Hi.
Welcome to Full Frontal.
I'm Samantha Bee.
Last year around this time, experts
were urging everyone to cancel their usual Thanksgiving
plans because of COVID-19.
Which ironically gave us all something
to truly be thankful for, an ironclad excuse
not to visit our families.
But this year, we have good news and bad news.
The good news is that the pandemic is getting better.
The bad news?
Your ass is going home for the holidays.
I think if you're having a small gathering, a couple
of families indoors, everyone's vaccinated, the adults
certainly.
I honestly would feel pretty safe about that.
If you get vaccinated, and your family's vaccinated,
you can feel good about enjoying a typical Thanksgiving,
Christmas with your family and close friends.
God damn it.
And you know it's true if Fauci's saying it,
because that guy hates his family.
Why do you think he spent so much time going to the office
during the pandemic?
Unfortunately for those of us who loved having ourselves
an all-pie Thanksgiving alone, this year we
might be able to enjoy a relatively normal turkey day.
In terms of COVID, things are safer than they were last year.
Although of course, we should never
enjoy Thanksgiving too much.
Got to keep some of those birds alive to get
their freak on for next year.
The risk of being fully vaccinated in the US
and dying from COVID is less than 1 out of 100,000.
That means your risk of dying of COVID
is less than dying from electrocution.
Unless of course, that's your kink.
It's called Uncle Festering.
No judgment.
If it works for Joan Cusack, it should work for you.
But even if everyone at your Thanksgiving
has gotten the shot, it's probably still
a good idea to take some of the same precautions
you did last year.
If you have to travel, make sure that you're
wearing a mask.
Especially when you're enclosed spaces
around people whose vaccination status you're not aware of.
Serving dinner buffet style is now OK,
but keeping the windows open is still a good idea.
So is having rapid tests on hand.
And knowing the vaccination status of those on your guest
list can help you plan.
I think you have to weigh the risks and the benefits
in terms of what you do and how you do it.
Just like you have to weigh the risks of deep frying
your turkey and getting third degree burns on most
of your body, against the benefits of that turkey
being delicious.
You should also take further precautions
if any of your guests are immunocompromised,
or if they're young children who haven't received the vaccine.
I mean, for example, since children under five
aren't yet able to get vaccinated,
you might want to leave them in the car with the window
open a crack.
And before someone complains, yes I know.
You also need to leave them an iPad.
Jesus Christ, I'm not a monster.
But there are still things to be worried about.
Even if everyone is vaccinated, and your dinner
isn't ruined when the turkey's mourning family
shows up to pay their respects.
Oh shit, his mistress came too?
Now it'll be real awkward.
When his wife saw her, she was like [TURKEY NOISES]..
Look, traveling during a pandemic is risky.
But if you're one of the many Americans heading to states
where cases are rising, you'll need
to take further precautions.
Nearly half the country seeing new COVID cases soaring.
21 states reporting a surge in infections,
and rising hospitalizations in 17 states and territories.
Infections among the unvaccinated
continue to fuel this pandemic.
Now it's hitting the Midwest, particularly
Michigan, Illinois, Minnesota.
Parts of the West, you mentioned New Mexico and Colorado,
are being very hard hit.
There are even some areas in the Northeast where there's
been an upsurge in cases.
And I'm sure it's just a coincidence this is Eric
Clapton's exact tour schedule.
But it's not just the hot spots and Clapton concerts
where you need to be extra careful.
Much like the virus itself, science denying protests
have spread out all over the country.
Hundreds of public workers in New York City
protested vaccine mandates outside City Hall.
A California parent attacked a teacher over a mask dispute.
And planes are now full of passengers
ready to punch a flight attendant for freedom.
Flight attendants are reporting increasingly dangerous work
conditions, and the FAA has even issued more than $1 million
in fines to unruly airline passengers.
We are seeing unruly passenger events
at a rate of 60 times the normal number of events in a year.
In all, we found at least 2,600 passengers
who've been banned from commercial airlines for failure
to follow simple COVID rules.
The men were pulled off a Spirit flight,
and the struggle continued right in the middle of the airport.
We're told that two passengers refused
to comply with mask rules.
[INTERPOSING VOICES ARGUING]
[BLEEP] that shit.
Let's just say, if I were on any of those planes,
things would have gone down a little differently.
Because I would use every airline
employee as a human shield.
I'm only brave on television.
As stressful as holiday travel will be,
we do have a reason to celebrate a surprising twist
in pandemic year two.
Some anti-vaxxers actually are getting
the vaccine, due to social pressure and work mandates.
But not everything's changed.
They're still very stupid.
New reporting among anti-vaccine groups online.
Some of them turning to home remedies that will quote
unquote "de-vaccinate them."
In theory, letting them prove to their employers or whomever
that they got the shot without it being in their systems.
Cupping is a healing therapy used
in traditional Chinese medicine to help ease muscle pain.
Vaccine skeptics say the technique can be used to remove
the vaccine after injection.
Detox, detox, detox.
So if you've got a bathtub, you know someone's got a bathtub.
You add in one cup of Borax, you know that laundry detergent.
That'll take nanotechnology out of you.
Oh my God, do not listen to that TikTok woman.
You can't de-vaccinate people.
At best, Boraxing yourself will give you a chemical burn.
But at worst, you could turn into the Joker.
Even worse, it's the Jared Leto Joker.
To be clear, there is no way to detox from a vaccination.
And I can't believe I have to say this,
but it is not safe to cut holes in your body.
Or take baths in the same stuff they
use to unclog drains, clean toilets,
clear grout, wash floors, and--
Oh my God, Borax is useful for everything
but getting out vaccines.
Look, no one should advocate for anyone to do things that will
hurt themselves or anyone else.
But if what it takes for you to get your shot
is believing you can detox yourself afterwards,
then sir I raise my glass of bleach to you.
But for the rest of you non-bleach drinkers
who believed in science and have been vaxed all along,
it is my most sincere regret to wish
you a happy, semi-back to normal Thanksgiving this year.
Suck it up, stay safe, and maybe next year we'll get lucky
and be wiped out by an asteroid.
Honestly it would still be better
than hearing your creepy uncle say he likes the breast
meat in that tone again.
Especially when he shows up with his new fiancee,
the turkey mistress.
It was so fast.
We'll be right back.