Hi guys!
Today we have a very special episode of TSL Plays
where we will be getting some of our colleagues
to play the game ‘We’re Not Really Strangers’.
Players will first play a round of scissors, paper, stone.
The winner gets to pick a card and read the question out loud.
Their partner will then have to bare all emotions
and answer them truthfully.
Scissors, paper, stone.
When you’re asked ‘how are you’,
how often do you answer truthfully?
Never.
- I think so too. - Right, same right.
You also always say never.
I will say ‘I’m fine’.
But you know like fine is fine.
But I will just murmur to myself.
Most of the time, I don’t say the full truth.
I will say maybe like 70%.
There’s always this 30% (of myself) that is trying to hide things.
Not because of the fact that I want to
be secretive and be like a spy.
But it’s more like I don’t want them to pry.
Imagine if you get a friend asking you,
“Eh how are you?”
and you talk about your problems
and your problems will spill to other people.
You know that kind of thing.
To me it’s easier to just sweep it under the rug.
No but I notice that of you also.
Because it’s like sometimes when we do projects together,
and we’re on set.
Your face is a different emotion
But when people ask you “Rainier are you okay?”
“ Ya ya ya.”
Then it goes back to like that cramped face.
And we’re all wondering “is he okay?”
“Is he fine?”
And people can tell that you’re not fine.
Ooh okay.
But it’s just that
I think in general, people don’t want to pry
and they respect the boundaries and privacy.
Because I’m also guilty of that.
And it’s more or like “Yeah I’m fine" but
then in my head it’s like-
Yeah exactly, exactly.
Okay “Finish the sentences”
“Strangers would describe me as _____.”
“Only I know that I am _____.”
Huh?
This is so hard.
Can I change to “I have”?
Sure.
Maybe that will be easier.
Change it to however you want.
Strangers would describe me as optimistic.
Only I know that I have my own struggles.
I tend to keep a lot of the problems I face, to myself.
I don’t like to burden other people with my problems.
Does that make sense?
I like to find the solutions to my problems
by myself, by my own time.
I guess that public job that we do-
Do I feel that there is a requirement
rr do I feel like there is a pressure for me
to always upkeep a positive and optimistic outlook.
Because I don’t want other people to feel sorry for me.
As in I don’t want people to sympathize for me.
You know what I mean?
Because I feel like my own problems are my own struggles.
And i always find that there is a way out.
My own solution
I can find a way out of my own struggles.
I think we are similar in the aspect
that we want to find the solution by ourselves.
But where we differ is when it comes to sharing struggles.
I’m a lot more open when it comes to talking about
how I am dealing with something
and it’s making me feel troubled.
I think that everybody is going through some sort of struggle.
Of course, of course.
By voicing it out, it would help to
encourage people to share and not feel so alone.
What would your younger self not believe about your life today?
Oh my god.
That is too real la.
I cannot leh.
I always say if I could turn back time
and tell my younger self
like if I just stand infront of her
she will be like "oh my god".
"I can't believe you turned out like this."
Because it's everything that I hoped for
and dreamt of but even better.
Because I was struggling a lot
when I was in secondary school
a lot of times I was suicidal.
So I wanted to,
you know, end things.
But then when I think about how far I have come
then I think like But then when I think about how far I have come
then I think like
if I could just I don't know send her a letter
and just be like "oh my god"
"Just hang on because"
"In a few years' time,"
"Your whole life will change"
"and you would be so glad you stuck around."
Then I want to hug her.
Are you going to cry?
- Can you not? - Hold my hand!
- But it's so true leh - Very happy that you stayed strong.
There's a quote right - But it's so true leh - Very happy that you stayed strong.
There's a quote right
Yes.
"You never know when it's going"
"to be the best day of your life."
"It could be tomorrow."
"You just have to wake up and get there."
Oh my god that is so true.
How are you really?
How are you really Miss Chow?
Well I want to say I'm really exhausted right now.
Okay fair explain.
And I feel my exhaustion
is beyond just a physical exhaustion.
Physically, I'm exhausted because
I got up at 3am and
I couldn't sleep a wink last night
I kept waking up every one hour
one and a half hours.
Because I was really anxious about
a shoot I had to attend at 4 in the morning.
What about mentally?
Mentally I feel like I have been juggling
way too many things for my own good.
And a lot of these things I'm juggling are
very stress inducing.
And when you combine everything
it's just a huge mess.
