Heya playa, have you ever asked someone out only to get the response back from them, "I'm
not really ready for a relationship". Ready? What does that mean? Do they like you? Do
they not like you? It's incredibly confusing but in this video, I'm going to break down
what that answer means, how to deal with it, and how to convince that person to eventually
date you. This is The Josh Speaks. You're watching The Josh Speaks. For those of you
that are new here, my name is Josh and every single week I make videos sharing tips, ideas,
and stories teaching you how to be your best self. So if you want to learn and grow, hit
the subscribe button and make sure to click on the notification bell. Now, look, if your
crush tells you they're not really ready for a relationship it probably means one of two
things. The first one being that they don't actually like you and they don't know how
to say that, the second one being they do like you but they're not sure if they can
handle a relationship right now. So how exactly can you tell which of those two reasons it
is? Well, if it's the first one and your crush doesn't like you. Chances are they don't want
to outright say that because they don't want to be mean so they'll skirt around the issue
by saying "listen I'm not really ready for a relationship" or "I don't want a boyfriend
or girlfriend right now". They're gonna kind of give you this soft rejection cause they
don't actually want to hurt your feelings. And if that's where they're coming from, a
good way to figure it out is by saying something like this "hey, I totally understand where
you're coming from, but I still want to take the time to get to know you. So, how about
the two of us hang out this weekend and really spend time learning about each other." Saying
something like that and trying to set up plans is gonna put them in a position where they
have to give you a more detailed answer. If they don't like you, they'll have to be more
straight up with you and respond by saying "yeah, I'm not really interested in hanging
out". That's gonna kind of be the key to let you know, not worth pursuing anymore. But
if there's another reason why they don't really want to date right now, they might still be
on board with spending time getting to know you. This is how you're going to figure out
where they stand on this really generic level. Now there are still deeper reasons why they
may not want to date right now and this is what you need to explore. Listen, we all have
our own thoughts and experiences when it comes to dating and for some people, taking that
leap and jumping into a relationship is a bigger step for others. In fact, they may
not want to get into a relationship because they just came out of a bad one, maybe they're
more focused on school and just what they wanna do in life, maybe they don't want to
jump into a relationship without getting to know you better, there's a lot of different
reasons that might be holding them back so, try to talk to that person more to explore
where they're coming from. Looking at those three reasons, there are simple ways to navigate
those responses. For example, if they told you they don't want to get into a relationship
because they just got out of one, the simple answer there is to give them time. Let them
see that you're willing to take time for them to get more comfortable with you so they can
learn more about you and see how you're different from the person they previously dated. Or
if they tell you they're too busy right now and not ready for a relationship, that's ok.
Instead, focus on dating them. Look, dates are a great way to relieve stress if you're
stuck with schoolwork, and afterschool projects and chores at home, going on a date and just
taking time to go bowling or go to the movies or just hang out and talk to someone is the
perfect way to unwind. And what if they tell you they just need to get to know you better
before they can commit to a relationship? Actually, that's the perfect type of response
you can get because what they're simply saying is they want to learn more about you. They
wanna see if the two of you guys fit before you put any label on anything which is a good
sign to look out for. Look, I know it feels good to put a label on things, to say that
this is my girlfriend or this is my boyfriend. Sometimes it's a lot easier to navigate through
than figuring out, what are we? Are we dating, are we seeing other people, do we like each
other? All of that is confusing and labels seem to make things simple but do your best
to not focus on labels. Putting a label on what you have with that person also creates
added stress that can make them feel like they should be performing at a certain level.
That they have certain responsibilities that maybe they're not ready for. So instead, forgo
labels and really just focus on dating and getting to know each other better. Now I know
what you're thinking if we don't really have a label, how do I know exactly where we stand?
Well, this is why it's more important to check in with them. To see how they're feeling about
the two of you. Do they feel like you guys are headed towards a relationship? Do they
enjoy just casually dating and not really putting a stamp on it and saying that things
are official? Talk to them about what they're feeling and share your own feelings too because
if you don't check-in and just assume things, yea you're going to get to a point where both
of you are not on the same page and things are going to fall apart. How exactly do you
check in with that person without it just being weird? Well, you might want to say something
like this "Hey, I feel like the two of us are getting a lot closer and I really enjoy
that! And I wanna know how you feel about us? Do you feel like we are heading towards
a relationship or do you really enjoy where we are right now which is casually dating?".
Obviously, take what I said and turn it into your own words but basically, the point of
it is simple. You let them know how you feel and you want to know how they feel. You don't
have to be weird about it because it's not a weird question to ask, especially if the
two of you are just casually dating right now. But here's the kicker that you need to
look out for if at the end of the day the two of you are not on the same page. They
just want to continue casually dating you and maybe even dating other people, just kind
of not really choosing one specific person and you want a relationship, you only want
to be with them, you have to be okay with letting them go. I know whoa, woo, stop, stop
that is not part of the plan. The whole point of this is not to get rid of them, it's actually
to be with them so how do I convince them otherwise? Well, at some point you just need
to be respectful of what other people want. If they truly don't want to be in a relationship
and they just want to casually date, and they make that intention clear then you need to
be okay with it. You can't ever force someone to think and feel the way you do. You need
to be understanding and respectful of where other people are coming from and what they
need right now in their lives. Just like they need to be respectful of what you need. So,
if what you need is a relationship with someone and that's not the person, it's okay to give
you and participate in what you want. I'm curious though, what do you think? If you
were casually dating your crush right now and they told you they didn't want to jump
into a relationship, would you be okay with just dating them? Would you try to convince
them to get into a relationship with you? Or would you be okay with walking away? Leave
your comments down below and we'll talk about it. I wanna give a huge shout out to my patrons
and YouTube channel members, these are the people that help the channel grow, so if you
want to learn how you can talk to me one on one every single month through video chat,
check out the link to Patreon for all the cool perks that are listed there. Now what
I want you to do is check out the video listed over there on the side where I break down
how to ask someone out after they just broke up with someone. Do you do it immediately?
Do you give them time? That video is gonna break down the details. On that note guys,
I'll catch you next time. As always, love and peace.