[West Side Story-esque music]
Man 1: [Bronx accent] Fellas, fellas!
- What is it, Slim?
Man 1: [pants loudly]
I heard the Sharks are messing with
Mr. Kapopulous's almond stand!
- [scoffs]
Mr. Kapopulous's almond stand?
That's on Second Avenue!
That's our turf!
- [sniffs]
Come on, fellas.
Let's take care of bidness.
♪ All: [chanting] We're walkin', ♪
♪ we're walkin', ♪
♪ we're snappin' and we're walkin'. ♪
♪ Ba-da-da-da! ♪
- Wait a minute!
Wait a minute.
- Hey, wait, what's wrong, Barry?
- I'll tell you what's wrong, Dingo.
Someone's not snappin'.
All: [gasps]
Slim: What?!
That's it, everybody, snap!
[rhythmic snapping]
- Oh, yeah, you got it.
Oh, very nice, very nice.
- Thank you, Barry.
- Rico!
- What, what, wha--?
- Why are you pretendin' to snap?
- Pfft, I'm prete-- I'm pretend--
you're p-- you're pretendin'.
I can't snap, 'kay, guys?
I can't snap, all right?
I, I dunno how, I just...
- But we're Jets.
It's what we do!
Slim: Yeah!
We snap.
Rico: Dingo--
- You took an oath.
- Dingo, come on, Dingo.
- A snappin' oith.
- Dingo, please, Dingo!
Guys, I got slippery fingers, that's all!
All right?
How ‘bout we do this, huh?
How ‘bout, uh, we, uh,
we snap our arms real hard like this?
♪ Ba-ba-da-da-ba-da-ba-- ♪
- No!
That just looks crazy.
- It's crazy.
- It's craazy.
- Guys.
[stammers] Whistling, eh?
I can whistle.
♪ [whistles tune] ♪
- Whistlin's for boyds.
- Yeah, it's fo' booyds.
Rico: Come on.
- You can't assert ya dominance
by whistling.
Dingo: No.
- Nor by pushin'--
- Barry.
- nor by punching--
- Bar-Barry!
- Snappin'!
Now that's intimidatin'!
- Barry, Barry, Barry, come on!
Barry, Barry!
Dingo, Dingo.
Come on, Dingo, Dingo!
Slim, Slim, come on!
Slim, Slim!
Guys, I'm intimidated!
All right?
Now what about this, huh?
How ‘bout, uh,
how ‘bout we clap?
That makes noise with our hands!
♪ Ba-ba-da-da-b-- ♪
- No!
Clappin's fo' seals.
- And craabths.
- I don't think crabs clap, Slim.
- Yeah, they do with one hand!
- Enough!
What else ya got?
- All righ'?
What about, uh...
[clicks tongue]
There you go.
[clicks tongue]
I can [clicks tongue]
- Nope, hate it.
Next.
♪ - Ba-ba-da-da! ♪
There we go, all right?
♪ Ba-ba-da-- ♪
Barry: Definitely not that.
- Wrong era.
- All right.
Fine, you know what?
[tapping]
There we go.
How ‘bout that, huh?
- Hey, that's pretty good.
- Yeah, but noow I can't do thaat.
- ENOUUUGH!
Snappin'.
There's just no other equivalent.
- Come on, Barry.
Others: ♪ We're eatin', we're eatin', ♪
♪ we're eatin', ♪
♪ we're eatin' ♪
♪ almonds! ♪
Dingo: Hey, Sharks!
Those better not be Mr. Kapopulous's almonds
you eatin'.
- And what if they are Mr. Kapopulous's almonds
we're eatin'?
You gotta problem with that?
- Oh, we gotta problem with that.
Come on, fellas!
Rico: Yeah.
- Let's snap.
- But not you, Rico.
Barry: Yeah.
Rico: Come on, guys.
Come on, get ‘em, get ‘em, believe!
You can do it, believe!
You can do it, come on!
Yeah, snap real hard!
Barry: Ohhhhh--
Rico: Oh!
Barry: --right in the beak!
Rico: Oh!
Barry: Okay, boys.
We just gotta snap faster.
Rico: Come on, guys!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[snapping quickly]
Barry: Uh!
Rico: Oh!
Barry: He did it again!
Dingo: My carpal tunnel's hittin'!
Rico: Guys!
♪ [whistles tune] ♪
- Hey, what's with this guy?
- I don't know,
but I'm allergic to booyds.
- I'm allergic to tap dancin',
I'm outta here!
Sharks: [shudder]
♪♪
Barry: [claps]
Dingo: Okay!
Rico: Ye'h. Ye'h.
Dingo: Wowie, tha-that's pretty impressive.
Slim: Yeah, how'd you do that?
- Well, guys.
I can, I can teach youse if you wants.
- Yeah.
Time for us to become the Jets 2.0.
- Yeah.
- Watch out, world!
Dingo: Okay.
Rico: All right, guys, so you start on your left...
[audience cheers and applauds]
- Anothe' day,
anothe' perfect sketch.
I'm still Jason!
- And I'm Joe!
Subscribe to learn more about me--
--if you want.
- Ya gonna want to, trust me.
Joe: Yeah!
- This guy's a class act.
- Aw, thanks, man.
- Even though he can't snap.
- Like, I really can't.
- He really can't.
- I can't.
- That's not just part of the sketch;
he can't.
Dalton: That's Joe in real life.
Jason: That's Joe in real life;
we conveniently used it on a sketch.
Joe: It's like, it's almost there,
it's almost there.
Jason: No.
♪♪