But right now,
my coping mechanism is to busy myself.
So I'm so busy.
And it helps with nothing!
But I'm ridiculously busy!
Sometimes I look at my schedule and I'm like
this is obviously not great
but I do it anyway.
I should probably find a better way around this.
Sis, I relate to you so much.
I don't know.
I am turning 30 this year.
So I'm kinda feeling a little bit like
lost.
As much as I say that
I have a good job, a good family
I have everything going for me I would say.
But I feel very lost.
It scares the hell out of me because
I am like the typical joker.
That kind of thing.
And I feel like I am about to lose myself.
And I became more reclused.
I would say it's not healthy being alone all the time.
But it's a thought that came to my mind yesterday.
I was like, I'm kinda tired.
I want to disappear for a while.
Trying to find myself la.
Maybe you can try the law of attraction.
I saw this TikTok.
It's like whatever energy you put out to the world
somehow the universe will conspire
to make it happen for you and return it back.
One million dollars.
What do you think I should know about myself
that perhaps I'm unaware of?
No!
I know you're gonna cry!
-I know you're gonna cry! - I'm not gonna cry!
Okay because I am a person
where I always observe.
But I don't go all the way
and reach out to people
and let them know how I feel.
What I have observed is that
I'm so proud of you
just from like a bystander point of view.
Even though we are not close friends
to the point where we will go and hang out
like several times a month.
It's very very nice to see
a good human being flourishing.
And that fact that you mentioned
if you ever reach success
you fear that you would turn out to be a person
you might not like that much.
I feel like you have already hit
a stage of success
and you have still stuck to your own values.
And you are still a very very kind-hearted person.
Like the way you treat
people you have known for years
and the way you treat someone
you've just met one minute ago is exactly the same.
I set that as an example for myself.
Why (do) you look so shocked?
Excuse me!
It's just very very nice to see.
So when I first met you on talent search,
my first impression is,
"Wah this guy good looking sia."
My my my competitor.
Really.
See.
This is why people are unaware
then you say (compliment) and they want to puke.
Hello!
Because obviously I would need to know
who are all these people up on talent search right?
So then I saw one of your videos.
The one that you did at home.
It's like-
"What's up guys!"
"What's up guys it's your homeboy Rai Rai."
"And welcome to the first episode of Culture Clash!"
Then I was like
Damn this guy is good.
Like you have more experience than I have you know.
I think what you are unaware of is like
your level of creativity is something
that a lot of people want to have.
Because in terms of not just creativity in video content
because that's part of your job.
But also in terms of your Instagram.
How you conceptualize a photo for a client post
or even for your own organic post.
And you have a very nice set of teeth.
I cannot see.
There's no mirror.
Now I'm self conscious.
But I think you have good vibes
that I think you are unaware of.
Because I feel like you are more critical of yourself
than-
that you don't take time to praise yourself.
Kinda understand that.
It's quite difficult for a guy
to say to another guy
"eh you're very handsome"
You know that kind of thing.
I got say to you what.
No but like.
Legit I was like
What the heck this guy.
How to win?
How to win if got this guy?!
What about me most surprised you?
That you are super sensible.
You're super practical
and you seem more mature in real life.
than I would say you put out on social media.
Does that make sense?
In real life you, you're very serious
and you're very thoughtful.
There's a lot of thoughts that go into your head.
And the decision that you make in life.
Sometimes I find myself
really quite in awe.
You seem like you've got your life together.
More so than I have you know what I mean.
You're always evolving I feel
into a different stage of life.
If you could prescribe me one thing to do
for the rest of this month,
what would it be and why?
Maybe every night before you go to bed
like when you lie down
think of one good thing that happened day.
Aw, I love that!
I think this is something that a lot of
people want to cultivate.
But then life is so fast paced that
they just overlook it.
It's true.
Gratitude will shift your perception by a lot.
Because when you go day by day
you only focus on the bad stuff
but actually there are so many great things that happen.
Even if it's something small
like oh today I'll treat myself to a bubble tea.
That makes life worth living eh.
Correct.
That was so helpful eh!
I will start doing that.
Give your partner a compliment
you don't think they hear enough.
So I think one compliment you don't hear enough of right,
is that I appreciate a lot that
you very often emphathize.
Even if it's a situation that you don't quite emphathize
You really trying and put yourself in my shoes
when I share things with you.
And I think that it's great that you do that for people.
Not just me.
Because you are providing a safe space
for people to actually share what's on their mind.
