It's here- the zombie apocalypse at last.
Luckily, you've been keeping yourself informed and up-to-date on zombie threats and zombie
survival strategies because you're one smart cookie that subscribes to The Infographics
Show, so you're better prepared than most people.
Maybe there was a biological outbreak of a brain-infecting mold, or evil magicians have
summoned forth the walking dead to stalk the earth, or maybe it's just another episode
of The Mandalorian and now hordes of mindless Baby Yoda fans are trying to convince you
it's actually a good show- either way, thanks to your frequent viewing of our show you're
already prepared as we've already covered all these situations and more!
This time though we're not going to advise you to head for the hills as we usually do,
because this time it's a fight to the death.
It's you versus a thousand walking, shambling corpses, all hellbent on eating your brains
like space aliens from Zeti Reticuli.
How are you going to defeat the horde?!
Your battlefield for this fight will be the average American city, which means there'll
be plenty of resources at your disposal in your one-man war against the walking dead.
First though, we must know our enemy.
The zombie as we know it has its origins in Caribbean voodoo practices, with voodoo practitioners
claiming to have the power to create real life zombies.
Modern science has discovered that there might be some terrifying truth to this tale though.
In 1980, a researcher named Wade Davis discovered that voodoo practitioners would often powder
a neurotoxin found in pufferfish and other animals called tetrodotoxin.
The powder could severely impair brain function and leave an individual in a zombie-like state,
although it would require a very precise amount that many scientists were skeptical a voodoo
practitioner could accurately measure.
Too little and the effect would be incomplete, too much and it would be lethal.
One man at least is convinced of the validity of zombies, and that's Haitian Clairvius Narcisse.
He was declared dead only to return home 18 years later, very much not dead.
Researchers believe that narcisse was given a mixture of tetrodotoxin and bufotoxin, which
put him in a coma and made it appear as if he was dead.
His family thus buried him and after mourners left, voodoo witches known as Bokor returned
and dug him up, then put him to work on a sugar plantation as a mindless slave.
He was fed a constant diet of this powerful drug mixture, keeping him in a perpetual zombie
state until finally one day the owner of the plantation died and his drugging ended.
The zombies we're putting you up against though aren't drug-addled innocent victims- or maybe
the are, does it really matter?
They definitely want your brains, and right now the point of them being alive or dead
is pretty much moot.
A zombie's mindlessness can be its weakness, making it easy to outmaneuver and lure into
traps and ambushes- but it is also its strength.
And we mean that literally.
Some scientists believe that our brains regulate our own strength, so that we don't inadvertently
hurt ourselves by overexerting our muscles and perhaps doing things like ripping them
from the bone.
For a zombie though, there's no higher mental processes going on, so this lack of a 'regulator'
is believed to be the source of a zombie's incredible strength.
In other words, you're going to want to stay out of hand to hand combat with a zombie,
or it'll literally tear you to ribbons.
Luckily though most zombies are fairly slow, despite what some television shows would have
you believe.
That's simply because when the body dies it begins to decompose, and while the zombie
curse keeps the worst parts of decomposition at bay, much of the body still atrophies and
stiffens.
Imagine trying to run with two bad charlie horses- that's pretty much how impossible
it is for a zombie to move quickly.
What they lack for in mobility though they more than make up for in numbers, and today
you're going up against a whopping one thousand of them!
Before we teach you how to defend yourself, we need to talk zombie biology.
There's been much talk about how to permanently put a zombie down, and while the fabled head
shot seems to be the hands down favorite, we have serious problems with that.
First, hitting a moving target the size of a basketball isn't going to be easy, even
if it is slowly shambling along- there's a reason why police and military are taught
to aim center mass, and not go for cool Call of Duty headshots no scope!
That might be impressive in the digital world, but in the real world it's a great way to
get yourself killed.
The thing about a zombie is it still has a skeleton, and like any vertebrate animal it
very much needs that skeleton in order to stay upright.
The bones provide a foundation for the muscles to work with and keep you standing on two
feet, start removing or breaking bones and you very quickly collapse into a pile of zombie-bait,
only able to shuffle forward a few feet in a pathetic crawl.
For any zombie out there, this is also true.
Snap some femurs or break a zombie's back, and that zombie's going to drop faster than
terrible Star Wars films.
Break a zombie's neck and wish it good luck trying to bite you when it can't even keep
its head up.
So don't worry so much about headshots, instead keep to the tried and true tactic of aiming
center mass.
Alright, let's talk weapons.
First, you're going to want an option for close-in one-on-one kills.
The typical favorite here is the katana, because who doesn't want to be a badass apocalypse
street samurai?
Well, nobody who wants to stay alive, that's who.
Katanas may look awesome, but they are pretty terrible zombie weapons.
Firstly, you're probably using the katana wrong, you're not supposed to swing the blade
with all your might the way you would a European sword, you're actually supposed to flick your
wrist for killing strikes similar to fly fishing.
Secondly, katanas were made more for slashing strikes that could bleed an opponent to death,
and zombies are notoriously immune to bleeding to death by virtue of already being dead.
