Welcome back viewers! Do you find yourself feeling short on confidence every now and then? What about
self doubt? Do you think that you don’t deserve long lasting love or that one day your partner
will inevitably leave you? You are not alone. Most of us tend to doubt ourselves on a regular
basis regarding personality, intelligence or looks. This is what feeling insecure
broadly means and can be traced back to past traumas, having a critical parent or a partner,
recent experiences with rejection or failure, social anxiety and loneliness.
Normally behaviors that are seen as confident actually hint towards self doubt and personal
insecurities. Sometimes you could be insecure of yourself and not know about it!
Let’s talk about the 8 signs you are insecure about yourself.
1. You are always the centre of attention:
Surprised? We normally associate individuals who love being the centre of attention as being
confident. However, people who seek attention or only feel good when they are the centre of
attention are insecure about themselves and in some cases may also have low self esteem.
This happens because deep down you may feel like your opinions and approval are not enough
and you need other people’s reassurance to truly believe that you are good enough.
This is just one sign to show that you have some insecurity issues. We understand that
it is a basic human thing to want to feel loved, accepted and approved for your actions
and thinking but you cannot take it too far, especially when it comes to seeking attention.
Have you ever come across an attention seeker? Let us know in the comments section
below about your experience with them! 2. You are a constant people pleaser:
Do you have the habit of always putting yourself last? Have you always let other
people decide where you want to go, what movie to watch or where to eat? This is a definite
sign of deep seated insecurities. It may start off with small things that may not seem like a
big deal until you are taking some major life changing decisions like buying a house, whether
to have kids or not or career opportunities. This behavior is a common thread among people
who are anxious or may have a long history of past traumas resulting in current insecurities.
People pleasers are also said to make bad life decisions when their insecurity gets in the way,
since they lack the ability to stand their ground. 3. You put others down:
This may come as a shock but if you’re insecure about yourself then you tend to belittle
others. This stems from a lack of confidence in you. Sure,you may say or do things that the
other person may not have the confidence to do, but that doesn’t mean you’re a secure person.
Although insecurity may not be the main reason behind putting other people down
a lot of people do make insensitive comments just to feed their ego. You need to recognize
this pattern of behavior and put an end to it. It’s toxic for you and the people you
care about. Sure your insecurities may make you feel inadequate but responding through insults
is problematic and very immature. 4. Bragging about yourself:
Showcasing your accomplishments is a clear sign of some deep insecurity you may be harboring.
If you constantly brag about yourself, your personality could be bordering on
an inferiority complex which has you setting very high and sometimes unreasonable standards.
A simple conversation with someone like this will encourage you to do something called a
‘humblebrag’ which is a subtle brag that seems like self deprecation.
When anyone feels inadequate they generally tend to overcompensate by aiming for superiority.
If you always find yourself complaining about the smallest things or keep subtly
putting yourself on a pedestal, then maybe it is time for you to do some self assessment.
5. You have a problem with your temper: Being short tempered may be indicative
of your insecurities. Reason being an angry response to someone could be a subconscious
way to divert attention from your flaws and scare the person away from prying.
It is understandable that you may be genuinely angry at yourself for all these deep seated
insecurities. It can feel like no matter how calm you try to be you’re unable to control
your anger issues. We suggest you try to get to know yourself better in order to sort out
these insecurities. Just a thought! 6. You are extremely defensive:
We all know that person who responds with anger if you don’t agree with their opinions.
If this sounds like you, then the cause may be your insecurities. Defensive people think that
their outwardly and sometimes aggressive approach will keep them safe from some
unwarranted outside ‘attack’. This is due to the fact that you subconsciously try to
shield yourself from your own competence, doubts and likeability. It’s usually pretty difficult
to acknowledge being defensive and later on in life it becomes extremely difficult to adjust.
Although you may feel that your reaction to the situation is rational being defensive is
always equated to insecurities. 7. You tend to joke too much:
Another telltale sign of personal insecurity is excessive joking. Have
you been referred to as the ‘class clown’ in your school? You should know that humor is a
coping mechanism used by individuals that are extremely insecure about people liking them.
Due to your humorous perspective on life, including all the sad moments, people love to
be around you as you help them cope with difficult situations. Sadly, not all humour is positive or
healthy. You may also use wit and banter to mask feelings of insecurity and aggression.
8. You tend to push people away: Have you had a history of troubled
relationships? Have you ever broken up with someone so that you don’t get dumped? The reason
can be trickled down to your insecurities that you may not consciously acknowledge
but affects your life on a subconscious level. Insecure people seem to always push people away
which can be a possible way of reassuring themselves by thinking less of the people
around them. Are you afraid of rejection and lack self confidence thinking your partners
will get wind of your flaws and leave you? Then you should know that the root cause of
this behavior lies in your insecure nature. To avoid this unsavory situation always remember to
communicate with your loved ones in detail and do not forget to love yourself first.
Looking to self assess your emotions? Check out our video where we talk about how childhood
emotional abuse affects you in adulthood. Now back to 8 signs you are insecure about yourself.
9. Constantly talking about yourself: If you’re one of those people who can’t
listen to anybody else’s problems without bringing up yourself,
people might assume you’re overconfident. But it also could mean that you’re actually insecure.
It might mean you’re obsessed with fixing yourself and over analyzing. If you’re always
bringing yourself up in a conversation, you might be looking for people to talk
about you because you don’t think your own opinions and approval are enough.
10. You lack empathy:
Have you ever tried to ignore a situation where empathy is needed? If you find yourself
unable to care about anybody else’s problems then you might have some insecurity issues!
People who are insecure always think that their flaws are more obvious than they actually are,
and they see the things they’ve done wrong as being far more severe than they are. So
they don’t really care about what other people are going through because they’re
convinced that they somehow have it worse. Although you tend to avoid empathetic scenarios
you will be more accepting and open to the idea if you have your loved ones encouraging you.
Have you given your past traumas and current insecurities a thought?
What was your coping mechanism? Comment below and let us help each other out!