Canned food has come a long way since being initially created to transport and especially
preserve different foods in the early and mid-19th century.
Nowadays there are a wide variety of canned options, ranging from your normal vegetables
or soup, to the mildly odd such as canned bread and of course that enigma which is Spam,
to the highly, highly questionable.
(Such as, well, all the items featured on our list.)
Get ready to learn more than you ever wanted to know about the 10 strangest canned foods
you never knew existed.
Pork Brains
We’re starting off nice and strong here!
There are certainly a wide variety of slightly stranger “various meats” available in
canned form, such as elk, beaver, possum, and alligator, which are indeed pretty weird
in themselves, but specifically pork brains has got to be one of the most questionable
of the available canned “meats.”
(Are brains considered meat technically?)
Way back when big game meats were relied upon for a more common form of sustenance, it makes
at least a bit of sense to have a more distant history of preserved big game meats from deer,
bear, reindeer, and the like.
But brains?
How often are these used in regular, (heck, even gourmet?) cooking?
Maybe canning them is the smartest option, so they’ll last until the next person wants
them, (which we wager will be a while.)
The only thing we can think of to do with any animal's canned brains is to have people
try it for a dare, cook it into food to trick or prank your friends, or possibly for a very
dedicated Halloween party prop.
Plain old, hum-drum canned pork brains still don’t sound quite like your cup of tea?
How about we sweeten the idea by mentioning the brains come canned with “Milk Gravy”?
(Whatever that is.)
Still no?
We don’t blame you.
Brains do not belong in a can, let alone brains in milk.
What a combination to market to the world.
Rattlesnake
Keeping in theme with our previously discussed “more exotic meats” topic, rattlesnake
in particular is one that brings more than a few questions and concerns to mind.
Out of the realm of edible reptiles, the possibility of canned turtle makes some sense since turtle
soup is a thing that exists.
Additionally, for some reason, even alligator makes a little bit more sense than rattlesnake,
since in the south especially there are a few options of different cuts regularly made
available, such as steaks as well as frozen nuggets.
Snake meat makes us question if it’s really worth the trouble, difficulty, and danger
of it in the end.
Rattlesnakes in particular are a larger variety of snake, so maybe there is possibly enough
meat on them to be worth the harvest?
However, with mostly pure muscle, tough scales, and many dozens of tiny, razor-sharp bones
that makes up a rattlesnake’s skeleton, it seems like Mother Nature’s way of saying
“I don’t think you’re supposed to eat this.”
Yet, humanity went forth and replied, “hold my beer,” and thus rattlesnake meat preserved
in fine, tin can goodness is available on the market.
Will we never learn?
Surströmming
This being dubbed with the great honor and prestigious title of “The Stinkiest Food
in the World” should tell you everything you could possibly need to know about this
one.
It should also be enough to warn you to stay clear away from this canned “food.”
Originating in Sweden, surströmming involves whole, herring fish, (bones, guts, eyes, scales,
and all the nasty, grisly bits included.)
That doesn't sound too awful yet, right?
Well, these little fishes have been fermented in a fishy juice in their can for at least
six months.
It’s apparently the most rank and foul-smelling option available in the realm of odd canned
food, (or in the realm of just about any kind of food, perhaps only closely matched by a
durian fruit.)
In various videos found online where very brave people are in the situation to taste
(if they make it past the smell,) this, uh, “delicacy,” they report the taste as still
very foul but somehow not quite as bad as it smells.
It’s reported to have a briny, fishy, and mushy taste, as expected from half-rotted
fish.
Although it is lightly, lightly salted to supposedly "preserve" the fish.
I don’t think there’s enough salt in the world to help the reported vile stench that
is unleashed when you crack open this unassuming, bright yellow and red can.
(We just don’t want to even think about what someone’s breath must be like after
they sample this!)
We’ll stick to having, uh , fresher fish, thank you very much, and leave this extremely,
smelly canned fish for extreme dare videos.
