- What happen when you eat lactose?
- You don't want to know.
(woman giggling)
- Uncle Rodger bubble tea so good.
It's worth getting diarrhea for.
This video sponsored by Hello Fresh.
Niece and nephew,
Uncle Roger,
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And now we start video.
Hello Niece and Nephew,
it's Uncle Roger.
Today,
Uncle Roger getting a new job,
because I keep getting fired from all my previous jobs.
Salad?
No salad here,
but we've got trees behind you,
go eat the leaf.
Don't know why.
This time,
Uncle Roger gonna work at this
bubble tea shop in Stockholm, Sweden.
This is my new boss Shuyu.
How long have you been working at Machi Machi?
- Soon one year.
- One year?
Only one year?
- Yes.
- And you are my boss?
- Because it's only here one year.
- They're not doing well,
that's why Uncle Roger's here to help them out.
Tell the viewer,
what is Machi Machi.
- Machi machi,
is a bubble tea shop run from Taiwan.
So we make different kinds of tea.
- So boss Shuyu,
what do you want me to do here today?
- So you need first serving the customers,
and then you should also help in the kitchen.
- Okay.
Uncle Roger can do that.
- You should not be yelling to the customers.
- No yelling?!
Cannot.
- And not to recommend them to add
the MSG into the bubble tea.
- MSG make your bubble tea better.
- No.
(Shuyu laughing)
(door creaking)
- So here we are cooking the tapioca pearls.
- Oh you cook pearl in here?
- Yeah.
- Oh you use induction stove.
- Yes.
- Why cannot afford real stove?
No fire.
Niece and Nephew,
if you enjoy bubble tea,
this is the behind the scene.
See?
So not glamorous.
Uncle Roger worked around the kitchen,
and I found the worst thing ever,
Machi Machi have colander.
Haiyaaaa
Boss Shuyu,
why you use colander?
What is this for?
Is it for drying rice?
- No.
So uncle Roger
We have real fire.
- Oh this is real fire!
- So you should know,
this is for burning the creme brulee.
- Oh,
you let Uncle Roger make bubble tea?
- Yes.
I think you're gonna regret this decision.
So we just burn the sugar.
- Yes,
you brown the sugar.
- This is so satisfying.
This is what my ex-wife Auntie Helen do to my heart.
(static glitching)
(soft music)
(dinging)
(soft talking)
Haiyaaa
Uncle Roger heard you.
Boss Shuyu,
we gonna put this away
because this is super annoying.
Hello?
How you doing?
- I'm very good.
How are you?
- I'm good.
What you want at Uncle Roger bubble tea shop?
- I've never had bubble tea so...
- You never had bubble tea?
- What do you recommend? - How old are you?
- 29.
- 29?
never have bubble tea?
How does it feel to live through 29 year of depression?
- What do you recommend?
- What I recommend?
Haiya, just look at menu.
That star behind the stuff,
- Yeah.
- that is what we recommend.
No need to ask Uncle Roger stupid question.
Haiya, Uncle Roger cashier,
not your personal bubble tea consultant.
I hope you enjoy,
come back soon.
What you want?
- I want a brown sugar milk bubble tea,
but do you have it without the lactose?
- What wrong with lactose?
I'm lactose intolerant.
- You're lactose-intolerant?
Why? Why you so weak?
So weak,
just milk you cannot handle.
What happen when you eat lactose?
- You don't want to know.
- I don't want to know.
(woman laughing)
- Uncle Roger's bubble tea is so good,
it's worth getting diarrhea for.
(woman laughing)
How are you doing?
- I'm good how are you?
- I'm okay.
What you want?
- I think a cappuccino maybe.
- Cappuccino?
Cappuccino
Do you know where you are?
This is bubble tea shop.
- Oh.
We don't serve cappuccino.
You may have dementia.
You think this is Starbucks?
If you want a cappuccino go to Starbucks,
go to Joe and the Juice.
- Okay fair enough.
- No don't leave.
Haiya why you take so long?
You take three minutes for one drink.
- We're high quality.
- High quality?
No, you just lazy.
Creme brulee milk tea coming up.
Do you want extra po in your milk tea?
- Maybe.
- Okay yes.
Maybe mean yes.
- Upselling is Uncle Roger's favorite activity.
You want to buy milk tea?
I sell you a car.
- Can I have a pekoe green tea?
Jasmine green tea with...
- You can't remember your order,
you have to look at menu.
Haiyaaa
Okay. What you want?
- A Pekoe jasmine green tea.
- Pekoe jasmine green tea?
So you can't memorize four word?
You have to look at the menu.
So sad.
Young people all bad memories,
so sad.
Pekoe green tea.
Sorry what do you want again?
Uncle Roger forgot also,
shit.
How much ice you want?
- No ice.
No ice,
so smart.
Asian people,
we get bubble tea,
we don't get ice,
then we get more of the bubble tea.
Take the bubble tea home with you
you put your own ice,
you get two cup
So smart.