We hate to ruin your weebo fantasy of becoming a post-apocalyptic samurai master, but you're
going to want to stick with a good old axe instead of some fancy katana you'll likely
just end up slicing yourself up with.
Axes are solid, heavy, and can bring a combination of cutting and smashing force down on an opponent,
making them perfect for destroying zombie bodies.
Another good choice would be something similar to a medieval morningstar, which can deliver
terrifying amounts of crushing power in one blow.
Morningstars were actually the preferred weapon of conscript armies during the medieval ages
as they required no skill to wield and could devastate even knights in plate armor.
Remember, you're not going to be able to bleed a zombie to death, but if you smash bones
that zombie will be left a crawling mess you can easily step over in no time at all.
Alright, maces and axes are great, but as long as you can find ammo for it, little is
going to beat a Mossberg street sweeper for close quarters zombie combat.
You've probably seen it countless times in shows- the main character gets themselves
a shotgun and then saws the front of it off for the legendary sawed off shotgun.
Is there a more iconic post-apocalyptic weapon?!
Maybe the chainsaw, and even then only when wielded by a time traveling S-Mart clerk missing
a hand.
Here's the thing though, leave that barrel exactly where it's at, or at most, saw it
off a few inches.
You want your shotgun to be versatile, and still be able to peg a target at a moderate
range while providing massive firepower at close quarters.
If you saw the barrel off too short, the pellets in the shotgun round are going to spread far
too wide to do much good against a zombie.
Remember, you need to cause massive physical destruction to a zombie's body, not just shower
it with shotgun pellets.
Keeping a tight spread will deliver horrifying amounts of kinetic energy to a small area,
effectively turning your shotgun into a zombie disintegration cannon.
Now we're going to be looking at how to kill groups of zombies at a time.
Luckily for you, you're fighting in a modern city, which means one thing: there's plenty
of supplies to scavenge.
When it comes to taking out groups of zombies, nothing's better than a homemade grenade.
Except for, you know, a real grenade.
Anyway, the first thing you'll want to do is find yourself some fireworks, which may
or may not be that difficult depending on your local county regulations.
If you can't find fireworks then simple sparklers will do.
If fireworks are not legal in your county though then don't despair, because remember:
this is America.
Fireworks may be illegal in many places due to safety concerns, but bullets definitely
aren't.
So get yourself some bullets and simply ply them apart.
Whether using fireworks or bullets, what you're getting at is the powder inside.
That black stuff inside a bullet casing isn't pepper, it's gunpowder and what makes guns
work.
You'll want to get yourself a good amount of the stuff and set it aside.
Next, start collecting aerosol cans and tin foil.
You'll want to pack gunpowder into the curved bottom of an aerosol can and then use a piece
of string soaked with lighter fluid and run it from the gunpowder up the side of the can.
Use tin foil to keep the whole thing together, and you should be left with a tin-foil wrapped
aerosol can that has a fuse sticking out of it.
Now, simply light the fuse and run for your life, because homemade explosives are incredibly
unpredictable, which by the way is exactly why you should never try this at home.
If you can find a medical supply store though you can enhance your zombie-busting grenades
by including a small canister of liquid nitrogen in your packaging.
The explosive blast of the aerosol can bursting will spray liquid nitrogen in a large area
and slow down incoming zombies even more, giving you plenty of time to finish them off.
With your homemade grenades you can probably thin the crowd of zombies substantially, but
it's going to be a protracted hit and run war.
You'll be wanting to stick to the high ground because zombies are notoriously poor climbers,
and prepare ever bigger and better explosions because seriously, a thousand zombies is a
LOT of zombies to kill as just one man or woman.
To start taking out large groups of zombies you'll want to start getting creative, or
at least mobile.
It's time to pimp your zombie apocalypse ride, because the end of the world is here and we're
going riding one last time.
Pick a heavy duty truck of some kind, ideally something with four wheel drive and an extended
cab for vital supplies.
Then, you'll want to start affixing all kinds of pointy, sharp nasty bits to the front of
it- you can take lengths of pipe and shear the end off at an angle to make homemade spikes,
simply affix to the front of your deathmobile with the help of metal wire ties or a whole
lot of tape.
Maybe throw in some saw blades while you're at it, though you'll want them perpendicular
to the ground so they slice through zombies being run over by your zombie-killing death
wagon.
You'll need to protect the tires though, so we recommend you take the time to affix mud
flaps to each tire, only place them in front of the tire rather than behind.
That way any zombie getting run over will be forced down by the mud flap and hopefully
avoid puncturing your tire inadvertently.
Listen, this next part is easy- all you have to do is ride now.
Just take a cruise up and down your city's blocks mowing down zombies like it was going
out of style, because pretty soon it will be.
To make sure your vehicle doesn't get stuck in all the gore, just snap some cold weather
chains on to your tires to give you traction in even the slickest, most zombie-guts filled
streets.
At this point you just have to avoid getting jumped while going to and from your zombie
killing death wagon, because once you're inside that bad boy there's nothing the walking dead
can do to stop you from winning this epic matchup.
Now that you know how to defend yourself your next mission is to click this video right
here or this one over here!