I want to cry.
Fauzi don't cry.
Why you wanna cry?
Thank you first of all.
I never do it for any benefit whatsoever.
It is really out of like helping something be better.
and helping someone get out of their problems
or situations or whatever it is.
Thanks.
Sorry.
This goes beyond golden boy.
No Renae!
I think you'll cry.
I think you'll definitely cry.
What's the most pain you've every been in that was not physical?
Oh I feel like I'm ready to hear this about your life.
Oh my god I haven't even started speaking.
Okay.
Oh are you-
Do you already have a story in your head?
Ya immediately.
Pain that I've ever felt that was physical is
that moment when I realised that my parents' marriage was
just gone la.
How old were you?
Are you okay?
Are you gonna-
Sorry.
It's okay.
Oh my god I'm so weak.
No you're not!
You are accessing a deep part of your emotions.
Do not say you are weak.
You are not a robot.
Oh my god.
I feel like that kind of pain right
because it was at a point where I was-
like I understood everything already.
I was 16.
It's so hard.
Because it's not something that I will talk to my friends.
I talked about it when it just happened
to my very close friend.
But after that
it's like
broken families are so normal that I just laugh it off.
You know.
And I think it's also because when it happened
a part of me felt that
I was to blamed.
like just a little.
Because my relationship with my mum
at that point wasn't the best.
So I felt that it also put their marriage on the rocks.
That kind of thing.
You cannot blame yourself.
But because of puberty la.
Oh okay.
I was very rebellious.
Or hor.
Ah Lian Brenda.
Ya sia.
That kind of pain right
is something that you cannot ever recover from.
And it will affect the way you see love and relationship.
Especially when you are like
you're at that age where you understand everything.
Then you see the process of it happening.
like from
how it triggered all the way till the end
when the papers are signed and all.
Thank you very much.
Do not blame yourself.
Imagine you as a mum.
You would not want your child to ever think that way.
I think
The worst pain that I felt was when I was 22.
It's the kind of feeling where
you feel like there is no point in living.
I still remember that day.
I lied down on the floor.
It was all dark.
I didn't want any lights.
I didn't want anybody.
I didn't want to see the world.
and I was just
in that state of mind where I am ready to die.
That main part of it is like
why must my heart go through this pain?
Why must I be in this state where
my eyes just naturally secrete
tons and tons of tears
but it doesn't even make me feel better.
There are individuals out there
who are meant to cross paths with you
but not meant to walk on the same path with you all the way.
It was just a really painful experience.
That very day, the reason why the pain was just
really immensely torturous
on my soul
was because it was the day where I gave up on myself.
Yeah that was then.
And I think it was because of that experience that
I made a point that I'm gonna
make sure that I live every single day to the fullest
and not be afraid of anything.
Just do ah.
If I fail then I fail.
Like if people make you angry.
People make you angry.
If people make you cry
then they make you cry la.
Like that's not the end.
And I wanted to make sure that I see the world also.
So I just go on travelling and doing all these amazing stuff.
Thank you for sharing.
No worries.
So how was the game?
So it actually does help you to understand
say your friends and your loved ones a little bit better.
Given that it is a turn by turn kind of thing
it makes it (the game) better because
as much as I want to be vulnerable
you also have to be vulnerable with me too
to participate in this game.
I feel like I also learnt a lot about your mental health journey.
Like you shared quite a bit with me
which I'm very thankful for you know.
So you know I was mentioning how
I would actually get this game to play with my friends right.
I think it's great because
not only can you learn more about your friends
I feel like you can-
you are able to listen to their stories
and give them a next level
kind of support system
and advice that you won't usually give on a daily basis.
Wah that's so amazing.
We stan support in this household.
We truly do.
Friendship is magic *inserts sparkle emoji*.
Bestie!
Go home and add Brenda Tan to my close friends list.
For people who are struggling
and for people who are coping with their own mental health right.
It may be scary,
but it's important nonetheless
for you to accept people who are reaching out
and for you to open to people who are reaching out.
Couldn't have put it better myself.
Thank you for watching this episode of TSL Plays.
Mental health is super important
so always keep yourself in check.
If you need to seek help,
or find out more about the mental health resources available.
The links are all in the description box down below.
Plus, do join us for an upcoming IG live
with a peer supporter and one of us from TSL.
And if you do actively participate
you may stand a chance to win attractive prizes!
More details to come on our TSL IG page.