OH, FOLKS, MY NEXT GUEST IS A FORMER "THE DAILY SHOW"
CORRESPONDENT WHOSE NEW SERIES "PATRIOT ACT" IS NOW ON NETFLIX.
PLEASE WELCOME HASAN MINHAJ!
( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: YEAH!
>> HEY!
>> Stephen: YEAH!
>> LIVE, MAN!
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU.
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE LIVE SHOW, LIVE MIDTERM SHOW.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: DID YOU VOTE TODAY?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: WHERE IS YOUR STICKER.
>> SteSTICKER.
>> I DID ABSENTEE.
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T GET A STICKER FOR ABSENTEE.
>> THAT'S THE NEW DEMOCRACY, YOU GOT YOUR VACCINE STICKER.
YOU GOT YOUR SHOTS.
YOU DON'T DO ALCOHOL, RIGHT?
>> NO, I CAN'T DRINK ON CAMERA.
>> Stephen: I HAVE A LITTLE SPARKLING-- SPARKLING CIDER
RIGHT THERE.
>> THERE YOU GO.
INTERNET, YOU SEE THIS, APPLE CIDER.
>> Stephen: CHEERS, CHEERS.
THERE YOU GO.
>> THANK YOU.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: BIG-- YOU'RE YOUNG, RIGHT?
( LAUGHTER )
YOU LOOK FRESH.
>> SURE.
>> Stephen: YOU LOOK-- >> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: YOU LOOK YOUNG.
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
>> I'M 33 YEARS OLD.
>> Stephen: THAT'S YOUNG.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: THAT'S YOUNG.
I'M IN MY LATE 30s.
>> YEAH, OKAY.
>> Stephen: EXTREMELY LATE 30s.
I WAS TALKING EARLIER, IS VOTING BAE?
>> I WOULD SAY IT'S LIT.
>> Stephen: VOTING'S LIT?
SURE, IT'S LIT.
YOUNG PEOPLE-- >> ISN'T IT LIT?
I WOULD SAY IT'S LIT.
IT'S POPPING.
>> Stephen: SPEAK FOR ALL YOUNG PEOPLE, WILL YOU?
>> SURE.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU PREPARED?
>> HIT ME.
>> Stephen: BETO LOST.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: VERY POPULAR ALL ACROSS THE UNITED STATES.
>> RIGHT.
>> Stephen: REALLY MOTIVATE AID LOT OF YOUNG VOTERS?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: VOTER TURNOUT BETWEEN 18 AND 30 WAS NEW JERSEY
TEXAS.
SAD HE LOST?
>> I AM SAD THAT HE LOST.
BUT ACTUALLY IT ISN'T A PARTISAN THING.
I'M JUST EYE LOOKED AT THE ENDORSEMENTED.
HE HAD ALL OF BLACK EXCELLENCE BACKING HIM, BEYONCE, TRAVIS
SCOTT-- THAT'S WEIRD TO PUT TRAVIS NEXT TO-- TRAVIS SCOTT,
LeBRON JAMES.
LeBRON JAMES HAD A BETO HAT ON DURING A SAN ANTONIO SPURS GAME.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW CRAZY THAT IS?
THE GREATEST BASKETBALL PLAYER LIVING RIGHT NOW WAS WEARING A
SENATE RACE HAT IN SAN ANTONIO.
THAT'S AS BORING AS IT GETS.
AND HE STILL COULDN'T WIN.
>> Stephen: AND WILLIE NELSON.
>> YEAH!
THAT'S LIKE IF I GOT AN ENDORSEMENT FROM STEPHEN
COLBERT, JON STEWART, SETH MYERS, SAMANTHA BEE, JOHN
OLIVER, JAY LENO, AND THE GHOST OF JOHNNY CARSON, AND I STILL
GOT CANCELED.
( LAUGHTER )
TED CRUZ.
( LAUGHTER )
HOW MUCH JUICE THAT IS!
>> Stephen: WELL, YOU WILL NOT BE, BECAUSE THE SHOW IS GREAT.
"PATRIOT ACT," YOUR NEW SHOW.
>> THANK YOU
>> Stephen: IT DELVES INTO TOPICAL ISSUES.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: AS MANY OF US ALUMS OF "THE DAILY SHOW" DO.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: BUT YOURS IS UNIQUE.
YOU DON'T DO A LOT OF DONALD TRUMP PUP DON'T ACTUALLY TALK
ABOUT DONALD TRUMP.
>> NO.
>> Stephen: ISN'T IT, LIKE, THE SEVENTH AMENDMENT THAT
"DAILY SHOW"" ALUMS HAVE TO TALK ABOUT DONALD TRUMP.
>> I TREAT IT LIKE-- YOU KNOW THE CHARACTER IN ADDITION WANT
HARRY POTTER BOOK AND A LOT DON'T MENTION LORD VOLD MER.
BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE IN LATE NIGHT ARE SAYING WE HAVE TO SAY
THE "V" WORD.
FOR ME HE IS THE MAN WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED.
I KNOW HE EXISTS, BUT I DO NOT WANT TO GIVE HIM ATTENTION.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: NO FREE RIDES.
>> YEAH.
TOTALLY, YEAH.
