- Whose is this? - Yours.
Why would you give me something worth this much money?
So you’ll do something for me in return.
- That seems fair. - What do you want me to do?
Stop dating Sam!
- How’d you know? - Yes, how did you know?
It doesn’t matter.
If you want that bar of palladium, you tell that no good
Puckett to find some other boy to ruin!
You can’t bribe me to break up with Sam.
- But Freddie! - No chance!
Gah!!
[crying]
[screaming]
Freddie, I got you some…
[screaming]
What the yuck?!
- Nothing! - Mom, I wasn’t!
Nothing!
- I was just… I’m taking his temperature! What do you mean?
See, 98.6! Healthy as a duck! Bye!
- Oh! Oh! - Carly, don’t leave!
She’s beating me with your underwear! Ugh!
Mom.
Oh, no, no, no. Mom, mom, please!
Oh! No! Mom.
What’s so important?
Maybe you’d like to explain the contents of this baggie.
What is that?
Oh you don’t recognize this asparagus that I put on your dinner plate?
Mom, can we… don’t shoot this!
Sorry, I can’t hear you over this embarrassment.
- Mom, please leave. - After you finish your vegetables.
- Oh my g… - You better finish that with gosh!
Dear gosh, please make her leave.
Dude, just finish your asparagus so we can get on with the show.
[gagging]
- When a big boy eats his vegetables… - Don’t sing the song!
By the way, Mrs. Benson… I love this sofa bed.
I want to find out what kind it is and see if Spencer will get me one for my room.
It would be really cool for when Sam spends the night so she can just u…
[screaming]
- What the jack! What is that?! - A tick gasser!
You know how I used to give Freddie tick baths?
Yeah.
Well now I can get rid of ticks with this industrial gasser!
Industrial?!
[screaming]
You may feel a powerful burning sensation!
I do!
[screaming]
I have been waiting outside for nine and a half minutes!
- So. - So!
When you were ready to be born, did I keep you waiting?
Yes. You were pregnant with me for 11 months!
I wanted to make sure you were done!
Mrs. Benson, you’re kind of… drawing a crowd.
Oh. Are you all Freddie’s friends?
No, no, no, Mom. They’re not all my friends.
- They’re just… - Who wants to see his baby pictures?
- I do! - Oh good, I’ve got a bunch on my phone.
- Mrs. Benson. - Mom, do not show them…
Here’s Freddie wearing special diapers.
[squealing]
Oh, and here’s baby Freddie in the bathtub.
I’m out! Move!
Out of my way! You want a piece of me, Toder?!
[shrieking]
Ah! Hey! Help me!
- Stay down! - Ugh! Somebody get her!
Yeah, good luck!
Mom!
[grunting]
Who’s the best now, Toder?!
Get her, Mom! Get her!
[grunting]
- Why is the counter wet and sticky? - Oh, well the… I had to…
Wet and sticky is very icky. Sticky and wet makes mommy upset.
I don’t know how to respond to that.
Breaker 1-9, breaker 1-9, come back.
- What is that? - Oh, it’s an old CB radio.
I found it back there with Lubert’s stuff. I just plugged it in. It works great.
A CB radio? Like the kind that truck drivers use to talk to each other?
- Yeah, you want to try it? - No.
Oh, come on. It’s really fun. All you do is just press this but…
I don’t like wireless transceivers!
- Hey, Mrs. Benson. - I’m here to get Freddie.
Oh, he crashed on our couch. Maybe you outta just let him sleep.
- But it’s been 3 weeks. - Three weeks?
Ever since Freddie was born, I de-waxed his ears on every third Friday,
which was yesterday. But he refused to let me.
Well… you know teenagers in their years.
Alright.
I’ll just go then.
[laughing]
Mom! You tried to vaccum my ear while I was sleeping?!
Please let me finish!