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thesmartlocal.com
in this episode we invited a
professional dating coach to via online
dating profiles
she'll be rating our online dating game
based on
photos
and profile description
maybe this will help me understand why
i'm single
hello i'm trisha i'm an image coach from
fleet image which is a sister company of
kai kai i'm a certified matchmaker as a
dating coach we work on their personal
brand so we help our clients on their
dating app profile they are grooming
their styling and as well as help them
with their communication skills i think
common mistake is basically for women
they tend to write on their dating app
profile i'm here for serious
relationship only so
these are a face that tend to scare
a lot of mail they probably get lesser
swipes and for guys it's basically just
very boring they can add profiles with
bad pictures and almost nothing no write
up at all hi i'm jess i'm 25 years old
and
relationship status single hi my name is
sangi and i'm 23 years old this year and
i am very single
hi i'm reina i'm 30 years old
and i am
hi i'm larry i'm 24 and i'm very single
honestly i don't use online dating apps
the only time i use them is when i go
for work trips don't tell my boss
i've tried online dating for three to
four years i've been trying online
dating for four years i have tried
online dating for about two years now
the platforms that i use i'm quite
expensive
i am on coffee meets bagel okay cupid
bumble and obviously tinder
i
predominantly use tinder because that's
the easiest i've heard of cnb but too
many beans i don't know have to collect
catch them all i don't know what pokemon
so i just stick with tinder when i came
to singapore i tried using coffee mixed
bagel
tinder of course and recently i've
installed okay cupid i use tinder
okay cupid what cmb
huh pinch bamboo
exhausting all my options
when i go overseas i i do get some
matches some of them are successful some
of them they ghost me there was one time
i was in the u.s
we were supposed to go to the movies and
then
reply
i mean if i am here there's a reason
because
they didn't work out i feel the reason
they don't work out is because i'm very
picky so most of the time right i'm
literally swiping i'm like huh how come
cannot match yeah then and then i
realized it's actually because i'm
swiping left all the time so out of like
15 people i will swipe
right on two people so as you can see
the probability rate is very low i ain't
complaining there's a lot of match that
i have but there's only a few people who
talk to me and i talk too lah it's very
hard to start a conversation after that
right how you go deeper no i mean
because it's online so i don't really
know how to do it i describe my matches
as like they are there but they are just
there
i wouldn't say it's bad but i also
wouldn't say it's good because if it's
good then
i think it's quite interesting because i
meet a lot of different people and most
of them ended up as friends so that's
great
no i don't know why it's like the only
reason i am on dating apps right is
because i have no time to go out to
social life i may have or may not have a
relationship from the app before because
honestly it's been a while and i cannot
really remember on the earlier days i
was using it for fun and all
but now like if you're asking for a
serious one that i really did it outside
and like lasted for long
none
no i don't have any success stories in
terms of online dating all my actors
have been friends of friends recently i
dated someone from tinder i think it it
was fun while it lasted two months later
things ended up which i'm not
complaining it was a good end
i am not somebody who is looking for a
relationship right now so the thing
before the relationship that's what i
know i'm a very hopeless romantic guy i
really like dream of this fairy tale
love story you know what you watch from
k drama the one you watch on like movies
and all right but it's just very hard to
find love i keep on trying and trying
and trying and i'm really looking
forward to find something serious even
though even though i know it's online
usually my agenda going on dating apps
is to look for friends something more
casual not really like casual dating or
anything like it's just get to know new
people that's all usually friendships
maybe relationships i'm not actively
looking for a serious relationship
because i think there's a lot of layers
to relationships i think fundamentally
i'm looking for friends who eventually
can find something out with me or just
connections in general
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so let me just go through on the tinder
app first i find
this is not that complimenting
this is also not as cool as you in
person let me break down on tinder first
there is absolutely not much of a right
tub so i only only stated my job school
which is video producer my bio is just a
rainbow flag what are the things that
you normally share with people when you
first fight them usually you will start
a conversation hey hey then like pause
your day in the sky then we'll start to
talk about like my job or what the
person is doing studying working
well the people that you meet uh tend to
want to look for a long term
relationship or just a short term
maybe because i'm not that
straightforward so i would we wouldn't
talk about relationships that
that quickly also having the angle on
dating app uh most of the time i will
ask my client what do you want to get
from this you want to make friends you
want to have casual hookups you know or
you really want to look for a long-term
relationship so by knowing what you are
there for you know how to write your
dating app profile okay so if you're
keeping it blank it is absolutely so
blank i really don't know what is this
person so if you have a lot of time to
go out on this endless dates that you
know you don't mind killing it to make
friends okay go ahead but there are