Cheeseburger
You heard that right.
Not canned cheese, not canned bread, not canned beef, but a whole cheeseburger.
It’s perfectly common to buy ready-made cheeseburgers from fast food restaurants,
grocery store hot bars, and even convenience stores nowadays, but why on earth does it
need to exist in canned form specifically?
This particular brand of burger-in-a-can contains all the usual accoutrements and toppings expected
to be found in any common cheeseburger, including mustard, ketchup, pickles, and even bacon
added in some cans.
This sounds like an interesting concept; to make this very popular food easy to stack
and transport without any risk of squishing the bun and ingredients, unlike the potential
damage found in your average paper wrappers and flimsy cardboard boxes.
Although how desperate does one have to be to need an indestructibly-contained whole
cheeseburger with them anyway?
According to various photos and video reviews featuring the sad, greasy-looking sandwich
however, it looks like it has already been squashed.
And maybe been through a few other unmentionable things.
It also has a feature available to boil it in the can to cook and steam it up.
Mmm, nothing like a boiled, semi-resembling-a-burger meal!
We know all different kinds of burgers are popular, both in flavors and variety of presentation,
but we don’t think this version will necessarily take off anytime soon.
Whole Chicken
Yet another case of “why on earth would you possibly need an entire (fill in the blank)
to be canned?”
Yes, regular canned chicken exists, but it’s usually nice white meat that’s all cut up
and ready to eat, use for recipes, or to make chicken salad.
Having a whole chicken canned does not add any convenience whatsoever that canning can
typically provide other foods.
A fresh whole chicken is just as much work to clean, cook, and deal with the bones as
a supposedly “conveniently” canned one.
And did we mention that the tiny chicken body is preserved by being coated in a nice, tasty
layer of thick grease?
If you want to go through the trouble of preparing a very tiny whole poultry, we recommend to
skip the ooey-gooey, jelly and lard covered canned chicken and just get a fresh or even
frozen one.
Any version is better, really.
Even if the cans came huge with a large, family-sized entire chicken contained in it, it still wouldn't
be worth breaking the can opener out because of the awful preservation process.
Sure, we've experienced exotic meats on this list so far, but never one so common yet made
us exclaim "but why though," so much.
Haggis
Out of the very few people around the world that eat and enjoy this delightful…food,
they no doubt must like it best homemade or at least relatively fresh.
Haggis originates from Scotland and contains such lovely ingredients like: sheep’s heart,
liver, lungs, and stomach; onion, oatmeal, suet, and spices.
More than one (heck, more than three,) of those ingredients sound very unwelcoming to
a regular human’s diet.
For example, “suet”??
Isn't that bird food?
How desperate to eat haggis does one need to be to opt for it in the immediate form
that canning offers?
As unappealing as haggis is in the first place, regardless of how it comes, canning this literal
intestinal monstrosity does this dish zero favors, making it look as though it is really
something straight from a sheep’s stomach.
It can be dressed up with different versions and flavors all it wants, but haggis is still,
well, haggis in the end.
It takes a tough stomach to eat a stomach, and other organs, and we're convinced mixing
and canning the mish-mash of haggis does not improve this culture-specific food.
Cuitlacoche (Corn Smut)
So far we’ve seen odd.
We've seen a bit unusual.
We’ve experienced canned goods that are definitely a bit strange, questionable, and
out there.
But this canned food item is just plain gross.
There’s no other delicate way to put it.
Apart from the smell of the surströmming, it’s still just actual fish in the end.
Originating from Mexico, cuitlacoche, commonly known by the incredibly attractive name “corn
smut,” is corn mold.
Yes, corn mold.
Made on purpose.
To be harvested.
To be canned to eat.
Again, on purpose.
We can hear some of you now, pointing out mushrooms as kind of like mold we eat, but
no, they are a fungus.
