• From thinking a lewd body part is a straw to trying to summon sugar fairies, the Planet
Dolan crew re-enact some of the best true stories from our subreddit about the funniest
things we’ve seen kids do.
I’m Nixxiom and today I’ll be your narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by Numbersgo Spincess
In second grade, Spincess’s crush, Tolop, had a crazy little sister.
One day, they took a field trip to the zoo, with Tolop bringing his little sister.
She was crazy and wouldn’t behave, so Spincess picked a flower and said, “If you behave,
I’ll give you a flower for your hair.”
Tolop told his little sister to sit down and behave, and Spincess was surprised that she
listened to him.
Spincess also had stickers and, in addition to the flower, gave Tolop’s little sister
a sticker that said, “Good job!”
The next thing she knew, the little girl was dry humping the bench and began shouting,
“Yeah, motherfucker!
I’m a good kid, bitch!”
Spincess started laughing, but Tolop was shocked.
Number 9 was submitted by Wing_679 Spinalpalm
When he was 16, Spinalpalm decided to go for a walk because of the warm weather.
After walking for a while, he saw a kid running around saying, “My brother masturbated to
porn!”
He said it over and over.
Spinalpalm dropped to the ground, laughing his ass off.
Needless to say, he laughed so hard that he needed a clean pair of underwear.
Number 8 was submitted by Epic711 Dean
Dean was in Wal-Mart one day, walking through the main aisle when, all of a sudden, a kid
next to him said, “Hey!
Look at me!”
He proceeded to pull down his pants, saying, “Look at my dang dick!”
Since Dean was standing next to the kid, customers thought that he was the kid’s big brother.
They started throwing stuff at him, telling him to make his little brother pull up his
pants and to teach him better.
Later, the kid’s mom came up and spanked him in front of everyone.
Afterwards, the employees started laughing.
One of them laughed so hard that she almost fainted.
Number 7 was submitted by CompletelyAbnormal Danger Dolan
One time, when Dolan was four and his sister, Ramona, was two, their dad was watching them
while they were in the bathtub.
Dolan was going through a phase where he wrapped anything he could find in some sort of towel,
blanket, or anything else.
He handed his dad something that was covered in bubbles from the bubble bath.
He said, “Here, daddy, here’s a present!”
His dad was kind of bored with the phase and said, “Oh, that’s great, kiddo,” but
didn’t open it.
Dolan insisted his dad open the present, so his dad blew off some of the bubbles and discovered
that the present he had received was a piece of poop that Ramona had left in the bath!
Their dad was so disgusted that he threw it in the toilet and flushed it, washing his
hands immediately afterward.
Dolan leaned over the toilet to watch the poop go down, saying, “Bye bye, poop!
Going into the sewers!”
Number 6 was submitted by Zhi1ou-C-Yip Gooby
The funniest thing Gooby ever saw a kid do was when she was in seventh grade.
She was sitting next to a kid in science class one day, where the teacher was talking about
straws.
When the teacher asked if anyone had any ideas on how straws work, the kid next to her stood
up.
He pulled out his “member” and said, “Here, I have my own straw!”
Everyone in the classroom laughed, and the kid was very embarrassed.
Number 5 was submitted by Laila-Chan Mimi
Mimi used to babysit for a family who had a little girl.
One day, while she was watching her, the little girl went to the bathroom.
But, after a few minutes, Mimi heard her shouting at the top of her lungs, “Sugar fairies!
Where are the sugar fairies?”
She went to see what the girl was doing and, when she opened the door, Mimi saw her sitting
in the bathtub, pouring a container of sugar over her head while holding a piece of toast.
She was shouting for the sugar fairies to come take her away.
Number 4 was submitted by Remimdae Legna
When Legna was a freshman in high school, one of his friends brought his younger brother
to school.
At first, everything was normal.
But, in the middle of class, his friend’s brother pulled down his pants and thought
it would be all right to take a piss on one of the desks.
The teacher was out of the room at the time, but when he came back, he blamed the kid who
was sitting at the desk that had piss all over it.
His friend’s younger brother didn’t even get into trouble.
Number 3 was submitted by Deathriser666 Froggy
The funniest thing Froggy ever saw a kid do was when she was 12 and her younger brother
was 6.
They were in the ladies’ room at Wal-Mart one day.
Froggy was washing her hands while her brother was in a stall.
Then, two women came in and suddenly began to laugh.
Froggy turned around and saw her brother.
He had his pants down and asked her to wipe his ass for him.
She didn’t know what to do, so she told him to go back in the stall while she went
to find their mother.
It was embarrassing for Froggy, but her brother seemed to block it from his memory.
Number 2 was submitted by StevenUniverseFanboy Captain
One time, when he was in fourth grade, Captain was at the barber shop with his brother and
stepfather.
He was looking around, since he left his phone at the house.
Then, Captain saw a toddler bury his face in his mother’s boobs.
It even looked as though he was enjoying it.
So, his mother spanked him and said not to do it.
When they left, they climbed into their car where the mother spanked her son again.
To this day, Captain and his brother joke about it.
Number 1 – What was the funniest thing I ever
saw a
kid do?