Hi every one Emma McAdam here, today we are going to talk about a question I got from
one of my viewers and they asked, "How do turn
off the freeze response?"
So that's what we're
gonna talk about today.
Well, basically the freeze response is a survival instinct stored
deep in you brain.
It's an automatic response to overwhelming danger, or at least the perception
of danger.
So, when fighting your way out, or running away seem impossible, the brain turns
on the freeze response as a last resort.
So this isn't something conscious, this isn't
something you plan, or choose.
It's something that your deep limbic brain triggers a lot
faster than thinking.
And it can be really hard to break out of the freeze response.
So
in this video we're gonna talk about one of the things I do in session with my clients
to help them work through it.
Ok so the freeze response is the third option
in the flight flight freeze reaction to danger.
Fight works when the threat seems beatable,
like some thing smaller or less powerful than you.
Flight works when you're faster or you
have an advantage to escape.
And freeze kicks in automatically when your brain decides that
the threat is too large or too overwhelming or too strong or fast or powerful to fight
off or escape.
And honestly, the freeze response can be really effective.
You may have seen
some of these videos on youtube or in wild life documentaries, where an animal survives
because they froze, they hid, or they played dead.
Now if you've frozen up in the past, don't
beat yourself up.
You can just thank your brain for keeping you safe and we can also talk
about some new skills to move forward.
Now if you look at how the freeze response shows
up, it can turn on in this like really big way like freezing up in the middle of battle,
or it can also turn on in really small ways.
So like if your stressed about a test, you
might feel a sense of dread or a sense of of overwhelm and then you just try to avoid
your homework, or hide from trying to think about your studying.
Our anciently evolved
brain doesn't do a very good job with these modern threats that we have that are really
quite different than fighting off a tiger.
So, things like social media comments that
bother you, or studying for a test, can really turn on that freeze response because our ancient
brain doesn't necessarily know how to respond to that in an effective way.
Our anciently evolved brain might turn on the freeze response in the case of a life
threatening event, or just something like public
speaking.
So here are some of the symptoms
of a freeze response.
Your muscles lock up, in all or in part of your body.
This is called
tonic immobility, and this isn't something that you can control your muscles literally
lose the ability to move.
You might feel feelings of numbness, detachment, or dissociation.
And
this means that you feel like separate from your thoughts.
Now this is actually a pretty
function response, because if you're in the face of impending death or pain that you can't
escape, then your brain has this ability to kind of separate you from those sensations
or from the intensity of that.
But, if you're taking a test and you start dissociating or
if you're talking about trauma and you can't even connect with the room you're in, that
can actually mess up your life because it's disconnecting you from the things that you
care about.
So people that feel numb or disconnected or kind of unable to attach or feel joy with
certain things in their life, that might be a locked in freeze response.
Some of the other
types of symptoms of a freeze response are feeling overwhelmed, or having fawning behaviors.
So trying to appease someone who seems threatening, or trying to make them feel good.
or trying
to give in to what they're asking or demanding of you.
Those can all be symptoms of a freeze
response.
A few more symptoms of the freeze response are a sense of stiffness or heaviness,
holding your breath, shrinking, or trying to
disappear.
People often feel ashamed that they
froze up in a situation, but they really shouldn't, and that's for two reasons.
Number one, it wasn't
in their control to do something different in the moment.
And number two, freezing up might
have saved your life.
So, for more on that check out my video the freeze response in sexual
assault.
Anyways the freeze response can feel paralyzing because it seems to return when
we remember traumatic events.
I've had clients sitting in my office and they're telling me
about their trauma and this is what they look like when they say, they're sitting there
like,
"I'm so angry, I'm so mad, this guy should be
in jail."
And they're sitting in my office frozen
stiff.
They're not moving, they're saying I'm so angry.
They're saying I'm so angry, but what
they're body is saying is I'm still powerless I'm still in danger.
And our memories are stored
as much in our bodies as they are in our minds.
So when we think about danger, or we think
about trauma, or we watch the news about corona virus, our brain can't tell the difference
between actual dangers, and these imaginary or perceived dangers.
Things danger that we're
thinking about or remembering.
So it turns on that exact same response that freeze response
in our nervous system.
Whether we're actually in danger or we're just thinking about danger,
our brain turns on that fight flight freeze response.
But, when we're in the fight flight
freeze mode, we can't process through information.
So our brain just the thinking part of our
brain basically turns off.
And so people get stuck in these cycles of reliving their trauma.
Ok, I thought this was going to be a short video now I'm like talking an talking but
here I go.
So in order to work through these responses that leave us trapped we can train
ourselves to break out of the freeze response in a couple of ways.
So the first thing I always
do with my clients is I help them reengage the body.
Because we have this cycle right
your brain sends messages to your body and your body sends messages to your brain.
So
we reengage the body and it sends messages to the brain that you are actually safe and
when the brain is reminded that you are actually safe, then it has the ability to process through
some more information.
And we plan action in a way that increases your overall sense of
power.
So you're belief in your ability to take action in a helpful way.
So the brain
that caused this reaction is not the thinking part of your brain and I'm pointing up here
because this where your prefrontal cortex is and your cortex and that's where the thinking
part of your brain works, and you can't think your way out of a freeze response.