>> Stephen: ON THE MINHAJ MACHINE.
>> SURE.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU CALL HIM?
>> D.J.T.
45.
>> Stephen: 45, OKAY.
>> SOMETIMES WHEN I WANT TO MESS AROUND WITH THE WRITERS, I GO,
MR. TWO TERMS."
AND THEY'RE LIKE, "NO!
AARRGGHH!" AND I'M LIKE MART NELLIES.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU FOCUS ON?
>> FUN STUFF, LIKE AFFIRMATIVE ACTION OR SAUDI ARABIA.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> IT'S REALLY -- >> Stephen: THAT'S A LAUGH A
MINUTE, SAUDI ARABIA.
>> REALLY, REALLY EXCITING STUFF, YEAH.
>> Stephen: DO YOU DO DOWN-BALLOT ISSUES LIKE-- ARE
YOU EXCITED ABOUT PEOPLE BEING RESTORED THEIR FRANCHISE IN
FLORIDA?
THOSE KINDS OF ISSUES.
>> SORT OF STUFF LIKE THAT-- WE DID A BIG THING ON-- YOU KNOW,
OBVIOUSLY, THERE ARE THE MAJOR LEAGUES WHICH ARE THE BIG SEXY
THINGS, LIKE THE BETOS.
AND I SAY THE DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE DOWN-BALLOT STUFF.
YOUR MODESTO NUTS.
YOUR MINOR LEAGUE ISSUE S.
>> Stephen: SO HOW MANY-- HOW MANY EPISODES ARE YOU DOING FOR
NETFLIX THIS SEASON?
>> WE ARE DOING ON OUR FIRST CYCLE SEVEN, BUT WE HAVE 32
EPISODES.
>> Stephen: SO, LIKE, SIX AND A HALF WEEKS.
>> WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO THEM STRAIGHT.
WE'RE GOING TO DO THEM IN BATCHES, WHICH WILL BE FUN.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> YEAH.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT ASSESSMENT GLEENS I DO 202 A
YEAR.
I WAS JUST CURIOUS HOW MANY-- >> OH!
OH, GOT TOKAY.
TO BE FAIR-- TO BE FAIR, STEPHEN, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE
SEEN THE SHOW, IT'S PRETEE IT'S PRETTY INCREDIBLE.
THERE'S NO DESK.
IT'S JUST ALL -- >> Stephen: NO DECK.
>> NO IT'S ALL SCREENS.
IT'S LIKE BEING AT A DRAKE CONCERT BUT YOU'RE LEARNING.
IT'S CRAZY.
IF YOU HAVE BEEN TO AN EDM CONCERT.
>> Stephen: I HAVE NEVER BEEN I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ONE.
>> AND YOU THOUGHT, WHAT IF I COULD LEARN IT TAX REFORM RIGHT
NOW.
>> Stephen: WHILE I WAS DROPPING MOLLIE.
>> TOTALLY.
THAT'S "PATRIOT ACT."
>> Stephen: TRUMP OBSESSED ABOUT IMMIGRATION.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: ESPECIALLY FEAR MONGERING ABOUT IMMIGRANTS.
YOU'RE A CHILD OF IMMIGRANTS.
SHOULD AMERICANS BE AFRAID OF IMMIGRANTS?
>> TOTALLY, YES, 100,000%, YES.
>> Stephen: SHOULD WHY WE BE AFRAID?
>> YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND, THERE ARE THE PEOPLE ON THE CARAVAN--
WE HAVE A WHATAP GOING.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE FRIENDS ON THE CARAVAN?
>> YEAH, TOTALLY.
>> Stephen: I GET THAT, I GET THAT.
>> IT'S A MELANIN D.M.
SITUATION.
WHAT'S GOING ON OVER THERE?
IT'S PRETTY CRAZY.
DO YOU WANT TO COME?
YEAH, WE SHOULD COME.
BUT FOR A LOT OF IMMIGRANTS, IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, THERE'S A
LOT OF FAMILIES, CHILDREN.
THEY'RE GOING-- THESE IMMIGRANT FAMILIES ARE GOING TO COME HERE.
THESE PARENTS ARE GOG HAVE HIGH EXPECTATIONS OF THEIR KIDS.
THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LIVE THE AMERICAN DREAM.
WHAT IF THEY GROW UP AND THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO DO MED, AND THEN DO
STAND MOVIE UP COMEDY FOR 14 YEARS, THEIR PARENTS CONTINUE TO
GET DISAPPOINTED AND THEY FINALLY GET A LATE-NIGHT SHOW,
AND OUT OF 37 LATE-NIGHT HOSTS THEY HAPPEN TO BE THE FIRST
LATE-NIGHT HOST WITH BROWN MELANIN.
IT WOULD BE CRAZY.
I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THE "F" WORD, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT.
IT WOULD BE NUTS.
SO OF COURSE PEOPLE SHOULD BE AFRAID OF IMMIGRANTS.
>> Stephen: BY "PEOPLE" YOU MEAN ME?
>> YEAH, WE'RE STEALING JOBS.
SLOWLY BUT SURELY.
"PATRIOT ACT" IS ON NETFLIX NOW.
HASAN MINHAJ EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK .