♪ I grew up in an American town ♪
♪ No locks on the doors when we all bedded down ♪
♪ to sleep
♪ Met a pretty young girl and made her my bride ♪
♪ After church on Sundays, take the kids for a ride ♪
♪ down the street
♪ Swimming holes, catching fireflies in jars ♪
♪ Spend the evening staring at the stars ♪
♪ Then the gays got married
♪ The gays got married
♪ And the plant shut down
♪ The plant shut down
♪ And the crops dried up
♪ The crops dried up
♪ Everywhere around
♪ Then them gays started kissing ♪
♪ Started kissing
♪ And the state said, "Cool" ♪
♪ Cool
♪ And they made all the kids ♪
♪ All the kids
♪ Be gay in school
♪ 'Cause them gays got married ♪
♪ Gays got married
♪ When they announced it on TV ♪
♪ jumped in my truck and slammed reverse ♪
♪ I had to get to my family
♪ before the gay could get there first ♪
♪ Hauling ass down the interstate ♪
♪ In my throat I could feel my heart ♪
♪ I didn't know how much time I had ♪
♪ before all the orgies would start ♪
♪ And they're grabbing guys like me ♪
♪ and they're pulling us out of our trucks ♪
♪ and they're kissing our lips and nibbling our ears ♪
♪ and all sorts of sexy stuff ♪
♪ And they're taking us out to fancy hotels ♪
♪ and partying the night away
♪ And they're saying how good we look in their shirt ♪
♪ when we wake up the next day ♪
♪ No, I dare not look back
♪ to see what's behind
♪ They almost got me once
♪ when I was surfing online
♪ but as strong and straight as I know I am ♪
♪ every man can be pushed too far ♪
♪ I see the devil
♪ and the devil looks like Mario Lopez ♪
♪ in jean shorts washing his car ♪
♪ I pulled up into my house ♪
♪ and I quickly ran inside
♪ I grabbed my lovely spouse
♪ but I felt no love when I looked in her eyes ♪
♪ The gay had gone airborne
♪ and I didn't make it in time ♪
♪ My family unit
♪ had already been undermined because ♪
♪ the gays got married
♪ The gays got married
♪ And released gay spores
♪ Gay spores
♪ And all the straight people ♪
♪ All the people
♪ Weren't in love no more
♪ Never love no more
♪ 'Cause them gays got married ♪
♪ The gays got married
♪ Been in this bunker three longs years ♪
♪ Canned food and recycled air ♪
♪ Yet I shudder when I think
♪ about what must be happening out there ♪
♪ A radioactive scorched desert-scape ♪
♪ ruled by roving biker gangs
♪ with scary tattoos and muscly arms ♪
♪ blue eyes and super cute bangs ♪
♪ So I'll seal myself off from everyone ♪
♪ and hide here until I die
♪ confused and angry, sad and alone ♪
♪ and I know the reason why
♪ 'Cause the gays got married ♪
♪ The gays got married
The gays got married ♪