- Hello, I'm Jonathan Decker, the Movie Therapist,
and today, I wanna talk with you about fear
and the role that fear plays in our lives.
We very often look at fear as a big, fat negative.
Fear causes us to panic.
It causes us to do stupid things that we later regret.
Fear also causes us to clam up, right?
To just clam up and not make any moves
and not follow through with anything
because we're just too petrified to act.
And so oftentimes, we see fear as something to be overcome,
something to be avoided, something that is no good for us.
I would like to counter that with my personal experience
and the experience of freaking Batman
that fear can be awesome.
So, I wanna set up this moment for you.
The movie is "The Dark Knight Rises,"
and even if you're not a big fan of Batman,
you're gonna wanna stay tuned,
because I'm gonna tell you how to harness fear
to be a positive in your life,
to get you where you want to be.
(lively band music) (audience cheering)
(audience clapping, whistling)
So the moment, Bruce Wayne...
Who is Batman, spoiler alert.
Bruce Wayne had his back broken by the villain Bane,
who flew him around the world
and then lowered him into a prison pit,
where he was going to watch on satellite television
as the bridges to Gotham City get blown up
and as militant terrorists take over
and say, "We've got a nuke,
and we're gonna blow up the city
if the government sends in troops or aid."
So Bruce Wayne is sitting there watching
as the city starts to tear itself apart.
There's acts of terror.
People are starving to death,
there's rioting in the streets,
and the bad guys have basically taken over.
And he knows, if he could just get back there,
he could make a difference.
The problem is, he needs some intense chiropractic care,
which he receives, and now he has to climb out of the pit.
In the hundreds of years this pit's been around,
there's always a rope that you can use to climb,
to wrap around yourself in case you fall
and to climb partway out of the pit,
and then you've gotta jump from one ledge to another
and do all this stuff.
And time after time after time,
all the prisoners who've tried have failed,
over and over and over again.
The only one who has ever succeeded was a child.
So here's Bruce.
He's getting back in fighting shape.
He's ready to go back and save the city,
and we're gonna see what happens.
Getting in mad shape to get out of there.
- He says the leap to freedom is not about strength.
- (grunting) My body makes the jump.
- Survival is the spirit. The soul.
- "Survival is the spirit, the soul."
- My soul is as ready to escape as my body.
- Fear is why you fail.
- No, I'm not afraid.
(tense percussive music)
I'm angry.
- So he thinks anger is gonna propel him.
"If I have enough rage, I can get out of here."
And he says, "Fear is why you fail."
He's trying to plant a seed in him
for what's really going on,
but Bruce isn't listening.
And he's gonna do what everyone else has done.
He's gonna try the same tactics that he's done before.
This is not his first time trying to climb.
He just thinks, "Well, I'm mad enough now,
and I'm in good enough shape enough now, so I'll get out."
And...
(prisoners chanting) (frantic orchestral music)
(Bruce thuds, cries out)
Gosh.
And he remembers when he was a boy
and he fell into a well,
and his dad rappelled down and said,
"Bruce, why do we fall?"
And the answer is, "So we can learn to pick ourselves up."
(Bruce gasping, grunting)
- You do not fear death.
You think this makes you strong.
It makes you weak.
- Why?
- How can you move faster than possible,
fight longer than possible, without-
- "How can you fight longer than possible
without the most basic fear, the fear of death?"
"I do fear death," he says.
- I fear dying in here
while my city burns,
while there's no one there to save it.
- Then make the climb.
(Bruce chuckles incredulously)
- Doesn't see the way.
- How?
- [Prisoner] As the child did.
- "As the child did."
The one who got out.
- Without the rope. (low suspenseful music)
Then fear will find you again.
- "Without the rope.
Then fear will find you again."
Fear was what...
Well, you'll see.
So this time, he's actually packing-
- Ah, supplies for your journey?
Oh, that's wonderful. - "Supplies for your journey."
(prisoners chanting)
- What does that mean?
- "Rise."
- "I'm getting out now.
No to the rope."
(low dramatic music builds)
(prisoners chanting)
(low dramatic music rises)
Hans Zimmer crushing it with the score here.
(bats screeching)
Nice symbolism.
He hasn't been Batman for a while.