Uncle Roger like, save money.
What do you want?
- I don't know.
I heard about this place actually.
Is this Jay Chou's bubble tea shop?
- Is this Jay Chou bubble tea shop?
Haiya, Jay Chou is super big super...
Hey look at me when I'm talking to you.
Jay Chou is big superstar,
he no time to serve you.
This is not Jay Chou bubble tea shop.
This is Uncle Roger bubble tea shop.
- So he's not here then?
- Jay Chou,
I know you don't own this place,
but you are Uncle Roger's favorite singer.
Fantasy,
my favorite album.
Niece and Nephew,
if you don't know Jay Chou,
he is big superstar global icon.
He's the Uncle Roger of music.
One benefit to working at bubble tea shop,
is Uncle Roger get my own free bubble tea.
This is the new product that is matcha creme brulee red bean.
Such a catchy name.
No wonder nobody ever order this,
name too long.
(soft upbeat music)
It's good.
Red bean is Uncle Roger favorite dessert.
This is the correct red paste,
not Jamie Oliver chili jam.
Next,
hello hello what do you want?
- I have a question.
Is it vegan bubble tea?
- Is bubble tea vegan?
- Boss Shuyu,
is bubble tea vegan?
- No actually but we can make it vegan.
- Don't make it vegan.
You're spoiling them
You're sure you don't want Uncle Roger matcha red bean
long ass name milk tea?
- Can you make it vegan?
- Is this vegan?
- No.
- Oh yes we can.
This is the most vegan milk tea ever.
- I think I'll listen to the boss.
- Okay customer always right.
Uncle Roger only giving this to you
because I don't want to be fired.
- I feel special.
- You make Uncle Roger feel special also.
♪ You make me feel special ♪
You sure you don't want Uncle Roger matcha red bean tea?
- Okay I'll have that one.
- You gonna have this?
Okay okay great.
Boss Shuyu you see?
I not only upsell him,
I turn him into non vegan.
How are you doing?
- I'm good.
Do you have any lunch special suggestions for me?
- There's one shop down there
that serves very good egg fried rice.
I don't like fried rice.
- You don't like egg fried rice?
- I don't like rice.
- You don't like rice?
Haiya, Uncle Roger don't like you.
I think somebody need haircut.
Sweden,
not even in lockdown,
you can't go to barber shop?
Haiiyaaa
What is this?
You have mop on your head.
- I let my friend cut it.
- You let your friend cut it?
You need to stop being friend with him.
I think he want to make your uglier.
Oh is this what you want?
- Yes.
This is what Uncle Roger have.
But look at this,
the design so terrible.
We just took one photo and put three words on there.
No wonder nobody order this.
This look so bad.
The text not even the same color.
See this one back here?
This one,
they got professional to design.
You can tell difference,
this one by professional.
This one by my Boss Shuyu.
- Can I get it gluten free?
- Gluten-free?
Is bubble tea gluten-free?
- Yes.
- You sure?
- Yes.
- Okay everything gluten free.
Don't worry.
Even weak people can enjoy.
- Oh hello,
how are you doing?
So what you want here today?
- Actually yesterday I was here.
It was really bad.
- Really bad?
Yeah it didn't taste good.
- Because Uncle Roger not working yesterday.
You came in wrong day.
It's your own fault.
What you want to complain about?
Was the taste bad?
What else?
- I don't know.
It didn't taste enough.
Like no taste.
- No taste.
- I think you got COVID.
You can't taste anything anymore.
So yesterday the bubble tea don't taste good
because they forgot the most important ingredient.
The king of flavor MSG.
If you don't like this,
I give you your money back.
Okay try try
Haiya, take your face mask off first.
Haiiiyaaa
- It tastes really good.
- Yes.
See.
Machi-machi people,
you need a new item on your menu.
You need MSG creme brulee matcha red bean bubble tea.
So catchy this name.
Oh hello hello
- Hi.
- How are you doing?
- I'm doing pretty well.
- This guy dress like Kim Jong-Un.
This suit,
where you get that,
the North Korean shop?
What you want?
- I want to have the matcha milk tea please.
Matcha milk tea,
good choice.
How much sugar?
- Without sugar please.
- No sugar,
are you sure?
- Yeah.
- Matcha very bitter.
- The bitter the better.
- The bitter the better?
You have sad life.
What wrong with you?
Why you like bitter?
Who hurt you?
- Do you serve alcohol here?
- Alcohol?
- Yes.
- In bubble tea?
- Yes.
- That is good idea.
Boss Shuyu,
do we serve alcohol here at Machi Machi?
- No we don't have a license.
- No.
You don't need license.
Uncle Roger bought my own stash.
(laughing)
Oh this guy look at your shirt.
Oh my god.
- Hey how are you doing?
Good.
- I watch Uncle Roger Tiktok.
- Oh Tiktok.
- Yes Tiktok.
- I don't know why I'm big on Tiktok.
