The night is dark and stormy at the beach.
A crowd prays to the thunder in the skies.
All hail the god of chaos,
who sleeps no more.
Cthulhu, the great, green,
bringer of madness
rises!
A colossal shadow
emerges from the ocean.
Wielding tentacles,
wings and eyes that reach
deep into your soul
and your mind.
If Cthulhu, the terrifying demi-god
from classic literature, was here,
Cthulhu is the most
famous monster
created by the mind of H.P. Lovecraft,
the writer who popularized cosmic horror.
This nightmarish creature lived on Earth
long before humans.
And now it’s lurking
under the planet’s crust.
Watching.
Using telepathy to communicate
until one of us awakens it
with the help of an elaborate ritual.
Its mission?
To rule or destroy humanity.
Unless you were
a lone sailor lost in the sea,
you wouldn’t have much to worry about.
At least not for a while.
Cthulhu’s presence is so shocking
and incomprehensible
that merely seeing it
would make you overthink
your own existence
and realize how unimportant you were.
Cthulhu can break your mind
and make you go mad.
And you wouldn’t be alone.
For years, Cthulhu would
attract other wanderers.
It would lead lost souls to ancient temples,
where the cult of Cthulhu would be reborn.
And mind enchantment
would be nothing
compared to what comes next.
Because once enough people
were mind-trapped,
Cthulhu would awaken.
It would emerge somewhere
in the South Pacific.
That’s where the ancient stone city
where it sleeps is located.
Hungry to take over the world,
Cthulhu would move to
either Chile or New Zealand.
There, it would begin its rampage
and domination.
Your best bet to survive this atrocity
would be to shut your eyes
and run away.
Anyone who got a good look at it
would lose their sanity.
The world’s governments
would deploy robotic technology
to make first contact with Cthulhu.
But it would be useless.
Nothing would get in the way
of its destruction
and collection of followers.
So what could you do?
Well, in this chaos of chaos
you’d still have three options.
One,
accept your inability
to stop Cthulhu and join it.
Two, run.
Or try to.
Humanity’s only true escape would involve
leaving Earth in spaceships.
But we lack the technology
for such a worldwide breakout,
and time wouldn’t be on our side.
Plus, the monster’s
mind control would still call us to it.
Three, fight.
Join the resistance
and humanity’s last stand.
To avoid going mad
looking at the monster,
you would need to train
in blindfolded combat.
But our armies would also face off
with our new overlord’s foot soldiers.
A legion of shapeshifting aliens
created by Cthulhu
to lead its human followers.
We’d need to hurry
before the world became
overrun by these spawns.
Lucky for us,
humanity counters
with all kinds of weapons.
Submarines with torpedoes,
battleships,
fighter jets.
But unlucky for us,
the minds of those
controlling these weapons
could be taken by Cthulhu
to further wreak havoc
and destroy the Earth.
And after our first successful attack
on the creature,
we’d realize it was all for nothing.
Cthulhu would quickly recover
from any fallout of the attacks
and continue gathering followers.
Yeah, very unlucky indeed.
Sooner or later, we’d turn to the big boys.
Nuclear weapons.
What’s left of humanity
that isn’t brainwashed
would agree to
aim all of the nukes in our possession
at Cthulhu.
We’d blast it
with the power of three billion tons of TNT.
But that would also lead
to massive destruction.
Billions of people would die
and entire continents
would be made uninhabitable.
The survivors would be
packed into whatever land is left
and forced to deal
with the beginning
of a mortal nuclear winter.
The radioactive material
covering our planet
would ravage starving populations.
And yet, Cthulhu would remain standing.
Weakened, but alive.
The nukes would just buy us time
while Cthulhu recovered to one day
face a much weaker human race.
In the end,
you never stood a chance.
Phew! I’m sure glad this nightmare
lives in a book.
Now, giant squids, however,
surely lurk in the depths of our oceans.
But that’s a monster for another WHAT IF.