people who are really tired of keep
making a lot of friends their intention
is to find a real relationship the next
one
it is on the gather dating app i like
the ambiguity okay i i love it it seems
like you are very straightforward yet no
bs kind of person on it which is which
is quite sexy to me so i think
as usual i will remove the not so
complimenting picture of you here
i thought i look cool
do you really like this picture i really
like it
how is it like a nice moment like oh
yeah since you like photography or
video and you action in
in action doing this book and get a
friend to take you
uh a picture while you're doing it okay
i think it'll be quite sexy to see you
at work uh naked or no
i think it would be quite sexy to show
the portray that when you're passionate
about your work this is how you look
like so uh that could be one of the sexy
picture of you i thought the last photo
yeah i like this one
you know i'm gonna delete this after you
swipe right
so
yeah so
you can add that like you know something
fun about it yeah i will rate it pretty
good uh because i like your pictures uh
quite clear
and
the writing of your profile i will leave
it to you if you want to go for endless
blind dates that is meaningless then
leave it blank but if you do feel like
at some point i'm tired of meaningless
date then start putting something on it
okay got it
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i was looking at your tinder profile oh
my god photo wise okay i really like
this one
i really like that exactly you know like
show your features it's a very nice
clean uh picture but what i didn't like
is this one here the one
like you know it's like come take me
home another picture that i don't really
recommend is this one the one with your
both hands in the pockets having both
hands in the pocket is a very defensive
body language it will take me a while to
open up myself so try to portray the
part that i'm open i'm willing to share
you know so it's more like an open body
language i think picture wise yeah it's
this two picture that i would pick on
unfortunately i only see that i'm a one
seven one foot photographer and a
content creator and say hi let's see
what happens next what are the things
that you like to do oh i do love a lot
of things like i do dancing drawing
sometimes love playing games on land
games booking a solo on my pajamas so i
like you to go and think of something
that you really like and you would like
to do this with your partner i normally
would recommend my clients to put oh i'm
an amateur chef i love to cook for my
family and friends i'm looking for
someone who is daring enough to sum up
my food so you have this fun angle there
that i love to cook and you need to love
to eat if you do not like to eat do not
swipe me so this is how you scale down
you don't need to have a buffet of
people swiping you but whatever you need
you need the right people swiping you so
you get a higher matchability rate that
will be something they can touch on in
general i think it's a pretty good
profile so our curiosity right your very
first tech that you send out when you
get a match what will be your time it
depends how much they put on the profile
if there's nothing
much to talk about right i'll just say
hi with a waving hand or hello
um if there are like jokes or puns
around your bio i will say something
related to that a lot of my clients tend
to say hi like you how are you how's
your day you know this kind of i call
that the sop the standard operating
procedure i highly highly recommend you
not to be oh okay if you want someone to
reply you why not doing that okay hi how
are you how's your day these are close
ended questioning it is a good bad yes
no right so you cannot continue your
conversation much longer so what i
normally tell people that to use things
such as share with me tell me more you
know what did you do how did it happen
so this can allow them to share more on
the the conversation and you can pick up
keywords to ask the next question so it
helps your conversation to go a little
bit longer than just good bet i have a
question um because sometimes i think if
i do that would it be like too
overwhelming to the other party
no yeah you are creating uh open-ended
questioning and on top of that you are
diving into
something that this person really like
it's something that i'm passionate about
i love to share it yeah what's very
insightful thank you so much i'll try it
your your dating ad profile there's only
two pictures yes why
i don't use online dating apps how's
your luck on tinder
uh singapore no luck overseas i think i
think i put a bit more effort
like one line so when you travel
overseas you will add like one
additional line yeah i will install
first and then i will add like an
additional line first of all there is
absolutely
not much
of your written
you know profile a lot of times when i
have clients who really look for a
serious relationship and they have
absolutely nothing written imagine the
the woman and if this guy has no
information there he's so mysterious i
don't know if he's married he's here to
have fun or you know there'll be less
chances of serious women wanting to
swipe right to someone who has not
written a single thing on the dating app
profile the the second picture with the
beer huh you know it seems like a while
ago
it is a while ago it took quite some
time
so you're saying i can't fish
you don't want to disappoint the person
when you meet them guys who are age 23
okay i would highly recommend them not
put any photos that is less than two
years because 23 and 20 or 19 there's a
huge difference for guys they really
look different so try not to put
pictures that are way too old i mean you
are 30 okay five years max you can't put
older than five years because you look
like a boy boy there at least and with
your age and your picture right it
doesn't really match for me as a lady if
i'm closer to 30
maybe a late 20s lady they would be
