Star Trek Beyond is a fun, fast-paced space romp.
But just like any great action movie these days, it still includes more than a few head-scratchers.
Here's a look at some dumb things in Star Trek Beyond everyone just ignored.
Random chance
Creepy bad guy Krall is looking for an alien artifact that was chucked into space hundreds
of years ago.
So how convenient is it that Kirk happens to randomly end up with it after a totally
unrelated diplomatic mission?
It's also handy for Krall that Kirk kept it on board his ship instead of sending it somewhere
safe.
“Log that.
Put it in the vault Spock.
Thank you.”
Oh, and the fact that he brings it to the closest possible outpost to Krall's base is
a pretty lucky break as well!
Y'know, considering the endless vastness of space, and all.
Dangling plot thread
When everyone takes the escape pods and heads for Krall's planet, Scotty drops out late
and navigates his pod down to the surface.
When he gets there, he realizes he's landed it on the edge of a very big cliff, and finds
himself in a classic Fast and Furious-style action scene where he has to run up the falling
pod and grab hold of a tiny ledge hanging off the cliff.
Then we cut away, and the next time we see Scotty, he's safely wandering around the planet
— at the bottom of the cliff?
So how did he get off the cliff?
Scotty is known for his big brain, but not for his epic mountain climbing skills.
Unless he jury-rigged a jetpack, we'd expect the scene to end with him just falling to
his death.
Those darn drones
So, Krall's whole thing to get this artifact is to create a deadly bio-weapon.
But since Krall already has a seemingly unstoppable drone army capable of taking down Starfleet's
most advanced ships, why not just attack with that?
Style points?
Plus, we find out those drones are based on some ancient mining tech left on the planet.
So how did Krall turn a bunch of mining robots into the universe's most dangerous fleet?
Does that mean some jerky supervillain will just be able to weaponize all the drones we
have flying around here on Earth?
“This amazing innovation then lowers itself slowly to the ground, drops off the package,
and flies straight back up to altitude.”
Did we just figure out the real reason that Amazon's Jeff Bezos made a cameo in the movie?
“Cheers.”
Total re-Krall
Jaylah has conveniently been living in the U.S.S.
Franklin for years, and has used a fancy bit of cloaking tech to keep the ship hidden from
Krall and his minions.
But once Krall is revealed to be the long-lost captain of the Franklin, it begs the question:
How did he not already know where his ship landed?
Space amnesia?
A long night of drinking space beers?
Yeah, it was probably the space beers.
That's usually it.
Beastie bikes
“Let’s make some noise.”
Okay, so no one's going to dispute that this was probably one of the most fun scenes in
the movie.
And yes, we love the Beasties Boys too!
But even though it's been a running gag since 2009's Star Trek reboot, the fact that the
Beastie Boys are still supposedly relevant three centuries from now is actually pretty
silly.
Don't agree?
Here's a quick quiz: name a pop star from the 1760s.
While you're googling that, we also have to ask about the motorcycle that plays a pivotal
role in the finale.
Why is there an ancient motorcycle on the U.S.S.
Franklin, and how is it still working after all this time?
Between the bike and the Beastie Boys, it seems like director Justin Lin really just
wanted to make a cool '80s biker flick instead.
Uhura's Spidey-sense
We get a peek at the U.S.S.
Franklin's old crew footage midway through the film, though Kirk and everyone else turns
away before Idris Elba appears in the frame.
But Uhura circles back to the footage late in the film, gets a look at the long-lost
captain, and immediately deduces that the captain is actually Krall!
“It’s him.”
But...how?
He doesn't look anything like that anymore.
Does she have facial recognition software along with a GPS tracker in that necklace
Spock gave her?
“Lt. Uhura wears a Vokaya amulet which I presented to her as a token of my affection
and respect.”
“You gave your girlfriend radioactive jewelry.”
“The emission is harmless, doctor.
But its unique signature makes it very easy to identify.”
“You gave your girlfriend a tracking device.”
“That was not my intention.”
Or maybe all that Vulcan radiation gave her superpowers that let her see through Hollywood
prosthetics.
Terrible security
When Krall makes his move and attacks Yorktown, pretty much the only people around to help
stop the baddie from unleashing his virus are Kirk and the members of his team, along
with, of course, Greg Grunberg.
But this is supposed to be a fully-manned, top of the line space station.
So why are there no actual security measures?
The only time we see anyone at all is when the Yorktown mall cops run right past the
bad guy like a bunch of, well, mall cops.
Good job!
The big questions
A big chunk of Krall's plan is built on the fact that he's able to hack into Starfleet
and figure out where the artifact is to stage his attack on the Enterprise.
So if he can contact Starfleet, why didn't he ever just, like, call them for help?
Isn't he like a few hundred years old?
How does he even know how to pull any of this off?
How is Krall able to hack into Starfleet at all?
Is he…a member of Anonymous?
Scotty wrote the script
Now, it's important when considering some of the goofier aspects of Star Trek Beyond
to remember that Simon Pegg co-wrote the script.
That's probably why Scotty can suddenly scale sheer cliffs, finds a hot, space-elf girlfriend
right out of The Hobbit, and then somehow manages to get the U.S.S.
Franklin running again in a matter of hours more than a century after it crashed face
first into a planet.
Knowing that Scotty is basically a walking deus ex machina also explains how he was able
to teleport 20 people at a time during the film's epic escape sequence.
Just a few minutes earlier, he didn't trust it enough to beam out two people at a time,
which is why Bones nearly got nabbed by Krall's thugs.
“At least I won’t die alone.”
“Well that’s just typical.”
But when the plot needs it, suddenly he's totally cool with just transporting entire
football teams with no problems.
Sure.
“How many people can the Franklin transport at a time?”
“Uh, with a wee bit of modification, 20, max, but I’m not sure how long it would
hold out.”
Oh, and then there's the part where they "jump-start" the Franklin just by flinging it off a mountain,
despite the fact that we're told the Franklin wasn't designed to even function in the planet's
atmosphere.
Of course, it's no surprise that he struggled writing the 13th Star Trek film:
“It’s a fact, sure as day follows night, sure as eggs is eggs, sure as every odd-numbered
Star Trek movie is s---.”
Hmmm...
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