-It is time for our latest installment
of "Tonight Show Polls." Here we go.
-♪ "Tonight Show Polls" ♪
-Let's check out this first poll.
This poll asked, "If you're a parent,
how are you handling school closings?"
50% said, "Getting my kids set up on Zoom."
30% said, "In-person tutoring."
And 20% said, "Wine." [ Laughter ]
That's not the only --
Surprised it's that low. -That would do it, yeah.
-The next poll asked, "How are you testing for COVID?"
64% said, "Using at-home rapid tests."
32% said, "Getting a PCR at my doctor's office."
4% said, "Shoving a Q-tip up my nose,
rubbing it on a pregnancy test, and hoping for the best."
[ Applause ]
-Florida. -[ Chuckles ]
This next poll said, "What are you watching on Netflix?"
10% said, "Queer Eye."
10% said, "Emily in Paris."
80% said, "My own reflection while I scroll through TikTok."
[ Laughter ]
[ Chuckles ]
This next one asked,
"How did you feel after your booster shot?"
50% said, "I felt normal."
49% said, "I felt a little achy."
The CEO of Pfizer said, "I pfelt perpfectly pfine."
[ Laughter ]
This next one asked, "What's the best way to make
your home entertainment system feel like a movie theater?"
12% said, "Get a widescreen TV."
23% said, "Buy a comfortable recliner."
65% said, "Hire a stranger to sit next to you
and suck on a Milk Dud too loudly."
[ Laughter, applause ]
-[ Sucking loudly ]
-[ Chuckles ]
You likin' the movie?
[ Laughter ]
-Can I have one of those? -Sure.
-[ Imitates splattering ] -There you go.
-I got two packs. -[ Chuckles ]
Every time we would go out to the movies,
my mom, she would sneak in candy.
And it was just like the loudest candy
you could ever sneak in anywhere.
It was just like wrapping and unwrapping and wrapping.
And I'd go, "What is your thing?"
And then all of a sudden I heard her go like...
[ Hissing ]
She had, like, a 2-liter bottle of seltzer or something.
[ Laughter ] "What are you doing?"
-Saving money, man.
-How do you like your burger? -Are you cooking stuff?
-Yeah. How do you like your burger? Medium?
-I got a fondue pot for nachos. -[ Chuckles ]
This next poll asked, Have you played the new game Wordle?
Isn't it so much fun?"
25% said, "M-A-Y-B-E."
25% said, "G-R-A-V-E."
25% said, "A-G-A-V-E.
25% said, "A-G-R-E-E."
Yeah, we did it! [ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
This next poll asks, "What rating would you give
The Weeknd's new album?"
100% said, "Tn out of tn."
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
That was a thinker kind of, yeah.
-A thinker, not a stinker.
-The last polls asked, "What angers you the most?"
60% said, "Politics."
39% said, "Taxes."
Elmo said, "Rocks can't eat cookies."
There you go, everybody.
That's all we have for "Tonight Show Polls."