[Music]
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what is the relationship between you and
your mother like
perhaps you've noticed that something is
just not right in your relationship but
you have no idea why
and because of that you've questioned
yourself and wondered whether it was
something you were doing
or is it something she's doing sound
familiar
children of narcissistic parents go
through their lives feeling confused and
lost and in search of the love they
never received from home
they expect their mothers to nurture and
support them but when they're dealing
with narcissistic mothers
they aren't given the love and support
that healthy parents should provide
narcissism is one of the buzz words used
a lot in mental health literature
and social media so how do we know our
own mothers are narcissistic or
simply just being mothers in this video
we'll be discussing 10 signs you may
have a narcissistic mother
as a disclaimer this video is purely for
educational purposes and is not designed
to diagnose or suggest that your mother
is a narcissist because you recognize
some of the signs in this video
if you feel that your mother is
displaying narcissistic traits
and you feel that you can't talk to her
about it we suggest confiding in
somebody you trust
or speaking to a person in a
professional capacity such as a gp or a
mental health professional
let's begin number one she sees her
children as her trophies or her pawns
ever feel like your achievements are
used by your mother to show off her
status and her ability
a narcissistic mother sees her child as
an extension of herself
the sad truth is the only thing
narcissistic mothers care about
is how others see them through their
children so
when her child makes any mistake in
public she belittles them
a narcissistic mother will be full of
praise when you make her look good
hypercritical and judgmental when you
make her look bad
and the worst part she knows where it
hurts and will often not consider this
before making comments at your expense
if you have siblings she'll pit you
against each other to gain more control
the golden child is the one she favors
more solely because of how good you make
her look around others
if she sees you as the scapegoat she'll
put the blame on you for everything
and even emotionally reject you because
you make her look bad
number two she likes to keep control
does she get angry when you disagree or
don't do what she wants you to do
does she try to make you feel guilty for
having separate interests
hobbies desires and opinions mothers who
exhibit
narcissistic traits like to have
complete control over all
aspects of their children's lives from
friends to music to clothes
and habits number three she uses
manipulation to get what she wants
does trying to assert yourself result
towards your mother in anger
rejection and hostility manipulation is
her game
and she will often play it well she will
use guilt trips through emotional
blackmail to make you and any siblings
you may have
danced to her music she doesn't
appreciate your attempts to
individuate as it means you're going to
be less available to serve her needs
number four her love is conditional
rather than
unconditional as mentioned earlier the
mother who is narcissistic
is interested in how you and your
achievements reflect on her
however on the flip side she may even
become jealous
as a result she may use love as a way to
reward and to punish
narcissistic mothers know that the most
powerful weapon over their children
is their love which is one of the
reasons why children of narcissistic
mothers will often be perfectionistic
in a misguided attempt to win their
mother's love
number five she often diverts the
conversation to focus on herself
have you ever found yourself trying to
communicate an issue or a problem to
your mother
and feel like she's just not listening
do you feel
unvalued in your family dynamic
narcissistic mothers will take control
and change the direction of the
conversation to focus on themselves
number six she lacks empathy because
they're so super focused on themselves
narcissistic mothers are unable to
sympathize with their children
it's likely that she'll not validate
your feelings as there's very little
room in her emotional consciousness for
her to do so
narcissists are self-centered and they
feel the entire world should revolve
around them
if they do something that upsets you
narcissists won't acknowledge their
mistakes or soothe your upset
because they believe they can do no
wrong number seven
she's unpredictable never quite know
where you stand with your mother
narcissists often wax and wane in terms
of their attention and availability
she may shower you with affection and
attention when she wants something from
you
and ignore you when she's doing okay
this is also known as
love bombing number eight she carries
grudges
does your mother hold a grudge based on
something that happened days months or
even years ago
with narcissistic mothers these tend to
last for a long time with no sign of it
being forgiven or forgotten anytime soon
this is because narcissistic mothers are
quick to develop a victim mentality
she's wired to manipulate others which
includes guilt-tripping you with your
past mistakes
get what she wants number nine she's
emotionally volatile
another key tick box when it comes to
looking at narcissism
is being volatile in nature mothers with
these characteristics have very low
self-esteem underneath their bluster
and will become teary desperate and
manipulative if they meet ongoing
resistance
and number 10 she will never want to let
you go
has your mother ever said something like
you can't leave me
or you need me all parents know their
kids will grow up and eventually leave
the nest
however narcissistic mothers may have a
harder time letting go
codependency in relationships is a
trademark of people suffering from
narcissistic personality disorder
so a narcissistic mother may hold on to
her child as long as possible
even into adulthood she will use every
tactic in the book to make them feel
dependent on her
did you relate to any of these signs let
us know in the comments below
remember that narcissistic traits can be
symptoms of a personality disorder
however that does not mean that
everybody who exhibits these signs
is a narcissist or that they may have a
personality disorder
if you feel like your mother may be a
narcissist please ensure you talk to
somebody you trust
as this can be a difficult thing to deal
with not just for you
but for your mother and those around her
as well if you found this video helpful
please like and share it with someone
who might benefit from it too
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thanks so much for watching and we'll
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