Hey guys, in this video we are going to talk about the pros and cons of the friend zone.
The friend zone is actually not the worst place to be if you like someone, the
worst place to be is not in their life at all because and there's no chance at
all. So is there a chance to get out of the friend zone, yes, I've done other videos on
ways you can kind of do that but here are some other reasons why the
friend zone isn't all bad. So the first thing is that when you're friends with
the person that you're interested in then of course there's always a chance
that the friendship could change, and when you've been friends for a long time
you get to know that person, especially if you take away the romantic pressure.
So it's key, in this case, that you let go of any hope of actually being with that
person romantically, you just appreciate who they are and you're okay with being
their friend, which means that you talk about other people you're interested in
and you don't act like you're interested in that that person, your friend. What the
intention is is that you have this person in your life that you actually
enjoy the company of but you don't get to bone them, or if you're a girl you
don't get to have sex with a guy, anyway, but what can happen sometimes is that
your friendship builds and then at some point in time perhaps the other person,
the person that you're interested in, realizes what an amazing person you are
and just like in the movies finally decides that 'wait a minute, you are the
one', but the key is that you have to go on and have your own life because if
you're just waiting and hoping you're gonna act very differently than if you
just don't care if it ever goes there. And what will happen sometimes is that
the person that you're interested in will at some point in time go through a
tragedy in life and if you're the one that they call on then guess what, you
get to sort of take advantage of a vulnerable state, I mean I don't like to
say take advantage of because it sounds bad but it's actually good because if
you've earned that place in their life where they come to you
then let them know that, yeah, you're interested, and maybe it's gonna go
somewhere else, and up to you at that point in time if you decide you want to
pursue it or if you want to keep the friendship intact. So that's one one
reason why being in the friend zone is not a terrible thing. Here's another
reason. If you like that person then that person probably has friends who have
similar qualities and characteristics and values, and maybe she's, or he's, not
the one for you but one of their friends is so the benefit of being in the friend
zone is you get to expand your social circle potentially and potentially meet
the right person for you, not the person who you think is the
right one but the actual real right one that you might meet through that
friendship. So those are two reasons, and just a side note on this, is that out of
all the happy couples that I've interviewed over the years they didn't
start out tearing each other's clothes off, they actually started out as friends,
and it's a lot easier to do this when you work with a person or you're in the
same social clubs or you're the same church or religious organization or
somewhere where there's actually not a romantic pressure. So don't discount
having a friend that, yeah you maybe are attracted to but isn't really the going
to be the one for you because there's certainly the potential
that you're gonna meet someone through them that is the right person for you. So
don't let your ego get in the way of something that could be good for you.
So those are the pros. Of course the cons, obvious is that you spend time with this
person and you only like them more and you long for them constantly and take
yourself off the market, so to speak, and don't actually go out looking for
someone else, and if you are too interested in them they will feel it and
they will put the brakes on and not want to be around you at all so you could be
missing out on opportunities to meet other people who would be right for you.
So if you really don't think you could handle it being in the friend zone and
liking it then best to just part ways and carry on.
And, incidentally, I've set up some of my ex-boyfriends and even set up my
ex-husband. Don't get your ego in it, like just because you're not a match doesn't
mean that you can't be happy with somebody else. If you have any questions
let me know. Thanks for watching.