- Hey, I'm Cameron Dallas and I'm here
to spill the tea behind my tune, "Helpless."
(soft music)
I've drank so much tea in the last like, two weeks.
I was in New York for the first time
doing Broadway which is like, super random.
(upbeat music)
At the beginning of the song,
I've fallen in love with feeling helpless,
I know it's not healthy.
I got out of rehab and I was there,
it was my second time in rehab,
I was there for like 42 days, and it was my first time
in the studio back and me and my friend Emman,
who I co-wrote the song with, we were basically
talking about what we wanted to write
'cause me and my team were trying to find a song
that fit where I was at right now.
Because I made a lot of songs that were
in my addiction that didn't necessarily
make sense for me to put out right now.
While I was in my addiction, towards the end
when it started to get really bad,
I had like this weird draw to the darkness.
I don't know how to explain it,
but like, this feeling of being helpless.
I was so comfortable with feeling helpless,
that, and I was like drawn to it,
I became really comfortable with feeling that.
So, basically, what that means is I thought
that I was doomed to stoop down as far
as I could go with the rest of my life.
Everyday was like a big sigh for me,
and I was kind of just like,
"How much worse can my life get?"
And every time something bad happened I was like, "Yep."
And, I don't know, my life was kind of
on track to just keep going down
and I was waiting to get to the very bottom
of it but that never happened.
And being an addict, they talk about it,
you either end up in jail or dead.
So, every time I felt happy, I felt like I wasn't being
true to myself and I would check myself
and I felt like I was faking it, or anytime
something good happened in my life, I did something,
up and I became super comfortable with feeling like,
and yeah, I fell in love with feeling helpless.
I couldn't get myself out of the situation
and I was perfectly fine with it.
I think for me what it takes to get out of this situation
or feeling helpless or anything like that,
I think for me one of the biggest things was
surrounding myself with different people.
I was around people that always wanted to go out,
or they were always depressed,
or they were always sad, or something was always wrong.
I think that was a big thing for me.
Also, going to rehab, working on the problems
instead of running from them.
I've done so much therapy it's crazy.
IOP for three months, still seeing a therapist,
group therapy, art therapy, music therapy,
like anything that helped a lot.
Instead of running from my problems
and going out drinking, and fueling
that part of my addiction, I decided to just get help
and work out the problems that I was running from.
I know that it's hard, this cycle that I'm in,
is taking all my energy.
This is basically talking about the cycle of addiction,
waking up feeling like, feeling depressed,
not talking to anyone, going through the day,
starting to feel a little better and you are like,
"Oh, I'm going to go out tonight."
Then you go out, you do your thing, drink,
stay out until five in the morning, go in to bed.
I was basically in this cycle of addiction
that I couldn't get out of and it was taking all my energy.
I couldn't maintain relationships,
I couldn't even maintain myself.
Yeah, it was taking all my energy, I couldn't do anything.
Stuff that gives me good energy, my dog Bandit,
love him, my family, really that was a big one,
going back to Chino where I'm from
and surrounding myself with my family
and my best friends, that really helped settle me.
I did a lot of soul searching and praying.
Being out in the sun helps a lot.
Just doing activities outside of the house.
Making myself do things and not staying in my house,
that helps a lot.
I can see on my face in the mirror I'm not happy
and I'm gonna need some help.
When you are in your addiction, it's kind of like,
you know that your life is going to,
and like I said, you are just okay with it,
you're comfortable with it, and you're like,
"How, can it get?" and then it just keeps getting worse
and I had to make a decision in my life like,
"Do I want to continue down this path
or do I want to try and get better?"
That's kind of the point where I decided to look
at myself in the mirror, per say,
and make that decision like, "Do I want to continue,
up my life, or do I want to try and fix it?"
I decided to go get help.
I've been drinking too much, smoking all night,
messing with the wrong girls, nothing feels right.
Every time I go out, someone wants to pick a fight.
Spent all of my money, I guess my momma was right.
Super self explanatory.
I was drinking a lot, every night, every day.
I would wake up and Postmates a bottle of Hennessy
or a bottle of Jack and like, do my thing
and then I would fall asleep, wake up,
go out that same night, just trying to escape,
trying to feel better.
I started getting into fights, ya know,
I got arrested, spent all of my money.
I went broke.
My addiction drained everything that I worked for
and my mom was right, because she would tell me.
Some of the things that stuck out to me
while I was in rehab were things that I find myself
telling other people, it's progress not perfection.
And what that means to me is like,
every time, while I was in my addiction
I would be like, "Damn I need to try and get help."
I would try to get better and it wouldn't be
up to my standards or it wouldn't be perfect,
I would be really hard on myself
and I wouldn't take that progress that I made.
I wouldn't accept that and be happy that I made progress,
I would just like throw it out the window
and continue in my addiction.
And I found myself kind of repeating that
and letting other people know,
not just in rehabilitation, but just everything in life,
you know it's like, it's progress not perfection.
I feel like I've really stuck to that for a while now
and it's been doing some good for me.
I've had decent luck at hiding all this darkness inside me,
and I wish on every star one day I could stop.
I think I've had enough.
Basically this is like, I've had really good luck at hiding
all of the things that I've been doing,
all the bad that I was doing,
and like I made it pretty far without
letting people see that I was messing up.
And then I wish on every star that one day
I could stop, I think I had enough.
Like I said, when you're in your addiction,
you know you are in it, and you really wish you could stop,
but you just keep going and you're not really sure why.
I think I've had enough, that's that part where I decided
to look myself in the mirror and just get help.
If I could collaborate with anyone,
it would probably be Drake, or Sublime, or Chiodos.
Some songs that I have on repeat are,
"Numbers" by A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie and Roddy Ricch,
"Slow Down" with Skip Marley and HER.
I think I am lucky, I keep telling my girlfriend this
and it doesn't make sense, but I tell her,
"I'm very lucky." and she is like,
"What does that mean?" and then we'll start talking
and I'm like, "But I don't believe in luck."
I don't believe in luck but I'm very lucky,
whatever that means.