Hey guys Mary Lee Johnson with Sasha Daygame for the 21 Convention and you just gave your
2014 speech. So you mix a lot of comedy in with your teaching, how does comedy help in
relationships both in actual relationships and in just approaching women?
Good question. I�d say the first part would be in relation to approaching girls. My talk
was basically about how to eradicate social fear and approach anxiety the dreaded you
see a girl and you freeze up and you say �oh my god. she�s gunna punch me in the face
and everybody�s gunna laugh at me.�
So, my approach is just to desensitize people to what other people think of them and to
shut down that ego, that little voice in your head that�s like �don�t� talk to her.�
So, I use comedy for that. I just have people go into socially awkward situations where
they�re being judged and to get through those situations. Get through it, just be
ok with it, not give two poops.
So, in that way, comedy is a big part of doing those silly, fun things to stop caring what
people think.
So, that�s question 1, and the other part is if you�re talking to a girl or in a relationship,
I�d say too much comedy is definitely a bad thing because then you come off as the
clown, the entertainer. That was me for a long time.
But, a little bit, certainly just for a girl to realize that you have a sense of humor,
that you�re a fun person is really important because she realizes that you can actually
take live with a grain of salt, that you can laugh about things.
Because if you�re a super serious dude, and you just can�t laugh about stuff, she�s
not going to want to be around you when shit really hits the fan because especially if
you�re looking for a long-term partner, you need someone who can deal with stuff.
What if he loses his job? What if she does?
What if somebody�s sick?
What if whatever comes up in life, you need to be able to have a sense of humor, it�s
just really important to know that a guy�s not going to freak out and break down. And
it�s great to laugh, girls love to laugh.
But, I think men confuse that with like being the hilarious freakin� clown trying to get
the girl as opposed to just being fun and playful during the relationship itself
So you have a kind of big personality and was it always that way or did you have to
kind of hone that?
That�s an interesting question too.
I think when I was younger, I definitely wasn�t an extrovert because again, I had no father
figure and I was kind of the nerdy kid and kids made fun of me, but I was funny and I
knew I was funny but I just wasn�t letting it out.
And at some point, when I just started to accept myself more, and this whole community
was really a huge part of that, I just started to stop caring what other people were thinking
and I just started putting me first and I just started thinking �you know what? I�m
having a good time, so I�m going to do what I want to do, I want to talk to that girl�
Well I want to do that, I don�t care want anybody, I don�t if she rejects me, I don�t
care if people don�t want me to do it.�
And so, in doing what I do best which is kind of talking to people and having fun, I really
came into who I was and just accepted myself and everything that comes with going out there
and being a social person, so it was really a slow journey, it took a long time to really
get to that point where I�m just like �ya, I�m kind of a dick, I�m funny, some people
like me, some people don�t.�
But just getting to that point of accepting who you are and just being cool with it, that�s
really powerful and it took a long time, but I think that�s a journey everybody has to
go through.
It doesn�t mean you have to be hilarious, but whatever it is you want to be whether
it be a great computer programmer, or an acrobat, or a more socially free person, or whatever,
anything that you want to strive to be, you can be but it�s just like you need to know
what that is and you need to work towards it.
For me, it was just a process of going on stage and telling a lot of jokes and coming
up to a lot of girls and doing my thing.
So, you and James Marshall are good friends, and you have radically different personalities
at least on the surface. Does that correlate to how you guys interact? How do two separate
people that are very strong in personalities in their beliefs, how do they come together?
Is that going to work in a relationship?
It works amazingly well actually. I think we get along better than anybody, we�ve
been friends for years and we�ve never really had like a huge fight or anything.
So, ya, I think they say opposites attract and that works in same-sex friendships as
well as relationships, right? Because I bring something to the table which is totally different
than what he knows and is used to and he�s brought stuff to the table that are totally
alien to me, and we�ve learned so much from each other and complemented each other and
actually taken the best characteristics of each other and taken them on board.
I always joke about this, but he�s become more crazy and outgoing and he�ll do silly
stuff and people will be like �you�re doing silly stuff? You�re James Marshall!
You�re Mr. Stoic, serious, seducer guy.�
And then I�ll actually sometimes be really fuckin� calm and present and just comfortable
and be like �oh, what�s up?� and I just calm right down and people will be like �oh,
what happened?� They�re used to me running around all the time, and I�ll just be like
�ya, what�s up?�
So, I think it�s great, and I think the more people that are different from you that
you can associate with and be friends with and have relationships with, that�s awesome
because you can experience so much and learn so much.
And who you are is always changing, that�s one thing I�ve learned like I always think
�I�m this guy. Oh, I�ve improved, I�m this Sasha. Now I�m this Sasha.� The truth
is it�s like that fine line of being exactly who you are, but then being open to changing
and becoming a better you all the time.
And I think James has been a huge part of that journey for me, it really has. And I
think the same goes for a lot of the other speakers and even you.
In your speech, you talked about embracing the awkward, why? Why do I want to embrace
the awkward?
Because awkwardness essentially just means it�s what other people are thinking about
you, right? You�re worried about awkwardness, you�re worried that other people are judging
you and is I think, in my opinion, the number 1 thing that will stop you from doing and
getting what you want out of life is just stopping yourself because my parents, or that
other girl, or the girl I�m going to talk to, or whoever is going to judge you and think
badly of you.
And you just have to get past that and say �I don�t care. I just don�t care what
people think. I want to make me happy.�
The truth is you are the only person who can ever make you happy. So, the only person you
should be listening to in terms what you should be doing or thinking is yourself.
And I think most people just get totally caught up in just trying to live by society�s rules
and living by your parents� or other and the worst part is just strangers, people they�ve
never met are just judging them and they�re like �no, I have to make these people happy.�
And I think that�s just setting yourself up for a life of toil and suffering, right?
Is living by other peoples� standards. So, ya, that�s the quickest way to get social
freedom. It�s just don�t care what other people think. Just get rid of it.
That�s it. Great idea. It�s great to embrace that and see other guys embracing that. So
if I want to hear more of your rants and more from you, do I go to the natural lifestyles?
No. That�s James Marshall�s company. How can you say that?! I created that guy! All
his stuff he learned from me�
No, you can go to Sashadaygame.com and also I�ve got an event called The 21 Convention,
it�s really great, oh no, wait, the direct dating summit, it�s a great event too. And
we focus on being an authentic man and going for what you want, so you can also check out
some of that at the DirectDatingSummit.com
Fantastic. This has been Mary Lee Johnson with Sasha Daygame at The 21 Convention 2014.
And look at those assets! What? Wait, what�s going on?