Tiktok full of underage girl dancing.
That is not Uncle Roger vibe,
I'm not pedo.
What about you?
You're wearing a shirt like that.
I think you are pedo.
Are you a pedo?
- No I turned 18 last week.
- Oh,
you turned 18 last week.
You cannot sleep with under age girl anymore,
you go to jail now.
You're 18 year old,
but you're dressed like 50 year old man
going on Safari.
Creme brulee okay,
no problem.
So you're buying Christmas gifts.
Show me.
- I bought a video game for my friend.
- Oh,
this is the best videogame ever.
It's Caravan Man Flipping Omelette.
Oh my God.
Thank you nephew.
Oh,
you're from Singapore?
- Yeah.
- Oh Malaysia's worst enemy.
- Now you see,
I born in Malaysia.
- You born in Malaysia,
and then you defected to worst country.
Asian people grow up in Asia.
The work ethic very good.
- Of course.
They come to Sweden,
everybody so lazy.
Haiiyaaa
The shops here all close at 4:30.
- It's my first time trying boba so...
- Oh it's your first time trying boba.
- I want to go basic.
- First time drinking bubble tea,
go with the classic.
Milk tea with tapioca,
otherwise you're fucked up.
First time drinking bubble tea
is like first time having sex.
You might not enjoy it at first,
but you drink it a few more times.
A ball go into your throat,
you don't know what to do with it,
but you drink it a few times and you start to enjoy it.
Brown sugar milk tea okay okay,
with tapioca.
- Yes please.
- And you?
- Same here.
Same.
Oh my God.
Classic couple.
I hope you get nice children one day.
- I will show them Uncle Roger videos from birth.
- Yes.
That's what you need to do.
Many parent put music for music
for their children to get smarter.
- I'd put Uncle Roger.
- And put MSG on your baby also.
Be better baby,
smarter.
Okay.
Niece and Nephew.
Here you go.
Couple who drink bubble tea together will stay together.
Hello.
Orange hoodie!
- Orange peaked.
- So nice.
Very nice you have good taste.
- You too.
I love it.
- Okay.
What do you want today?
- Could I get like a strawberry milk?
Along with panna cotta?
- Strawberry milk with panna cotta.
Okay no problem.
How much sugar?
- A lot of sugar.
- Just sugar.
Haiiyaaa
This girl like bubble tea and diabetes also.
Your life revolve around sugar.
Are you also looking for a sugar daddy?
- I have two.
- You have two?
- Yeah and maybe a third one.
- Oh!
- You want to join?
No Uncle Roger too poor.
I spend money on MSG.
I don't spend money on woman.
- That's a good choice actually.
MSG better than woman.
MSG don't pack up and leave.
Why do you want a sugar daddy?
Why can't you go get a job and get your own money?
- Why should I get a job when I'm wearing orange and yellow?
Why?
- Why that is not a reason.
- It's good taste!
Beautiful woman,
don't have to work.
- Good taste correct.
Beautiful I don't know.
- Wow.
(sighing)
Uncle Roger work all day today.
So tired now.
I served so many customers.
Bring you so much business.
How did I do?
What you think?
- I think you did a good job.
- Oh thank you.
Maybe not a hundred percent.
- What?
I was so nice to everyone.
What you mean?
You should not be like selling the alcohol to them.
- But they ask for alcohol,
and you say customer always right?
We have to listen to customer.
But it's a bubble tea shop here.
- What else can I improve?
- The upselling maybe.
- But upselling is good.
- You should not upsell the milk to the vegan people.
- Okay.
- Is there anything I did correct?
- You were insulting fewer people.
- Oh yes Uncle Roger didn't insult that many customers.
I insult my Boss Shuyu the most.
Because if you don't remember,
he poster is so shit.
Haiiiyaaa
Niece and Nephew.
Thank you so much for watching.
Subscribe to Uncle Roger channel,
and smack like button.
Like how you smack a bag of rice.
See you next week.
Bye bye.
- This is annoying actually.
- Can we remove this?
Yeah.
- Oh sorry.
(laughing)
Wait one second let me chew.
(laughing)
It's so awkward when people watch you chew.
Guess what?
My boss Shuyu is crushing the ice again.
(exclaiming)
I think Machi Machi
have the loudest ice crusher in the world.
You turn it on and it's...
(makes buzzing sounds)
(laughing)
Did you design this?
- Yeah.
(laughing)
You actually designed this!
(laughing)
I didn't know Kim Jong-Un drank bubble tea.
- Now you know.
I'm going to be mean to everybody
so please don't get offended yeah.
Oh wait you have to pay.
I forgot to take your payment.
Please come back.
(laughing)
Yeah you.
MSG make food better.
A woman just eat your food and leave.
Okay.
Last customer of the day for Uncle Roger.
- No way.
So lucky.
I feel blessed.
- No problem.
You guys better be funny,
otherwise...
So much passion.
Now you know how I feel all the time.