Between “fungus,” sounding natural and scientific, and “mold,” sounding diseased
and dangerous, one must admit that “mold” seems like the biggest no-no in the whole
human consumption category.
How did this get discovered?
Who thought it would be delicious to taste?
Why does it come canned?
Who is the market for this mold anyway?
Those people who love the nastiest of blue cheese?
We’d rather not know too many more details about corn smut.
We shall certainly stick to canned corn kernels, hopefully, mold-free.
Powdered Horse Milk
This is just weird.
The other items on this list are indeed on the exotic side, yet are still viable, edible,
more-or-less food-like items.
And apparently there is a market for them.
Regular powdered milk is an extremely common canned good that has a rich and important
history.
There are quite probably other powered versions of animal milk, such as goat.
Sure, we’ll give you that.
Goat milk isn’t all too “out there.”
But where is the market for any horse milk?
Besides to feed foals and colts possibly?
Although the way this is packaged, in a fairly small can, with instructions written in this
way, makes it seem like it’s possible for human consumption.
After looking into it, we’re still not sure.
Anyone know what the particular target market is for this stuff?
If it was made to feed foals and colts, wouldn’t it be in a more industrial-sized can?
It's still a bit of an unexpected find to discover when scouring the web for the weirdest
canned food.
Well, for horses or humans, either way, fear not!
This particular brand’s cheery label proudly claims that it contains “100% Horse Milk--No
Ponies”!
Is horse milk better than pony milk?
Is there not a market for pony milk?
You’d think there would be, based on what we’ve included on this list so far.
Anyway, we certainly wouldn’t be surprised by much at this point.
Escargot
Sometimes foods that come in cans can become slimy, chewy, or rubbery over time as a product
from the preservation process.
How about we offer a can that contains something that’s slimy, chewy, and rubbery before
it’s even canned?
The preservation and canning process can’t possibly make that any worse at least, right?
We’re guessing that’s not the case here.
Coming with or without shells, your preference, although, why does anyone want the shells?
Escargot (that’s right--SNAILS) are certainly an available canned food that exists in this
crazy world.
You have gotta be a real and true, hardcore French food fan if you find yourself reaching
for the delightful canned option of snails for your consumption.
If there was any appeal to escargot in the first place, we’re guessing that it’s
in the way it’s prepared, especially in the freshness that one comes to expect in
mollusk-involved meals.
At least this can's label boasts "satisfaction guaranteed!"
However much satisfaction you can gain from snails in a can.
Now you can have rubbery, preserved, gooey snails to nosh upon almost any time you want,
no trip to France needed!
Although we recommend saving your money for at least the real deal of fresh escargot.
Canned Tarantula
Out of all the canned, edible insects and bugs on the market, including such thrilling
culinary delights as: grasshoppers, crickets, silkworms, various larvae, insect eggs, beetles,
ants, scorpions, and many more, the salted and baked whole tarantula has got to take
the cake on this one.
Scorpion no doubt a very, very close second.
Or tied for first?
At least the makers of these delectable insects have the decency to add some tasty spices
and seasoning to their crunchy, cooked critters.
Offering such options as salted, smoky BBQ, and chocolate-covered.
Yum!
Unfortunately, not even a chocolate coating can save this literal monstrosity.
We think one of the worse parts, aside from the more than $15 price point, is that the
can comes with a whole tarantula.
As in, you could pop it out of the can, unwrap it from the plastic and remove the little
disconcerting dehydration packet, and have it look nearly like it does alive.
Hair, eyes, fangs, and all.
This is just plain horrifying!
Are they at least a little tasty, we wonder?
Maybe if they were cut up and cooked into something, not just appearing preserved in
time as they do.
It's hard to get past the mere idea of the whole endeavor, let alone the mere sight.
Let’s just all take a breath and go back to complaining about boring old canned asparagus
and never think about these strange, gross, and totally out there canned options again!
What’s the strangest canned food you have ever seen?
Let us know in the comments below!
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