(upbeat music)
- [Mike] We are Sorted, a group of mates from London
exploring the newest and best in the world of food
whilst trying to have a few laughs along the way.
(laughing)
We've got chefs, we've got normals,
and a whole world of stuff for you to explore,
but everything we do starts with you.
- Merry Christmas!
Jamie, Barry, fridge cam.
- I hope you're ready for the most pretentious
Christmas episode you're ever gonna see.
- Ever.
- Ever. - Ever.
(upbeat music)
- Some of our favorite and your favorite videos
that we make are our pretentious ingredients,
and we thought, seeing as it is the festive season,
why not get hold of some pretentious Christmas ingredients
and get these two to review them.
- The fact that we've paired up
is only going to cause arguments.
- That's why we've done this.
(upbeat music)
- Lift the cloche and you're first.
- After you.
- Oh, okay!
Wait a minute.
I tried to pick it up and turn it.
- Keep doing what you're doing.
- [Jamie] So what happens if you let go?
(tinkling Christmas music)
- We've just walked it a horror film, haven't we?
(laughing)
- Sorry.
It is just a biscuit tin.
(laughing)
- What if you're trying to sneak
into the biscuit tin at 2:00 in the morning?
(laughing)
- Shut up!
- Cheers.
- [Ben] These are made in Edinburgh by a family run bakery.
They are chocolate and caramel shortbread.
It's Fortnum's take on the classic millionaire shortbread,
in a musical biscuit tin.
- That doesn't give me the millionaire shortbread experience
that I would like,
but what it does do is give me
a fantastic chocolate shortbread biscuit.
So the description takes more away
from it than the biscuit itself does.
- Some would say novelty, but actually
I say it's quite classy,
as a biscuitine goes.
(laughing) - As a biscuitine goes.
- Well, I have someone that I would buy that for.
- Yes, same.
- I'd buy that for my aunt.
- I'd buy that for my nana.
- Yes, my nana would really enjoy that as well.
- Okay, would you still buy it
at its recommended retail price,
which we'd like you to guess.
- 10 pounds.
- 12 pounds.
- Barry is right.
They are 12 pounds and 95 pence.
Are they just a tin of biscuits,
or are they exceptional biscuits,
or is it an exceptional tin of exceptional biscuits?
- I think it's an exceptional tin--
- [Together] Of exceptional biscuits.
- They were very, very good biscuits.
They've got a story behind them.
They're family made in Edinburgh.
That's good.
- Scottish shortbread as it should be.
- Yeah, exactly,
and then you get a tin that is musical and amusing.
I'm down with that.
- Pretentious, or not?
- [Together] Not.
(upbeat music)
- You go.
- Should I go for it?
- Go for it.
- [Barry] Is that a cup of coffee?
- Has it got gold flakes in it?
- It looks like someone just like
accidentally just dropped some tinsel in your coffee.
Don't forget to pick that out.
- Yeah, yeah.
- 'Cause it's unnecessary.
- That to me tastes like instant coffee.
- [Ben] This is Bushido 24 Karat Gold,
an exclusive combination of luxury and wealth.
- I don't want to offend people
but it feels like it tastes pretty average.
- If you gave me a choice of that
or making a coffee in our coffee machine over there,
I'd go with that every single day.
- Yeah.
- The Japanese do have an affiliation with instant coffee.
So, Christmas day, you're serving up teas and coffees,
do you serve up one of those?
- Where I live we've got really hard water
so there's gonna be like, oh we have to sieve
off the scummy bit on the top or you'd have limescale.
So now we have limescale and gold leaf.
- How much for a jar then?
- Too much.
Whatever it is, it's too much.
- I'm gonna guess it's five pounds then.
- Jay?
- I'm gonna say 10 pounds.
- So a standard jar of instant coffee three pound 30.
This is,
for your nought point nought five percent 24 karat gold,
30 pounds. (laughing)
30 pound jar, 30 pounds.
- It's a joke!
Did you spend our money on that?
- Pretentious or not?
- [Together] Pretentious, definitely.
(jazzy music)
- It's a bird.
Is it something gamey?
- Pigeon.
- No, too big for pigeon.
- Or big pigeon, big pigeon.
- Seagull.
(laughing)
- Those festive birds.
- Small pheasant.
- It's pheasant.
- If we were to serve you Christmas dinner,
and there wasn't a turkey on the plate
but there were a brace of pheasants,
one of those serves two people so for four people let's say,
what would you think?
- Do you know what my first thought would be?
We've been a little bit posh this year.
- Why posh?
- Because I think it has that gamey aspect to it you know.
You go out and you hunt pheasants.
It's about hunting and it's about that kind of life style
and tweed and things like that.
Big country estates and then going back
and having the maids cook up the pheasant for dinner.
- We've cooked one.
Would you like to try it?
- I would like to try it.
Yeah, be really interested.
- [Ben] Super simple, buttered, salt, pepper, thyme,
some dried fruit in the cavity,
some sultana, some apricot, some bayleaf, and some thyme
on a trivet of veg, roast pretty high oven,
splash of white wine, more thyme.
See what you think.
- Completely different kind of texture to chicken.