looking for someone slightly mature
looking you know
i would portray a more mature looking
maybe have a casual shirt you know those
shirts that you need for a bit linen
kind
very sparse looking kind you know so you
can look and with a loafers and not
wearing sneakers anymore you know
because i'm entering into that mature
look it feels
sexier for the ladies i think you'll
probably have a lot more swipes if you
do add in uh something more personal you
know instead of the beer it's like okay
i see this guy i see beer
i'm trying to showcase that i appreciate
a good alcohol yes yeah yeah why not the
beer picture can stay you can add on
maybe a more adventurous part of you
more outdoorsy part of you i play hard
and i work hard too kind of guys i can
go extreme i do nature and i also go
party you need to make sure this person
feels safe enough to see you to meet you
the more pictures you have you're making
that person feel safe so pictures that
cannot be shown your face or your
features and all that uh normally you
get very little swipes because this
person will be like
is he out for
you know to have fun or try not to
book a lunch date or dinner date or a
drinking day perhaps go for a fun date
just to make yourself more memorable
unfortunately i need to give you needs
improvement
i understand yes because i think we
touch on the profile pictures and having
two pictures is not enough my minimum
standard is at least three pictures
close up full length and one fun picture
close up you know just to see your
features a full length to see your
your bmi do not
feel anything small if your bmi is not
that fantastic okay i believe there is a
bmi for somebody work on it i think you
will get a lot more swipes and good luck
thank you
like the fun angle on like what you
wrote about yourself
and the top too much right i would make
it in a fun way like i'm a natural
chatterbox you know this kind of manner
instead of like i normally talk too much
because there are really some guys they
went on dates and
the first thing they were turned off it
was because the lady was talking too
much so perhaps they might not even go
on dates with you when they start seeing
that you talk too much and things such
as impress me with a nice deeper place
that i've never been to but i love in
general the fun angle so having the ig
on it it's very personal to me i feel
like people putting ig is there to
collect friends or collect followers on
the auditing app so i find that a little
bit less genuine but it's entirely up to
you there are no hookups right uh it's
all what dating platform you are using
so i normally advise my client on dating
platform i feel that tinder is more on
the hook-up kind of platform so if you
really do not want hookups don't go for
tinder go for okc you know bumble
there's cnb these other apps that are
rather legit and there are really people
that are seriously looking for a
relationship for your photo choice uh i
love that you are portraying your smile
but i noticed that you have a few
pictures with you wearing rings on your
wedding
yes
so uh it looks like you are married
perhaps you want to change the side of
your ring and something that i'd like
you to add on more that is more fun
picture if you want to help yourself to
land a better conversation once you get
a match
it is basically on your fun pictures
because guys who are on dating app they
have issues meeting people if you allow
them to ask you a question based on your
fun pictures you help them to ask you
better questions so if you want to end
up talking to them in a fun way put more
fun pictures i would rate it pretty good
all i would change is probably you know
the pictures with your wedding ring
taken off and a lot more fun pictures
how long do you tend to text before you
go out on your date
fun fact i've not gone up with anyone
from attending it oh why i think it has
never reached a point or maybe because
um i'm the kind of person who needs to
get a little bit more comfortable i
don't really have a lot of time on my
hands to like socialize tens i'm on the
dating app so usually when people um
text me for a while i'm okay with like
maybe a month or so
you know or trying to figure out our
schedules it's okay but a lot of them
after maybe two three days they're like
oh let's go out you know and i'm just
here thinking like i am not comfortable
with you on text yet so i don't really
see myself going out as much that's why
i haven't gone out with anybody take
note of um texting for too long the
reason why you must see the frequency
and the time line here so if you text
every day and you text
for one to two months too much
information has been shared naturally
when you meet in person there's nothing
to share perhaps keep some suspense
don't talk for that long keep it to
maximum my time frame is one to two
weeks okay thanks trisha i will
definitely take all your pointers
to practice
and hopefully i
will get a date soon enough
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in general it was pretty good everyone
need to work on is having fun pictures
because it all seems like very posey and
very ordinary pictures so if you really
want to create more conversation after
getting a match uh it's basically based
on your fun pictures and
working on better write up so the only
person who has the best right help is
sanji
i would say the chances of landing
themselves a better
date will be higher is not about
if they will be guaranteed a date but i
guess the percentage of getting a better
date will be higher because you're
building not just your personality but
also how do you start chatting with
someone and getting them to talk more
with you
thank you for watching this episode if
you enjoyed it don't forget to like
share and subscribe if you need help on
your online dating profile click on the
link below and hit me up so stay tuned
on the next episode of
raiders
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