Andy, you and I get along very well.
And I'm happy about that.
A lot of relationships are being tested in quarantine.
I asked my viewers to send some of their fights
that they're having with their significant others or anyone
they're in quarantine with.
It's a segment that I'm calling Quarantiffs.
This one is from Carey.
"Right now we're having a tiff over whether
or not I should definitely get a couple of alpacas
which I definitely should."
Yeah, I agree.
I am going to take Carey's side on this one.
[LAUGHTER]
All right.
Here's one from Nicole.
"My husband has been watching old golf on the Golf Channel,
golf from 1986.
Now I can handle golf, but I can't handle the 80s golf.
It was a bad time.
Bad pants, bad hair, painful looking shoes, bad footage.
All men were old and stayed old.
Yeah, well, 80s, it was a bad time.
Getting back, you can binge watch
old episodes of "Dynasty."
That'll get them.
That'll do
It this next one is from Erin.
"Got into it for hours with my girlfriend
about the order of colors in a rainbow.
She is using the song she learned in kindergarten.
I'm using facts.
So yeah, things are going great here.
We finally agreed to not discuss this further."
Two lesbians fighting over a rainbow
doesn't get much gayer than that.
Here's one from Deniece.
"Since I live alone my poor animals
are getting the short end of the stick.
My cat, Sophia, is very confused as to why
I am calling her Carole Baskin all of a sudden."
I'll be honest, I'm also confused why you're
calling your cat Carole Baskin.
All right.
This next one is from Sarah.
"My husband and I got into a three day
long fight about what we would do if we won the lottery.
I'm talking silent treatment and everything over a hypothetical
never-going-to-happen situation."
I don't want to take anything away from either of you.
But that is hilarious, actually.
That's when you know you've been inside too long.
Here's a new topic for you to discuss.
What will you eat before you fly to the moon?
Here's one from Pat.
Simply says, "Chewing pickles...
loud."
- Ugh.
Ugh.
No.
Sounds like a cry for help.
I don't have time to write, just please help.
"Chewing pickles, loud."
Uh-oh, my dogs are crying.
And then this is Ander, wrote, "We
fought over recycling a salt shaker with about one
ounce of salt left in it. #ItsNeverAboutTheSaltShaker."
No, it's not.
It's about pickles is what it is.
Thank you for sending those in.
Good luck to everybody.
If you and your quarantiner have a little tiff
tweet it with the hashtag #Quarantiff.