the (bleep) out of this shit hole."
Rosemary raised $23,000, gave it to the Weather Underground.
So the Weather Underground is a group of activist students.
They were like,
"Listen, if you really want to get out of this prison,
"do it in late September
"because that's when the fogs come."
And so he waits.
And he starts working out.
So Timothy Leary was like, playing handball,
sit ups, working out in the day.
Timothy Leary's playing handball,
doing (bleep) bench presses, sit ups, getting ripped.
So on September 12th, 1970,
it's foggy, it's the perfect time to escape.
So Dr. Timothy Leary decided,
"All right, I'm going to get the (bleep)
'out of this stupid shit hole."
(dramatic music)
So he creeps out of his cell.
He gets out of there, goes out into the hallway,
and he looks around the hall.
So he sneaks around into a doorway
that opens up to the prison yard.
He runs across the prison yard in the dead of the night,
he avoids the lights, and climbs up a tree.
He climbs up a tree.
And he's like on the rooftop, like a squirrel.
Runs over the roof.
And there's a wire.
So he gets to the cable, he begins to climb
across the cable.
So he's hanging--
really think about this, man!
This is Galileo!
This is one of the smartest people that ever lived.
This is one of the smartest of us.
- I'm with you.
- All right.
So, halfway through the cable, he thinks to himself,
"I'm out of energy.
"They're gonna poke me out here like a (bleep)
"sloth in a tree with a stick.
"I'm gonna die."
And then he found something deep inside.
Some reservoir of energy and he's like,
"No, I'm gonna keep moving and I'm gonna climb
"across this (bleep) cable."
And that's what he did.
Climbed across the cable, dropped down.
So Leary's running down the (bleep) road.
Half mile, he's been training for this.
Rocky Balbo--
(stutters)
(stammers) (laughter)
- [Derek] Now you have to say it.
- He's Rocky Balboa.
He's running down the street.
Van pulls up,
it's the Weather Underground and they're like,
(laughs)
"Let's go to Algeria, you idiot."
(laughs)
So, they capture him again.
He gets sentenced to Folsom.
And then Governor Jerry Brown gets him a pardon.
He leaves a free man.
He went to jail for nothing.
He was in prison 'cause he was too smart.
If being smart was illegal, we would be in the best
planet on earth.
Being smart is not illegal.
Being dumb
is legal.
- What are your dogs' names?
- This is Fox and that's Gatsby.
It's ruining everything.
I knew they would.
- I thought they were being locked away in the basement?
- Well they got out.
They escaped.
My (bleep) dogs escaped!
- Hello.
Today we're gonna be talking about
the Roswell UFO crash of 1947.
(laughs)
So Mac Brazel, a foreman for a sheep rancher,
he sees some metallic
pieces laying upon his acreage.
He's like,
"Well this is very interesting.
"I mean, what the ding dong could this really be?
"There are some things going on on this ranch
"that defy human explanation."
So immediately, he contacts a local Army Air Force base,
they sent out a guy named Major Jesse Marcel.
A very decorated, very smart individual.
The Major Jesse Marcel's like,
"Well this is not from us.
"This is not from the Air Force.
"This is not from
"a crashed airplane.
"This is not crash from satellites.
"This must be alien."
So Major Jesse Marcel contacts the local paper and says,
"We have discovered
"a crashed flying saucer."
Holy (bleep).
In the newspaper, they actually put
the military has recovered alien space crass--
spacecraft that has crashed with wreckage.
The Pentagon is freaking out.
So they're basically saying,
"Oh, Jesus Christ.
"Project Mogul, you know that thing we're doing?
"The
"balloon that we're testing with microphones,
"trying to detect
"Russian nuclear activity?
"Our top secret project has crashed on a sheep rancher's
"property, man."
This was the most
top secret
project going on at the time.
And Project Mogul was
a weather balloon, atmospheric craft
that was going to detect sound of a nuclear
test going on
with nuclear weapons.
All of a sudden, the Pentagon,
they are swarming the area.
They're cornering off the whole area,
they're picking up debris.
The Pentagon kept the Air Force in the dark
about this whole thing.
So Major Jesse Marcel said,
"We are in the midst of a huge coverup.
"Holy (bleep), this is crazy."
Which, for the Pentagon, is exactly what they wanted.
Secret military, alien.
The perfect smokescreen.
Years go on and on and
no one gave a (bleep).
The local town people sort of forgot about it
and it wasn't a big deal.
They're like,
"Oh yeah, well we're not really sure what happened,"
blah, blah, blah, everyone forgot about it.
Until 1978.
Jesse Marcel, now a very aging man calls up
famed UFOlogist, Stanton T. Friedman.
I need to tell you a bit of a story.
It's the story of the Roswell UFO crash.
Stanton Friedman's like,
"I'm all ears.
"Give me the juice.
"Give me the juice that I so desire."
Sorry, I'm lost.
- We were talking about Roswell.
(laughs)
- And yeah.
(laughs)
So Stanton Friedman flies down there
from northern California and is just like,
"I'm loving this, this is a great situation."
Marcel, he gives him the whole Roswell spiel.
Stanton Friedman hears all about this and so he's like,
"Paydirt.
"Eureka, I am going to write
"a book."
And write a book, he does.
He writes a best seller.
Roswell, now, which had been forgotten about
for 30 years, becomes a huge deal.
And thus is born a whole new generation of UFOlogists.
It must be an alien spacecraft
from another planet.
Capiche?
- [Derek] Capiche.
- In 1995, citizens kept on writing in saying,
"Can you please tell us what happened with Roswell?"
So the Pentagon says,
"All right, you deserve to know.
"We will release all the Freedom of Information Act,"
FOIA documents, they do so,
and the whole story about Project Mogul comes out.
