- Today we test products for dragons.
- Let's talk about that.
(upbeat electronic music)
- Good Mythical Morning.
- You know, as human beings
we take a lot of things for granted.
Our mother's love.
Our dying planet.
How pain free it is to pull on a weenus.
But perhaps the thing that mankind takes most for granted
is our ability to buy whatever gizmo, gadget,
and doodad we want on Amazon,
and get it in just a couple of days.
That is sorcery!
- It's also not fair.
I mean, what about dragons?
- What about them?
- Where's their Amazon?
Who's their dragon Jeff Bezos?
- Yeah.
- They don't get one.
- Right. - That's the problem.
So today, we've created real products
that dragons definitely need in their real lives.
It's time for "As Never Seen On TV:
Dragon Products Edition".
- All right, we got some of the hottest dragon products
never before seen and we're gonna test them out today.
Remember, this is for you dragons.
- All right, let's see our first product.
- [Narrator] Have you ever felt left out of the party
because you don't eat human meat?
Ever wondered if you've lost the general respect
of your dragon peers?
Then you need Dragein Crispy Hum'n Tenders.
Just because you don't partake in eating human meat
doesn't mean you can't partake in friendship.
- Right, it's tough for dragons who are trying
to kick the meat habit.
- Right.
- 'Cause they wanna feel like they're eating the baby.
- Right, and hopefully that's what's inside there.
- All right, so--
- A baby.
(both laugh)
Okay.
(crew laughs)
Toddler sized.
- Dragons your mouths are watering right now.
- This is like a few months old size.
- But it really comes down to the taste.
Does it taste enough like a toddler
or like a little baby to replace?
Oh my gosh.
It's chewy.
- Now, as someone who's never had baby
I just have to sort of guess what it would taste like
and I've always thought that it would taste
you know a little like lamb.
(crew laughing)
- 53% less fat than a regular human baby.
That's a positive.
- Oh, this is--
- Vegetable protein, cornmeal, and whole grain.
- Do we have, at least, some dip?
Like maybe some baby food or human blood?
- Is there like a speaker in here that will emit
dying baby screams?
- You know, yeah. That's the thing 'cause you--
- Oh, that's bad.
- I think maybe that would be--
- It's good-- It'll be good for you guys.
- Yes, great for dragons.
We're not supposed to like it because we are humans.
If we liked it, it would just be weird,
but I'm sure dragons would love this.
- And for those Jewish dragons, totally kosher.
(Rhett laughs)
- Yes it is.
Okay well, let's see our next infomercial.
- [Narrator] There's no denying it.
Floss is terrible.
It's despicable, unpredictable, and don't even get us
started on how there is never enough for a normal dragon.
But, there's a new floss in town
that has none of the strife.
Introducing Fire Floss by Oral D.
Made for dragons by dragon enthusiasts.
- That's a frustrated dragon.
- Look at that - All right.
- Now this large and in charge
- Look at that.
Spearmint flavor.
63 feet.
- And you know what's going to happen
'cause we got some dragon teeth back here
that's in need of flossing.
- Okay, Link, here's what I am going to do.
So, the way--
- You might think it's weed wacker string but...
- It's not. - ...it's not, dragons.
- Now, of course... - It's exactly what you need.
- ...there's no like little mechanism here to cut it
because dragons got hot breath
and hot breath is enough to just--
Could you just stretch this out in front of me here, Link?
And I'll just--
- Is that what you want?
Now if we had actual--
Whoa! Oh, oh.
- It got in-- - Dang, man.
That could have gone in your eye.
- Yeah, I think, I got a little.
- And the chicken dropped which is even more important.
Did you blind yourself? - I'm okay.
It went right there.
Can you see it?
- Yeah, there's like a little burn mark right there.
That's why we don't have any actual dragons here.
Think about how much more you could've been burnt.
- I'm still good.
We're still good.
- We're still good.
- I can still see! - You still good?
- Yeah. - Hey, I'm still good.
- Okay, you wanna floss that chicken out?
- Now there's a little bit right there
that already fell out.