(low dramatic music intensifies)
(prisoners chanting loudly)
(prisoners quiet) (music drops off)
(prisoners cheering) (dark heroic theme music)
It's so awesome. (clears throat)
And he's free.
So you're watching at home.
Why was he able to get out this time
and not the time before,
or the other times before that you didn't see,
that he tried over and over and over again?
The old man says, "Fear is why you fail."
Says, "Make the climb."
"How?"
"As the child did, without the rope.
And then fear will find you again."
Fear can be a motivator.
Fear doesn't have to cause us to panic
or cause us to freeze.
It can help us to propel us forward.
If failure is not an option,
then you won't make excuses
and you will find a way to succeed.
Some years ago, my wife and I were looking
at coaching for our business.
We knew that we could get our business
where we wanted it to be,
and we could learn what we needed to learn
and apply it on our own,
but it would take us years to get there.
Or we could hire someone to train us,
to coach us, to hold us accountable,
to help us with our goals,
and to give us the tools that we needed
to make it happen faster.
The issue was,
it was an investment,
and it was an investment of money that we didn't have.
In fact, at that point in our lives,
I was donating plasma twice a week
because the extra $200 a month meant the difference
between our bills getting paid and us having enough food,
and not.
It was a big, scary thing.
We knew it was the right choice.
We trusted that it was.
But what would happen if we invested,
if we took out a loan that we had to pay back with interest,
and we weren't able to deliver?
Back was up against the wall.
There was no rope.
And instead of backing down
and saying, "We're not gonna do this,"
we did the terrifying thing.
We invested in the coaching.
And we made that money back in our first year,
and a lot more.
That decision triggered a cascade of dominoes
that has helped get us to where we are today.
Now, I wanna ask you something.
What role does fear play in your life?
Is it holding you back?
Is it warning you of things that you shouldn't be doing?
Because sometimes fear is a great thing.
It can be like, "No, that's not a good idea."
Right?
Like jumping off a cliff with a sheet for a parachute.
I would be afraid to do that.
That's because my brain would be saying, "Mnh-mnh.
Not a good idea."
But what if it's something
that you are really wanting to do,
something that you're really passionate about,
but you're afraid you're not good enough,
or you won't have the means to make it happen?
We all have things that we regret.
I want you to think back on your life.
Are there things that you wanted to do, but you didn't,
because you let fear stop you from doing them?
In high school, I wanted to do musical theater.
I loved to sing, I loved to dance, I loved to be on stage.
And I let my friends talk me out of it,
because they told me, "That's for sissies."
They said, "If you want a girlfriend, play sports."
So I played sports, and frankly, I was terrible,
and I hated it, and I wish that I was up there
singing and dancing and doing jazz hands.
And to this day,
I still regret that I didn't do musical theater
because I was afraid of what my friends would think
and I was afraid of what girls would think.
Later on, I found...
I had friends in musical theater,
and girls were super into them,
and I'm like, gah!
Too late!
Can't audition anymore.
There are other things.
I was afraid to be a husband.
I was afraid to be a father.
I wanted those things, but they terrified me.
I was afraid of starting a business with my wife.
And while all of these things have been trying
and taxing and difficult,
they are my greatest blessings,
and they are my greatest joys.
Not having the option of failure has ensured success.
We've had to get creative.
We've had to think on our feet.
We've had to look for other solutions.
We've had to do a million different things
to make our life work.
And even though it's difficult, it's worth it.
Fear can be your greatest ally.
So, this is the first of many "Movie Therapist" videos.
I hope you enjoyed this.
There's more coming.
For now, I wanna direct you to our video,
"Be BFFs With Stress."
It's a lot of Bs.
"Be BFFs With Stress,"
which you can find a link for right here.
If you have struggles with fear
and are looking for tips for how to overcome them,
share your questions below,
and we can all chime in and give our feedback.
This is a community we're trying to build here.
We want you to help each other, as well as us helping you.
And if you have tips for either overcoming fear
or harnessing the power of fear in your lives,
please sound off in the comments below.
If you enjoy what we're doing here at Mended Light,
please like, subscribe, share this along, spread this along.
(bell chimes) Who do you know?
I bet if you stopped and thought,
who do you know that could use this video?
Please share it with them today.
I'm Jonathan Decker,
licensed therapist and co-founder of Mended Light,
and I will see you next time.
(lively band music) (audience cheering)
(audience clapping, whistling)