I guess a question is going to pop up.
We have to answer it.
And then we hit this red button.
Yeah, that's what I'm going to do.
[LAUGHTER]
OK, ready?
Let's see the first question.
What are three things you must do every day?
Pee.
[BELL RINGS]
Oh, three things.
Brush your teeth.
Pee.
Drink.
Take a dump, I guess.
[BELL RINGS]
I was supposed to answer that.
Oh, I was asking it and your supposted to answer it?
Right.
You both can.
I thought we were supposed--
We both--
Pardon me for saying taking a dump.
You've said worse.
So crude.
I personally don't.
That's the problem.
I'm like Queen Elizabeth.
All packed up.
What's the most rebellious-- this is my question to you.
What's the most rebellious thing you did as a teenager?
Well, I can't even enumerate.
I've done everything.
I was out of school one year out of three in high school,
cumulatively.
You understand what that means?
[LAUGHTER]
Well, you answered it, so hit that.
Yeah.
[BELL RINGS]
OK, I ate a beetle.
[LAUGHTER]
I used to smoke in the mathematician teachers thing,
and bang erasers to make smoke.
[BELL RINGS]
What's something the two of you have fought about?
We've thought about?
Fought-- get a hearing aide, God.
I've been telling her for years to get a hearing aide.
Well I didn't think they thought we fought about anything.
I thought they were saying what did we think about.
And we don't really have anything
to answer there either.
OK, so what's your favorite body part of a man?
Well, no, no, you're gay.
So you--
[LAUGHTER]
You ask me.
I can have a favorite body part.
What's your favorite body part of a man?
Legs.
[BELL RINGS]
What's your favorite body part of a woman?
Oh--
[LAUGHTER]
Too numerous to mention.
[BELL RINGS]
What would the movie about your life be called?
Lily.
[BELL RINGS]
What would the movie of your life be called?
Lily.
[BELL RINGS]
What's the one thing that does not get better with age?
Your taste in clothing, I guess.
[BELL RINGS]
That is the worst answer.
[LAUGHTER]
You can't put-- you can't put doilies on your sofa anymore.
[BELL RINGS]
Sex.
Oh, I think you're wrong.
Actually, no, that's not true.
Yeah, you're right.
I'm wrong.
Where's the craziest place you've had sex?
In my ear.
[BELL RINGS]
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
I see.
Describe each other in one word.
Tenacious.
[BELL RINGS]
Oh, that's not worth it.
Courageous.
Fantastic.
On top of the world.
Brilliant.
Fabulous.
Funny.
[INAUDIBLE] to mankind, to humankind to--
Empathic.
Oh, look at that.
What's the last lie that you told?
That you were terrific.
[LAUGHTER]
Yeah, that's right.
OK, here's-- here's--
OK.
Chris Pratt, Chris Pine, or Chris Hemsworth?
Isn't Chris Hemsworth real handsome?
They're all handsome.
Oh--
What does the audience think?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
I vote for Kris Kringle.
[BELL RINGS]
What's your favorite curse word?
Oh, I don't even want to say it.
It's sort of like-- it's partly, you know.
Mother [BLEEP].
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
We'll be back.