- Mmm. Oh yeah, that's good. (High pitched) That's a very good helium.
- Shut up!
- Aah!
- I want a rematch.
- But I saw you die last year.
- Well, I'm here, so I'm obviously a--
- A zombie?
- Could a zombie do this?
- Oh!
Yeah.
- How about this?
- (groans)
Yeah!
- Could I do this?
- What?
Oh!
Ow!
Yeah!
- How about this?
- Maybe.
- Could I do this?
- You know what? Maybe you're not actually a zombie.
- All right. Well, in that case, I want a rematch.
- You think your stupid burrito can do more everyday tasks than my pink frosted sprinkled donut?
- Yeah.
- Bring it on, chode knocker!
(eats noisily)
(gunfire)
(moo, boom)
- How about this toothbrush?
- My dentist is gonna be so proud!
Let's do a shovel. Ya dig?
- If you do one more stupid pun, I'm gonna punt your ass to Bangkok.
- (snickers)
- Why are you laughing?
- You said-- (wheezes)
- What?
- You said "punt." Come on, donut!
(grunting)
What-- (growls)
- Dig me a hole to China, burrito! I want to see some Chinese people!
- Greetings, stranger. What are you selling?
- This is a vase.
- Ah.
I'll buy it at a high price.
- 11 bucks? Woo! Yeah!
Let's do--
a wig.
- Oh, don't like the-- like the one you put on your head?
- No, the one you put on your butt.
Yeah, the one you--
- Oh! Dude.
- No, the one--
- The butt-- no, the butt wig. Yeah.
- No, the one you put on your head.
- Are we doing the butt wig?
- The one you put on your head!
- Sherry? I didn't know you were back in town. I know this is a bit soon, but...
Sherry Lucas Wellington-Worth II, will you marry me?
- Yes!
- (laughs giddily)
(camera shutter clicking)
Sherry, I hope we'll be together forever-- oh my God, you're a dude!
- (crying) No!
- Come on, donut. I know you could be a freaking sweat wig.
- Oh, hey, Ian. I didn't know you were Jewish.
- This isn't a yarmulke.
Oh, by the way, congratulations on the marriage.
- Shut up, ass casket!
(crying)
- Let's do a video game.
- Okay, excuse me. It's my turn to go. Let's do a
video game. Oh, I can't wait to play Super Donut 64.
- Let's go, Donuto.
NO!!!
- Come on, Burrito. Let's play Donut Massacre 64!
(blowing)
(video game music)
Oh.
Die, donuts! Ha ha ha ha! Yeah! (chuckles)
A boomerang!
-Okay.
- Oh my God. What happened to you?
- What?
Let's do this, doughnut. Fly like a majestic eagle!
- ♪ The little vase is not my lover, it's-- ♪ Oh!
Oh, s--t.
- Dang it!
- Let's go, Burrito! Come back to me!
- See you later, f----t! Hahahahaha!
Oh, wait, what's that? (grinding)
- What?
- Let's see your burrito be a
mind-control device.
- All right. And I'm gonna mind-control your mom to touch my prickly--
- Whoa. Whoa. Don't say it.
- I was gonna say to touch my prickly legs.
Oh. Oh, in that case, that'd be fine.
But you know what? Let's just use the mind-control device to, I don't know, get some girls to make out with us.
- Yeah!
(laughs)
You are growing sleepy.
But all your worries go away, and you want to kiss me
- Ew, gross!
- Why not?
- Hey there, pretty lady.
Ian is super hot. In fact, you think he's Robert Pattinson or some other man of equal hotness.
You now want to kiss him.
- Pleh!
- Oh, what the f--
- Let's do an
edible food.
- Dude, you're totally gonna lose this one. Burritos are made out of-- okay, one, cement and, two, Donald Trump's old skin.
- Yeah, but I've tried both those things, and they taste just fine!
- Whoa, it's edible!
- 50% cement 50% skin equals 100% awesome.
- Haha! I put cyanide in your burrito.
Sucka!
- That's gonna kill me, idiot!
- It doesn't matter. You're a zombie. You can't die.
- I'm not a freaking zombie!
- Oh, yeah.
- Ian, Ian, you've just won Food Battle--
- Wait just one second.
You killed my wife. And for that, I challenge you to a duel.
- Bring it on.
- I can't stop running!
What's going on? Oh my god!
It looks like there's Beef 'n Go everywhere!
No! AAAH!!
- Ian, Ian, you've just won Food Battle 2009. What are you gonna do now?
- I'm gonna go watch paint dry!
- Oh boy, watching paint dry! Can I come?
Is it dry yet?
- No.
- Is it dry yet?
- No.
- Is it dry yet?
- No.
- Is it dry yet?
- No!!!
- Hey, there, kids. It's Barney.
Go to smosh.com to see the new Food Battle 2009 bloopers and also see how the corn dog snuck its way into the burrito.
Also, check out the Smosh store to get the new Food Battle
2009 shirt and poster. So basically, if you don't go to smosh.com right now,
I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. (chuckles)