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- [Amanda] Hey, Psych2goers.
Have you ever wondered
why you are the way you are right now?
When we're a child,
our impressionable young minds are like sponges.
Have you ever had a kid around you
repeat what you said casually,
especially curse words you let slip accidentally?
This ability to learn goes deeper
than simply repeating curses though.
And whether or not we realize it,
these lessons shaped the entire rest of our lives.
Here are eight childhood lessons you should unlearn.
One, children shouldn't show their emotions.
As a child, have your parents ever told you,
"Just calm down" when you're throwing a tantrum?
Saying things like, "just calm down"
during tantrums might teach you
that your emotions are wrong.
If that's the case, you may bottle up your emotions
because you lack the skill to handle emotions healthily.
A good way to start changing
that is to talk about the emotions.
So you don't act them out in an unhealthy way.
Two, intelligence is measured by grades alone.
Do your parents care about your grades
more than anything else?
Einstein once said,
"If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it's stupid."
Some kids are really good at sports or at art or music.
Others have high emotional intelligence.
If that's the case, emphasizing grades alone
might damage their self-esteem.
Three, they can get whatever they want.
In life, we can't always get what we want.
That's something everyone needs to learn at some point.
And the younger we are when we learned
that lesson, the better.
Did your parents simply give you
whatever you asked for all the time when you were a child?
If so, it might be tough for you
to accept failure or rejection as an adult.
Or you should always try to fit in with other people.
Did your parents worry when you were struggling to fit in?
Kids are often under a great deal of pressure
to fit in or try to be popular.
Peer pressure is a common foe
as young people try to figure out their identities.
And it seems like fitting in with everyone else
is the only way to survive.
But the reality is not everyone's gonna like you.
That's life and that's okay.
Being unique is a good thing
because it's what makes you special.
And that's important in society.
Five, failure is the worst possible outcome.
How do you deal with failure?
Did your parents only look for A grades in your report?
Not doing something well enough
isn't the worst possible outcome.
Childhood is a time of growth and learning
and you should be free to explore things
you might enjoy or be good at.
Six, taking a break is unacceptable.
Did your parents keep your schedule jam packed
with so many activities and extracurriculars
that you never had time to slow down?
If they teach you that slowing down is bad,
you'll never learn to relax.
After all relaxation is a healthy part of life.
Seven, you should be punished for making small mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes.
We spill things,
we forget to do something, and so on, it happens.
Most adults face no repercussions
for spilling something or forgetting something though.
So why punish a kid for similar acts?
If you spill something or neglect
to do something intentionally, that's a different story.
But taking away privileges for making small mistakes
that were totally accidental
will only teach you to be afraid of making mistakes.
And eight, it's okay to judge people.
Are you so used to talking about other people?
Are you generally intolerant to other people?
If so, what do you think contributed to your behavior?
Do your parents gossip or pass judgment
about other people in your presence?
If so, you may have unconsciously picked up
on such behaviors in your childhood.
In the end, what you learn in your childhood
will serve you as the basis for your values and beliefs.
Do you agree with the points mentioned?
Have you been the recipient of such lessons
or seen them occur around you?
If so, let us on the comments below.
Also share this video with those
you think might benefit from it.
As always, thanks for watching.
(gentle music)