That's a whole leg and thigh quarter.
But there's the rest of a whole chicken up in here.
So I'm going to wrap this around.
- That's good.
I think that chicken got cooked
as he brought it into his mouth and breathed on it.
- Get up in there.
- Yup, there you go.
- That's part of it.
Oh, there's some more.
- There's some more leg really wedged up in there.
You got to get in there... - There's more over here.
- ...and just pull.
Pull down.
Thank you.
(crew laughing)
- And, you know, if for no other reason it's great to be
friends with dragons so that whatever comes out
when they floss, you can just eat it.
- Man, I would have never thought that dragon breath
would have so evenly cooked the chicken.
That's very unexpected.
- Oh and very tasty.
Hey, before we see this next product,
we do want to remind you that we released another
two man vlog over on the Rhett and Link channel
as we do every Saturday.
- Yeah, head over there to the Rhett and Link channel
and subscribe while you're there.
- All right, let's see our next product.
- [Narrator] The smell of any dragon's cave
should be vile, sulfurus and rotten.
But when fresh air blows in,
are your lovely odors forgotten?
Well, worry no more about those clean air smells
with the Lair De-Freshener by Blade.
The Lair De-Freshener has a new odor-blasting technology
with five disgusting plug-in scents.
The Lair De-Freshener.
Get yours today.
- That dragon is so expressive.
- I'll tell ya, yeah, just the acting work there.
I don't know.
- I'm having a really bad day.
- It kind of feels like if Chase were a dragon.
- Yeah - I don't know.
I just get those vibes.
- That somehow it's like Chase in there.
- Oh really? You don't say. - Maybe the dragon ate Chase
and got his acting ability.
- Well here it is.
Here's the plug-in.
Looks sort of like it might be a nice head of sorts.
But look at that.
Look at that, Link.
- Yeah, it's a big ol' plug
because big ol' wall outlets live in caves.
- Yeah, this is your standard dragon's lair outlet.
So, you're just going to find that.
- Just like it said dragons like their lairs stinky.
And sometimes there's a fresh breeze
and you gotta cure that.
- Okay, so I'm just going to work that in there.
Just insert.
- Now it's not going to work until we add the scents.
So, we got the Blade scent cartridge here
that I'm just gonna put up in there.
Okay, so it's in there.
Now it doesn't say what scent it is
so I guess we're just going to have to smell it and guess.
- It's just a matter of time before it pumps.
That's how these things work.
(oozing sound)
- Oh, there.
- It's more of a gleek action.
Wow, it's getting on the floor but I guess dragons
don't mind that.
- Oh. - Oh, okay.
- That does not smell good.
I'm getting dangerously close to this gleek.
Night gleek.
- What is that smell?
- Is it night gleek scent?
- [Crew Member] Close.
- Is that vomit?
- Is it night innards like
dragon slayer failure juice?
- I think we might need to work on, you know--
This is just a prototype.
I think we might need to work on the aromatic.
Is that the word?
You know it needs to be more of an aerosol.
At this point, there's just going to be a,
'cause I can see it right here,
there's a puddle of wetness on the ground.
- Yeah.
- [Crew Member] You guys have any last guesses?
- Spit?
- [Crew Member] These are all great guesses
but this is actually the
Decayed Knight and Charred Churro scent.
- Oh, yes.
- There's a charred churro in there?
- This is when he attacks Disney Land.
- So the knight was eating a churro
at the time of his death.
- Right, exactly. - Okay.
All right, We do have another one.
So, take that one out.
And let's see what we got here.
Oh, this is a green one.
- And now it's just another matter of time.
- Oh, gosh, there it is. - Oh, here we go.
(Link exclaims in disgust)
Okay, this one's--
whoa!
This one's strong.
- This one's like--
- That smells like when you drive by like the DOT working.
You know what I'm saying?
It's got sort of
like a decayed-- - Like burnt tar?
- Oh, gosh!
Do dragons eat their own poop?
(crew laughs)
- This is like sometimes when my dad would say,
"It's a dead polecat."