It falls apart a lot more.
- Not for me.
- Yeah.
Do we have to be careful for like bullets and stuff?
- Be careful of lead shot
- Oh, serious?
- It's more meaty than chicken.
- There's more complexity to it,
and that's partly because its wild diet.
So it eats all sorts of fruits and berries
and acorns and stuff like that.
It's more complex.
- That's really nice, I love that.
- Yeah, that is, really nice.
- But I could almost see that being served with like a--
- A duck sauce.
- Yeah, or even like horseradish
and flavors that have a bit more of punch to it.
- Second of January, we all come back, we all meet up.
Barry Taylor tells you that he didn't have turkey
for Christmas dinner, he had pheasant.
What do you think?
- Of course he did.
- Why?
- Because he's pretentious.
But I think that says more about Barry
than it does the pheasant.
- Okay.
- I don't think the meat itself is pretentious.
I don't think the birds are pretentious.
I think the traditions and the concept
that has always surrounded game
and things like pheasant is pretentious.
- Which is unfair.
- I'm going to say 40 pounds.
- Whoa!
- [Ben] For the pair, for a brace?
- Whoa, whoa, what?
I would've compared that to a chicken.
An organic, beautiful chicken.
A whole chicken is gonna cost you
about seven pounds, eight pounds, maybe 10.
So it can't be anymore.
So two of those would be 20.
- 12 pound 50.
Six pound a bird.
- Better.
- So to me 6 pounds 25 a bird doesn't put it
into Christmas dinner territory.
That puts it into Sunday roast territory.
- So pheasant, pretentious or not?
- Pheasant, actually not pretentious.
- No. - No.
(upbeat music)
- Potential pretentious gift here, maybe.
- Is it chocolate?
- Yeah.
- Is there something in the chocolate?
- [Both] Ooh.
- Is it gold flake?
- No. - Good.
- Make a wish.
(jazzy music)
- It didn't come true.
(laughing)
- Cheers.
(exclaming)
- The after taste.
- Rose.
- No, tobacco.
- Tobacco.
- [Ben] This is the world's first supplement
in the form of dark chocolate.
- [Barry] So that's just not dark chocolate.
- [Jamie] Supplementing what?
- [Ben] Now that is the question.
- [Jamie] Science based skin--
- [Barry] Yeah, face on--
- Were we supposed to eat it or rub it on our skin?
- [Jamie] When taken regularly,
Esthechoc supports skin nutrition.
- [Ben] Scientifically proven to show noticeable improvement
within three weeks, which is why inside the box,
you have 21 chocolates.
- So the thinking behind this:
chocolate, very highly consumed around Christmastime,
beauty products, very regularly given
as gifts at Christmastime.
Combine the two.
- Without offending the person you're giving it too.
- So I have food supplement tablets every morning to make up
on my deficiency of Vitamin D.
Been doing that for the last couple years
and don't think anything of it.
Now, if I could replace that supplement tablet
with a chocolate bar, then I'd be interested.
If my skin looks better because of it as well,
then sign me up.
- This is the result of 10 years
and extensive independent research.
- Okay so it's proven to work.
- [Ben] Proven to work.
- Fine, I can take that.
- It's not very nice.
- No.
- 73% is quite a dark chocolate
and it's evidently lots of other things in it
which is why the daily dose is one bar.
- I would rather have a slice of dark chocolate
that I know I enjoy and take a tablet.
- How much do you think that retails for?
- Thinking over again, I'm just going to go bold.
- 50 pounds.
- Yeah, I'm gonna go 50 quid.
Yeah, same.
- Whoa!
50!
- Because look at the video we're in.
- Yeah, it's 29.99
- [Barry] Oh, okay.
- [Jamie] Okay, right.
- 30 pounds, but I mean 50 is a lot.
But 30 felt like a lot.
What do you think of that?
- 30 is a lot.
- It's a lot of money.
- Do you think that this product is pretentious or not?
- I don't think it's pretentious.
I think it's a clever way, a plenty more enjoyable way,
of having food supplements.
- But is it pretentious?
Yeah, hella pretentious.
- I don't think it is.
(soft music)
- [Mike] Boys, boys, boys, give us a spin.
- [Jamie] Good try with the cloche.
- It's an advent calendar.
(gasps)
- Tis the season to be mallow.
- It's a marshmallow calendar.
- Pow!
- [Jamie] Unboxing day.
- Yeah, this is what it's all about.
It's all about experience, yes!
Look at this.
All the same, where is number one.
This is gonna take me a while.
- It's there.
- Oh.
(laughing)
- [Ben] 24 individually wrapped things
in little gift boxes that can be kept and used again
next year or put on the tree with other homemade gifts in.
- [Jamie] Have you ever considered
marshmallows being artisanal?
- Gourmet marshmallows are a thing.
People are charging a lot of money for marshmallow flavor.
- That's amazing.
- Why don't you try a sample, just grab a whole load out.
- Raspberry marshmallow, coconut marshmallow,
gingerbread marshmallow.
- I'm really hoping this is the coconut one,
should've went with mine. - Yes.
- Mmm, vanilla.
- That was a really nice raspberry flavor.
