- We are going to talk about verbal communication barriers,
and how they can jam up and otherwise helpful discussion.
We are especially focusing on group discussions
but this is applicable to almost all conversations.
And we're working out of Beebe and Masterson's book
on Communicating in Small Groups.
I'll put a link to their book in the description
below the video.
So let's get into those details.
(bright music)
So the key point is that verbal communication choices,
your choices will directly influence the results
of your conversations,
whether you're a participant or a leader,
it's especially true though for leaders.
Language can directly affect a group's effectiveness.
In fact, there was a study by Mayfield and Mayfield in 2015
that showed a 10% increase in the leaders use
of motivating language resulted in a 2.5% increase
in the quality of the followers decision-making.
So here's what that means,
as the leader used more deliberately motivating language,
followers decision-making improved.
There is a measurable difference.
In other words, your language choices,
especially as a leader, but even as participants
changes the outcome.
So it's really important that we get serious
about the way we communicate and talk
and be careful and thoughtful about what we say,
when we're going to look at barriers
that you can hear yourself say possibly
and make sure you try to get rid of.
So the first common barrier, word barrier is bypassing.
Very common, bypassing is when two people
assign different meanings to the same word.
There are lots of words that can be understood
in a variety of ways.
And I think about just these quick sample I thought of,
love, romance, quality, help, serious, soon.
Like just the word soon.
If I say that'll be done soon,
that may mean something to me in my head.
And you may have a completely different understanding
of what the word soon means.
So if I use words like this without clarifying,
then that could be bypassing issue that we are experiencing.
Like you said soon why didn't you get to here soon.
And then you have a big argument about this.
This happens in interpersonal relationships
and friendships and marriages,
and it certainly happens in the workplace.
I see it all the time happen.
In fact, there was a study done that showed
that the 500 most frequently used words
in the English language have more
than 14,000 dictionary definitions.
So I don't have a monopoly
on what the correct understanding of a word is.
We have to work that out.
So a possible fix to this is feedback.
So if somebody says something to you
and it maybe it's a little ambiguous,
you can double check it with them.
You can ask them, is this what you mean?
And you can do the same if you're the one speaking.
You want to ask them a question to see
if they're understanding.
So a little back and forth feedback,
just for a few moments can really
make sure you avoid this allness word barrier.
This bypassing word barrier, excuse me.
The next one is allness.
Number two allness is where we make simple
but untrue generalizations.
This is really common.
You hear this all the time, especially about genders.
I don't know why, but some people would say things
like oh, women are smarter than men.
That's a huge allness or generalization statement,
or athletes aren't good students.
I've heard this so many times,
I teach college and they say, well,
athletes don't make good students.
Most of my athletes have been outstanding students,
very hard workers.
I just don't find it to be true.
I don't find it to hold up, but it doesn't stop people
from making these big generalizations.
So allness can be a huge word barrier,
a big verbal communication barrier
because it reinforces stereotypes.
And essentially it takes away possible common ground
that you could have with the other speaker,
the other listener.
So what you wanna do as a possible fix
is to qualify your statements and be specific.
Many situations are unique,
and you don't want to generalize everything too hastily.
Number three, a fact-inference confusion.
In fact, I may make a whole separate video on this.
This is a big one.
That's when someone responds to something
as if they have actually observed it.
It's a fact in other words
but the reality is they just have drawn
a conclusion about it.
So let's say I saw someone that I know,
that I'm already feeling a little weird
or paranoid about walking through my building.
I might draw the conclusion
oh, that person's snooping around.
So the fact is they walked to the building.
My inference is they were snooping around.
They were spying on us.
I know someone who makes these kinds of generalizations
sometimes and I think you know, maybe there's more to it.
Maybe there's more to it.
And the fact is they walked to the building.
You were jumping to a conclusion
that they're snooping around.
So this happens when people speculate about,
or interpret what they think occurred,
but state it as if it's a verified certainty.
He'll destroy our country.
That's probably been said about almost every person
that's ever, every man anyway, who's ever run for president
in the last few decades.
He'll destroy our country.
Like it's an absolute certainty,
even though the country
hasn't been completely destroyed yet.
So a possible fix for this is to practice and double check
recognizing the difference.
So as you hear yourself talk,
recognize, am I making a jump in logic here?
Am I jumping too far based on what I observed?
Don't stay things definitively
if you haven't observed the actual thing.
So some key learning points here is that give more thought
to how we make statements.
Hear yourself say it before you say it,
and make a decision.
Is this how I want to come across.
Use feedback to double-check your understanding
in a situation and to make sure you have common ground
and practice reflecting on facts
before you make jumps and conclusion.
So question of the day,
where do you hear yourself in any of these?
Do you make these kinds of errors when you're communicating?
Do you have any kind of word barriers like these
that come up in your conversations?
Typically we do have difficulty
misunderstanding each other in conversations
and these three verbal word barriers are often the culprit.
I would love to hear your comments,
your feedback in that section below the video.
Thanks, and I will see you soon.