-Whoo-ee, I'm cute!
Ooh! [ Giggles ]
-Wait, you can talk? you don't sound like Yoda?
-[ As Yoda ] Oh! Sound like this, I should?
[ Normal voice ] Hey, come on, man, that's played out!
Baby Yoda's what's poppin' right now.
Hell, yeah!
♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ]
-You will get me a Coke Zero.
-We don't have any Coke Zero.
-You will get me a Coke Zero.
-George, we only have Diet Coke.
-I find your lack of Coke Zero disturbing.
"Star Wars."
-Right now, we want to bring out an item
which we have only one of.
-And this is pretty much the ultimate
"Star Wars" collectible. -By far.
-Jeff, why don't you bring out the item,
if you could? -Yeah. What do we got here?
-I'm gonna show you. -Now, Jeff, yeah,
what do we got here? -I'm gonna show you.
This is the actual Mark Hamill.
-Oh, man! [ Cheers and applause ]
-That is gorgeous. -The actual!
-That's beautiful! -The actual!
-Amazing. -Hell of an item.
-The actual! -Yes.
-Okay, now, can we re-wire it, please,
so I can go have my muffin?
I haven't had my muffin yet, Matt!
-It's not as easy as I presumed.
-What up, Matt?
-Hey, you kicked my wrench.
-Jerk face.
-Welcome, my brothers and sisters,
to the first ever galactic summit
for all black humans.
This started with one question --
where are all -- where the hell
are all the black people in space?
[ Laughter ]
For a while, I thought was me,
the only one, but now I see before me
all the black humans in the galaxy.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-♪ Give Jedi advice ♪
♪ Livin' La Vida Yoda ♪
♪ He won't tell you twice ♪
♪ Livin' La Vida Yoda ♪
♪ A swamp is where he lives ♪
♪ He looks like Abe Vigoda ♪
♪ He tells it like it is ♪
♪ Livin' La Vida Yoda ♪
Thank you.
-Shaquille O'Neal reading for Chewbacca.
-Uhh...
-A buddy of mine saw Kylo Ren take his shirt off
in the shower, and he said that Kylo Ren had an 8-pack.
That Kylo Ren was shredded. -What?
Your friend's a liar, man. Kylo Ren is a punk bitch.
That guy looks like he weighs 30 pounds soaking wet
underneath that little black dress.
[ Laughing ]
[ Gasping, choking ] -Tim? Tim?
-Oh, no, he's choking on food.
-[ Gasping ]
-I see what's in your mind.
And it...is...stupid!
-Dude, Matt straight up sucks.
[ Beeping ]
[ Laughter ]
-What the hell are we laughing at?
-I did bring my credit card.
Unfortunately, it was demagnetized
by the magnets I used to make my homemade 3PO suit.
-Couldn't you have made a plastic suit?
-C3PO was not plastic, Glenn.
-You are right, and I apologize.
-Baby Groot, do me a favor.
Keep my name out your little tree mouth
before I snap you like a twig!
[ Whoosh ]
[ Laughter ]
Awesome!
-Leslie Jones screen test.
-Captain, we have entered the Romulan neutral zone,
but our shields are at 12%.
-That's great, Leslie, but that's "Star Trek."
We're making a new "Star Wars."
-Mother [bleep], do you know how long it took...
-Hidden cameras were placed all over the ship,
and now one knows Randy is really Kylo Ren.
-Hey, guys, I'm Randy, the new intern.
Okay, Boomer.
Right? Okay, Boomer.
-Ha ha. All right.
-Are we honestly supposed to believe
that Jango Fett willingly worked hand-in-hand
with Sifo-Dyas and the Galactic Senate
to build a Clone Army on the planet of Kamino?
-I'm sorry. I get this all the time.
You know, certain kinds of people think that just because
I was in "Star Wars," I know everything about it.
-So you don't know the answer?
-Well, I begin by saying that Sifo-Dyas never worked
directly with Jango Fett, and it was Darth Tyranus
who selected the Mandalorian bounty hunter
after Sifo-Dyas' murder.
-Right, I forgot that, I forgot about that.
-Well, I guess you also forgot that Count Dooku
who later became Darth Tyranus murdered Sifo-Dyas
at the orders of Darth Sidious and then later presented
his lightsaber to General Grievous.
-[ Speaks gibberish ] -What is that?
[ Beep ] -Huh?
-What? -What?
-What up? -What's happening?
Guys, include me.
-Danny DeVito auditioning for BB-8.
[ Laughter ]
-Right?
-Everybody deserves a shot.
If I can be a small part of that change,
I will.
♪♪
Congratulations.
-I'm so happy right now.
-Maybe one of these days you'll be as good a pilot
as Kylo Ren. -Kylo Ren?
No, I want to fly like Luke Skywalker.
[ Gasping ]
-And then you'll die like him too.
Okay, Boomer?
[ Laughter ]
-♪ Star Wars ♪
[ Applause ]
♪♪