-Hi, guys. Welcome back to "Tonight Show: At Home Edition."
Thank you so much for being here.
Of course, I'm doing this show from home.
There are my girls right there. Hi, Winnie. Hi, Franny.
-Hi. -Hi.
Here are -- are the websites to check out,
redcross.org/statefarm.
Our neighbors at State Farm
are offering to match up to $200,000 for this week.
So please keep donating. That is awesome.
We love you, State Farm. Thank you for doing that.
That is so cool.
So please, give whatever you can.
They're going to match up to $200,000.
-Yay! -That's fantastic.
[ Thud ] -Oh, dear.
-Winnie, you okay?
Okay, we're back, because my camera operator
had to become a mom again and -- But everything's fine.
Everything's good. Winnie, you okay?
-Yeah. -Okay, good.
Franny, you okay? -Yeah.
-Oh, perfect. Hey, look at the camera and say hi.
-Hi. -The camera --
Winnie, you want to look at the camera and say hi?
-Hi. -There you go.
Just charming, charming.
Our guests tonight are Adam Sandler,
who is one of our favorites.
He's just always there for us and just comforting,
and always -- I just love the guy.
So he's on the show, and his charity is directrelief.org.
That is going straight to health workers, healthcare workers,
nurses, doctors, everyone who is out there on the front lines
fighting this pandemic for us.
We also have Jessica Alba, who is just giving a lot of money
to Baby2Baby through her company,
honest.com/donate.
So we'll be talking to Jessica, as well,
and going through maybe some makeup tutorials. We'll see.
Alright, I'm going to mute this really quick. Hold on.
And then let's go down -- -Get in to the security system.
-I'm going to mute this, guys. Okay?
-Okay. -Thanks.
Let's go down. Let's do a monologue.
Hey, pal.
Alright. Hey, Gary.
Guys, welcome, welcome, welcome
to "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition."
Yay! Okay.
Guys, right now, I'm reading jokes in my house
at a makeshift desk to total silence.
Actually, this is exactly how my parents pictured my career.
Let's get to some news.
Some experts are now suggesting
we wipe down our groceries with Clorox.
Americans are like, "I'm doing this to stay healthy,"
then realize they're wiping down a bag of Fuego Takis.
[ Chuckles ]
Have you ever had Takis, honey?
-Never. Never even heard of them.
-It's a new thing. Yeah, it's like a rolled-up tortilla thing.
-Oh. I'll try one.
-New York governor Andrew Cuomo --
-Whoo-hoo! -New York governor Andrew Cuomo
said New York City playgrounds will close.
Yep, it's going to be really tough for all the kids
and that weird old guy on roller skates.
I mean, where in the hell do you find a Walkman these days?
There he is.
The mayor of Los Angeles is now recommending
that all residents cover their faces in public,
and since it's L.A., you get to play that fun game,
protected from the coronavirus or botched nose job?
Or both.
The National Bobblehead Hall of Fame and Museum announced
that Dr. Fauci bobbleheads will be going on sale tomorrow.
Wow, that's incredible.
There's a National Bobblehead Hall of Fame and Museum?
You can actually a buy a Dr. Fauci bobblehead doll.
This bobblehead is a little different,
because whenever it hears a Trump press conference,
it slowly shakes its head back and forth.
I saw an article that suggested having an at-home dance party
as a way to get more exercise during the quarantine.
"That's a great idea," said
only people living on the top floor of their building.
A man in England ran a marathon in his backyard
to raise money for the National Health Service.
When he was done, he went back inside,
spent a few minutes with his family --
I'm going to do it again.
A man in England ran a marathon in his backyard
to raise money -- 'Cause it's pretty good.
A man in England ran a marathon in his backyard
to raise money for the National Health Service.
When he was done, he went back inside,
spent a few minutes with his family,
and then ran a second marathon.
[ Laughs ]
It's a good joke.
And finally, I saw that today is
National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day,
although right now, Americans' favorite PB&J
is Purell, Brawny, and Jack Daniels.
That's my monologue for you right there.
It's time for "Hashtags"!
[ Hisses ]
♪♪
Hey, guys. Now it's time for "Hashtags."
We asked you guys to hashtag a --
#QuarantineAMovie was the hashtag,
and my example was "Big Hero Six Feet Apart."
And you guys answered.
And thank you so much for playing the game along.
We were trending #2 in the country, so that was major.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Now I'd like to share some of my favorite hashtags
with you right now.
#QuarantineAMovie. Here we go.
HeatherOnAir said --
Gosh.
I can't grab -- Am I becoming that guy
that licks his fingers when he does that?
It's -- It's the jacket. -[ Laughing ]
-I put on a jacket because I'm tired of not dressing up.
And so I put on a jacket.
I have the patches.
And now I'm the guy that licks his fingers when he --
when he -- Ugh. Gosh.
Here we go.
HeatherOnAir says, "How to Lose Your Mind in 10 Days."
Pollygolightly says, "Honey, I Flunked the Kids."
[ Light laughter ]
Any home-schoolers out there know exactly...
-That's a good one. -...what that's talking about.
This is from -- @WatchMojo said, "A Star Is Bored."
[ Both chuckle ]
Come on. There's no such thing as being bored.
You can find something to do.
This one is from RiepTide1999.
He said, "Edward Washinghands."
This one is from tinagibala.
#QuarantineAMovie.
She said, "50 Shades of Gray Roots."
[ Laughing ]
This one's from hellofelicia14.
Hello, Felicia.
She says -- QuarantineAMovie --
Oh, it's a great classic -- "Spray Anything."
[ Imitates spraying ]
This one's from @SYFYWIRE.
It Says, "Avengers: Infinity Conference Calls,"
which we're all on all day long.
Oh, I thought this one was clever.
This one's from MsMann95.
She said, "Do Little."
"Dolittle."
She's got the brains.
This one's from @MargauxPolo4.
She put, "Frozen Pizza."
This one's from @Zaharako.
She put, "Good Will Hunting for Toilet Paper."
I like this one. It's from Caffeine748.
She put, "Gloves, Actually."
Actually, gloves.
This one's from SandyLeeTV.
Hi, Sandy Lee.
She put,
"The Devil Wears Sweatpants."
That's a good movie.
This one's from KevKellam.
"Stay at Home Alone."
These are #QuarantineAMovie if you're just tuning in.
This one's from @ThisGirlTweeets with extra E's.
She put, "Ferris Buehler's Year Off."
This one's from @Booktrovert.
She put, "Romy and Michele's Zoom Reunion."
[ Laughs ]
That is a movie that should be in the works.
This one is from KelownaSteve.
He put, "Don't Stand By Me."
We're getting to the end here. Leo7176865--
I mean, at this point, what's the point?
At this point, what's the point?
If you're saying all those numbers, that's silly. Okay.
This is leo7176861934119--
It's like pi.
Leo pi.
You know?
Alright, here we go. Leo says,
"My Best Friend's Wedding Got Canceled."
[ Laughs ]
Oh, you have to laugh, right? That's the whole point of this.
You have to laugh if you have a wedding canceled.
The last one -- Oh, everyone's saying this.
This from morageilson1.
She said, "Groundhog Day."
That is our "Hashtags."