- What is it? What is it? Okay, we need to stop--
- [Crew Member] Sorry, your guess was a dragon
that eats its own poop? - Yes.
- [Crew Member] Okay It's actually--
Oh, go, go. - And mine's dead polecat.
Dead polecat.
- [Crew Member] It's Sulfuris Sunset, Whistling Dixie.
- Why is it whistling Dixie?
(crew laughing)
- [Crew Member] That's the polecat part.
- Yeah, right, okay.
- Oh, that is part of it.
Dragons, you going to love that scent
but get it the frick out of here.
- Yeah, let's escort this out
and let's see our next infomercial.
- [Narrator] Dragon tails.
You love yours.
I love mine.
But backing up with a tail can lead to a dangerous time.
Sometimes it feels like you're backing up blind.
Well, leave your tail troubles in your taillights.
With Wonder Tail.
When you can back up easy, life's breezy.
Call now!
- Okay, we've moved over here
for a little product demonstration.
Link, show them that tail.
- Hey, check it out.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- See, that's the problem.
- Whoa, whoa.
I can see it here and I can see that--
- Right, okay. I got you.
- Hold on. Look. Stand by.
I can demonstrate. Watch. Look.
I can see that my tail is getting close
but it's not hitting it.
- Okay, all right, here's what's going on.
Now the tail--
- Let go of my tail!
- Oh, no, the tail is not the product.
The tail is not the product.
The product is actually the backup camera that is situated
in this faux spike on the back.
But, of course, Link isn't an actual dragon
so we had to give him a tail.
Now we are going to set up.
- And then there's this screen here
so dragon can see what's happening behind.
- Right. So we're gonna set up a little scenario.
I'd like to bring in my fake shoppers, Nick and Chase.
So let's just say a human boy, like me,
and his friend, the dragon, are shopping
in a dragon China shop, like you do,
for a bunch of plates that are exactly the same.
But then all of a sudden we realize,
oh, it's closing time and a dragon can't be caught
in a dragon China shop after closing time,
so he's got to back his way out.
Hey, Mr. Dragon friend, we got to go.
You got to back your way out of the China shop.
We got to go. The exit's over this way.
- But I thought I wanted to purchase this one.
- We'll have to come back tomorrow.
- Oh, hi person, you're in my way.
Okay, I'm going to have to back up.
- You've only done a little bit of damage.
There you go.
- I'm coming back! I'm getting out of this shop!
- Okay, okay.
(plates crashing)
Okay, all right.
- Dude, you're in the way.
The shop's closing.
- I promise that this product is not defected.
This is user error.
- Okay, and then I'm gonna come back.
Coming back here, pretty good.
(plates crashing)
Okay.
- I don't know him.
(plates shattering)
- Sorry. - I don't know him.
- I'm not looking into the screen anymore.
- Okay, I don't know him.
- It's a bit discombobulating. (plates shattering)
(female gasps) (plate shatters)
- Hey, that was on you, right?
- You hit it.
(crew laughs)
- Okay. All right.
As you can see there are some plates
that weren't busted.
So this is effective at least to some degree.
Okay. All right, Link, you can come back.
Hey, great job.
- Well, it's harder than it seems.
(Rhett laughs)
- Apparently.
- The instinct is to turn and look at your tail.
- Hey, there's a lamp back there
that we really don't want to have broken.
Okay, there you have it.
You can't get any of these dragon products anywhere
because they're not actually available
because they're for dragons.
Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell.
- You know what time it is!
(plates shattering)
- Greetings, once again, mythical beasts.
I am Nick the Troll King and these are the fairies
of the Tennessee Renaissance Festival.
(fairies cheering)
- And it is time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
- Impressive.
- That is incredible.
Are you gonna go?
- Yeah man. If you got a harem like that, yeah.
(crew laughing)
- Click the top link to watch us taste test
dragon fruit snacks at Good Mythical More.
- And find out where the Wheel of Mythicallity is going--
Does that mess it up too?
Why is that messing up?
(pot clanking)
It's broke. What's happening?
What's happening?
- It's steaming but it's not closed.