The reality of the situation is is that
extraterrestrial beings from another planet
did not crash in the desert of Roswell, New Mexico.
And you know, now today, Roswell the town
refuses to acknowledge Project Mogul.
So they are the ones projecting the UFO angle
with all this stuff.
Well this is
kind of a rendition of the typical pleiadians gray alien.
He's got the teardrop, almond eyes,
the nose with the limited slits, and then the mouth.
- How much did you pay for this thing?
- $450.
- [Derek] Jesus. - I got a good deal.
- They saw you coming.
They didn't show you the back part until you left?
- I didn't see that until I got home
and yeah, I did feel like quite a heel for that.
- Hey, now.
My name is Lucius Dillon and today,
we're gonna talk about the mysterious death of Thomas Ince.
Was he murdered?
Did it did?
- What?
- All right, so the year is November of 1924.
Thomas Ince was a big deal Hollywood producer.
And big old, huge newspaper tycoon William Randolph Hearst
wanted to get into the movie industry.
Hearst is like,
"Hey, it's your 44th birthday.
"Why don't you come to my yacht?
"We'll take a three day cruise, we'll get some celebrities,
"we'll sign some contracts to make us business partners.
"It's gonna be a great, great, great, great humdinger
"of a good time."
So he's like, "Great."
So they set out on the yacht.
So it's Hearst and it's Ince
and it's acrtress Marion Davies.
She was Hearst's very unsecretive mistress.
- Aw.
- It's Charlie Chaplin and it's also
gossip golumnist Louella Parsons.
And other people not famous enough
to mention in this story.
So they all go out for three days
but when the boat returns,
Thomas Ince was dead.
(gulp)
Party over.
The newspaper read,
"Big Hot Shot Hollywood Producer
"Shot Dead On Hearst's Boat."
But then, the evening edition said,
"Ha Ha Ha!
"Whoops!
"Just Kidding!
"Heee Actually Died of Heart Failure in Hearst's Home.
"Ptt."
So yeah, weird.
But things get more confusing because
at Thomas's funeral, Ince's wife, Elinor is like,
"It's so terrible that my husband's died.
"Okay, thanks, come again."
And then she cremated him immediately
and (bleep) off to Europe.
So that was kind of odd.
We know he's dead, that's the one fact that we know
but since there was so many different stories,
I mean, it's pretty much like the movie "Clue."
But we're gonna figure it out.
We're gonna figure it out.
So one of the theories is that Thomas Ince
had a problem with ulcers.
Because he was a big Hollywood producer
and had a lot of stress and shit on his mind.
Of course, when he gets on the yacht,
champagne's flowing, they were having hootenannies
and bee-ba billies and blah blah blahs.
And then Ince is like,
"Oh.
"Salted almonds, yeah sure.
"I probably shouldn't.
"Okay, I'll have one or 40."
Then of course, when it comes to toasting time, it's like,
"Okay, it's my (bleep) birthday.
"Toast to me, love..."
But because of that, it ruptured his ulcer
and the next morning, he wakes up
with a heart attack.
Not that cool.
And then died.
- That's theory one.
So theory two is
they're having a great old time for three days,
except for Chaplin, who's in his room,
alone, suicidal, because like,
ugh, I'm Chaplin.
I'm a big old genius and I hate myself.
Oh, look at here.
There's a diamond crusted pistol.
Ince comes in and is like, "Hey, Chappy, what's going on?
"Look at you.
"Are you being funny?"
No, I'm being depressed.
I mean, clearly I have a pist--
oh, shit, I just shot you.
Oh, God.
Oh.
Oh, okay, God.
(burps)
Oh.
But here's the prevailing theory.
Hearst had a whole yacht party.
♪ Dandy baby ♪
♪ Blee blob a doo boo boo ♪
♪ Ding ding ba ba ♪
(farting noises)
♪ Bing ba boo ba ♪
♪ Ooh ooh de de diddly dee dee ♪
(popping sounds)
So a lot of music.
- Why'd you stop?
(laughter)
- And cut to
Ince and Hearst
going down the hall.
And Hearst is like,
"Oh, I love Chaplin because he does nice things
"to my bank roll.
"I love Davies because she does nice things
"to my downstairs."
They see Chaplin and Davies having some
sex, yes.
So then, go back to
Hearst had a
diamond crusted pistol, he's like,
"How dare you, Charlie McChaplin--"
not McChaplin, but--
"How dare you, Chaplin?
"I'm going to shoot you both."
So Ince did a slow-mo,
"No,
"he makes money for Hollywood."
And someone got shot and it was Ince.
And he died.
But maybe not.
(Derek laughs)
So after the incident, everyone was like,
"So, Louella, you were on the yacht.
"What's the scoop?
"Was it Hearst, was it Chaplin, was it Davies?
"What happened?"
"I saw nothing.
"I was not on the yacht.
"I was 3,000 miles away, you didn't even know about it."
She was there, she didn't say anything.
- What do you believe happened?
- I think that Hearst shot him
on the yacht with the revolvo--
revolver.
And he was buying up everyone to shut them
the (bleep) up.
I mean, he bought this gossip columnist,
he bought Ince's wife,
and he got away with it.
Because Hearst owns
everything, he owns all the newspapers,
he is the Citizen Kane, the rosebud.
And after all that, Hearst said like,
"Hey, everybody.
"Thomas Ince didn't die of natural causes--"
wait, no, yeah he did die.
"Thomas Ince did not die of
"murder, he died of natural causes.
"Nice try."
(laughs)
"I'm Hearst and I'm gonna go home and sleep with my wife.
"Goodnight."
(Derek laughs)
- Do you have any other theories?
No?