- That is delicious.
- They're good, huh?
- It didn't taste like synthetic raspberry.
- These are made by a UK confectioner, Belinda,
and she makes handcraft gourmet marshmallows.
She is inspired and on a mission to make confectionery
for both grown ups and children.
- And how much do you think this advent calendar sells for?
- This sounds bonkers but it's gonna be
something like 20 quid.
- Oh, I was gonna say 20 pounds.
- Oh yeah?
- We're so on the same page. - We're certainty not.
- Would you gift this to another person
if you paid an extra 10 pounds on top of that?
- 30 pounds?
- [Mike] 30 pounds.
- 30 pounds, I just did the maths for you.
- Well done, thanks mate.
- I think if I bought that for my wife
and I told her the truth and said it was 30 pounds,
I feel like she might call me an idiot.
But when she tastes them, I'm sure she'll go,
"They're really very nice,
"but you still spent 30 pounds on them you idiot."
- So the gourmet marshmallow advent calendar,
pretentious or not?
- Yes, this is a pretentious gift.
Definitely
- I concur.
- I'd say more premium.
- They're in the hot seat.
- You're in the hot seat.
(soft music)
- This is a big one, literally.
(exclamations)
- Okay, wow.
(speaks in foreign language)
- The Amalfi Coast, speaks Italian.
(speaks in foreign language)
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! - Sugar.
(angelic singing)
- Oh the smell!
- It's so much gold!
(laughing)
- Look at that.
- On an unusually quiet winter's afternoon high up
in the mountains, Salvatore De Riso
decided to have some fun.
So he decorated one of his award winning panettone
with pure gold leaf, drove it down to his shop
on the sea front and offered it up for sale.
This panettone is prepared over 60 hours
using a 60-year-old mother yeast and the finest ingredients,
including two varieties of Venezuelan 72% chocolate.
Both are well known for their rich, dark flavors
and notes of almonds and coffee.
It's a golden panettone.
- It's come all the way from Italy.
- [Jamie] I like that it comes with it's own plate.
- [Ben] Bear that in mind
when you think about the price.
- Oh my, it's got chocolate.
- [Both] Cheers.
(beep)
(laughing)
- That is so, so good indulgent.
And this is me saying this guys,
you don't want a big slice of that at a time, do you?
- Can I ask one question, before you ate it,
looking at it, unboxing it, is it pretentious?
- Mm-hmm. - Yeah, yeah.
I mean, a smidge.
(laughing)
- All the things we've looked over at Christmas
have all been about the experience as much as the taste,
and the experience for this is this is ridiculous,
this is a joke.
The fact that it tastes that good as well is unbelievable.
- Is the gold leaf needed?
- Yeah.
(laughing)
- You've changed your tune.
- There is absolutely no need for the gold there.
- No.
- 'Cause that panettone is spectacular by itself.
- I like the story behind it.
On an unusually quiet winter's afternoon
high up in the mountains, he decided to have some fun.
- If that is true that they are just having fun.
If that's true--
- [Mike] That's how it started.
- That kind of rational makes this not pretentious,
but if I didn't know that, then off the bat
this is the most pretentious thing you could ever see.
- Do you wanna guess at how much this cost?
- No, because I don't want to ruin
this special moment that I'm having.
- I'm gonna go over 100 pounds.
So like 110.
- Is that with or without the plate?
- [Both] Oh, there's a plate.
- 600 pounds.
- I don't believe this, that I'm going to say it,
but I'm going to say 150 pounds.
- What have we become?
(laughing)
- Think how many caterpillar canji you can get for that.
- This golden panettone is 200 pounds.
(laughing)
- That does include shipping.
- We've just eaten 50 quids worth of panettone between us.
I don't see how I can top the taste and the texture
of that panettone anywhere else
and therefore is it worth 200 pounds because of that?
- Even if it wasn't covered in gold,
how much can the gold add on top of that?
100 pounds?
If so, 100 pounds for a plain panettone is still outrageous.
(laughing)
- The classic panettone also a kilo 30 quid.
- Now knowing he does other panettones for
at a reasonable cost.
- You say reasonable cost, 30 pounds
for a loaf of bread is still quite a lot of money.
- Make the decision.
- It's pretentious.
- It's pretentious, but I...
- No, Jamie!
(laughing)
- We're done for another year.
- Happy Christmas!
- So comment down below.
Let us know which of them did you like
and which ones did you think might be
a little bit pretentious.
- Mmm.
- Oh, that was a noise.
- If you like this video,
then spread a bit of Christmas cheer
and give this video a like.
It does really help.
- And we will see you every Wednesday, every Sunday,
at four o'clock for more festive fun.
- [Barry] Goodbye.
- [Mike] As we mentioned,
we don't just make top quality YouTube videos,
- [Man] Lol!
- [Mike] We film the Sorted Club
where we use the best things
we've learned to create stuff that's hopefully interesting
and useful to other food lovers.
Check it out if you're interested.
Thank you for watching and we'll see you in a few days.
- Oh, there's an apricot up there.
(laughs)
- Why are you looking up there?
- 'Cause it smells nice.
(laughing)
- [Ben] Each to their own.