You have
to go in kinda through the back door.
It's your deep survival oriented brain that's down
here in the brain stem that decided to put you into freeze.
So the best way to access
that part of the brain is through the body.
So for that reason, I almost always start with
a body up approach to treating trauma and anxiety.
So here's what I do with my clients
in session.
So we start by creating movement right they were sitting here and they were
frozen and they were telling me I'm so angry.
So I say ok, do this with me.
I say pat your
legs and I have them start moving their arms and then I say stomp your feet.
And they'll
sit in their on the couch or whatever and they'll start stomping their feet.
And I get
them physically moving.
So when their body's not in freeze it can send that message to
their brain that I'm safe, and then I usually have them start doing crazier things.
I have
them start shaking their arms out, stomping, we do some dancing, we get a little crazy,
and
I actually had a therapist come in from the office next to me who wasn't with my practice,
she comes right into my session in the middle of a session and she's like, "Is there a therapist
in here what are you guys doing?"
Because she had no idea that like body work is an essential
part of trauma treatment.
Which is unfortunate because she was in the EMDR trained therapist
so I don't know why she didn't know that.
But anyway, I have them wave their arms I have
them move around and I have them break their body out of freeze and when I see them calm
down and break out of freeze then we can go back start to process that trauma again.
Both
in their body and in their mind.
So when we've convinced our brain through our body that
we are actually safe, then we can do other things like talking about the traumatic experience
while staying out of freeze.
Or we can practice combating that feeling of overwhelm or we
can plan some practical steps to manage certain behaviors that week.
So these are all some
things that we can do, but we can't do them when we're stuck in the freeze response.
So
for anyone who's stuck in the freeze response, I encourage you to start moving your body.
But not in a fear based way, in a slow and intentional way.
Right, so the other thing you
can do to break out of the freeze response is you can do some training.
Because if you
have a good protocol then you can override those natural freeze habits.
And I talk about
this in my other video on the freeze response and sexual assault, but this includes self
defense training and did you know that one of the most effective things people teach
like if they're teaching young girls how to avoid sexual assault, one of the most important
things they teach is just how to shout no.
How to say that really loud.
And once you've
practiced that and practiced that and practiced that, then in the moment of danger you're
able
to draw upon that training and instead of freezing up, scream no at someone and that
deters an attacker a lot of the time.
A few other things that are helpful for breaking
out of freeze, are identifying triggers and identifying your signs and symptoms.
So you
get good at noticing, sorry I just hit my mic,
so you get good at noticing what's going on
in your body when you're freezing.
And when you notice what your body does when you freeze,
then you can also take proactive steps to ground yourself here in the present moment,
and speaking of grounding I have a whole series of videos on my grounding play list on how
to do grounding exercises and all of those can help with the freeze response.
Another
thing that you can do that's helpful with the freeze response is to exercise.
So just
any kind of physical exercise and what exercise does is it takes your body through this natural
cycle of getting excited, getting sympathetic arousal.
Which is basically your brain is turning
on that excitement the adrenaline and the flooding which is really a very similar response
to that fight flight freeze response, so it takes you through that cycle of alert activation,
and then when you're done exercising you go back down through the cycle of calming down
and the rest and digest response.
So it's really healthy a healthy nervous system is able to
get both activated and relaxed and exercise can help you go through those natural cycles.
Another thing you can do to help with the freeze response is practice how you would
like to respond.
So if you freeze up in a meeting, instead of speaking up for yourself, you do
role plays in front of the mirror of what you want to say.
And you practice saying it
with your therapist or your friend and you practice saying it with people who are safe,
and the more you practice it, eventually that muscle memory and that habit is gonna come
back to you and you're gonna get you're gonna develop the ability to say what you wanna
say to your boss or whoever it is.
There's another thing you can do to help combat the
freeze response, and that's to develop the ability to envision safety.
So if our brain
can bring to mind danger and it has that fight flight freeze response in reaction to imagined
or perceived danger, we can also turn on that calming response and break out of freeze by
bringing to mind the visualization of safety.
So you bring to mind things going well, you
remember times things worked out well and you develop mental resources like an internal
safe place and when you're feeling a little nervous you bring that safe place to mind,
and that can turn on that relaxing calming reaction.
So I've made a couple videos on this,
one of them is called drawing safety and the other one is guided imagery it's called I
think it's called a safe place.
And as you do all this, you're basically developing emotional
muscles.
So you practice safe ways to experience anxiety and work your way through it.
So these
are things like rock climbing or using the book, Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You,
and basically this is just changing your rules around anxieties.
If you have a rule that says
it's not ok to feel anxious, then when you start to feel anxious you're gonna be more
likely to lock up.
So, if instead you're rules are I can feel anxious and still be ok, then
you'll be more flexible with you're decision making and you're not gonna make your anxiety
worse.
Now with any trauma work or anxiety work, you're really best off working with
an
experienced therapist.
Someone trained in trauma work or in somatic experiencing or EMDR, may
have the skills to help you.
I really believe that real growth and healing is possible,
and
I hope you can give yourself a little credit today for taking the time to improve yourself
by watching this video.
Thank you, and also please share this video, because statistically
one in five of your friends has experienced trauma and this might help them.
So, thank you
so much, take care and we'll see you next week.