What does your ex feel during no contact? That's what we're going to be talking about
today. But first, my name is Clay with modernlove.life where I help you get the great, loving relationship
that you're looking for without having to play mind games, without having to play hard
to get, and without having to pretend to be someone or something that you are not, because
you deserve to be loved for the unique, amazing, and wonderful person that you are. And if
you agree with me, do me a favor by hitting that thumbs up button for this video and by
subscribing to this channel down below if you're new here.
Also, you might want to know that we do have a course called the Ex Solution Program. You
can go ahead and check it out down below in the description box for this video. We're
going to be talking about your ex's emotional world in this video, and it can be kind of
confusing, kind of deep and mysterious in a lot of ways, but ESP, Ex Solution Program,
helps you to understand your ex's world and to emotionally navigate through their world
so that you can create better, stronger, and lasting emotional connections with them. Okay?
So, that is down below in the description box.
Let's go ahead and get into this video and get into what your ex feels during no contact.
You obviously have your own journey through no contact. It can be for a lot of people
a really, really challenging thing. It can be difficult to go through. It's almost like
coming off of some sort of addiction, I would imagine. But your ex also has their own experience
as well too. That's what we're going to be talking about.
The first thing your ex feels in no contact, at least potentially, is that they may feel
an initial sense of relief if, before going no contact, you were contacting them too much,
or you were having poor interactions that were just resulting in fights or disagreements
or really high drama situations. They might actually feel a sense of relief during that
initial period of the first who knows how long, but probably at least a few days if
things were kind of bad, during no contact. They're feeling the release of some sort of
pressure that they were feeling, some sort of weight that was being put on them, which
is like "How am I supposed to deal with all of these complicated emotions and challenging
circumstances of the situation and everything? How can I deal with it?" And with that suddenly
removed, they might actually feel an initial sense of relief.
Now, once that starts to fade away, they get into another, or many different other potential
stages, about how they might feel. One of those is that they might feel a sense of panic
knowing that you may not be there for them any longer. There are a lot of philosophies
and theories about the no contact rule here on YouTube, here on the internet and all of
that. I have my own philosophy. You can go ahead and check it out up there in a playlist
that I will put as a video card up in the corner. But, oftentimes many people do not
tell their ex that they're doing no contact. They just do no contact and then let their
ex figure it out on their own.
So, that can sometimes cause your ex to feel a sense of panic, thinking that you are not
there for them any longer, thinking that maybe this is it, maybe you've moved on, maybe you're
out doing who knows what, dating other people. I don't know. But they can start to feel a
sense of panic, because maybe they had a lot of mixed feelings, and maybe they didn't like
a lot of aspects of the communication that the two of you were having, but they may have
still had something that they valued in it, whether that is some form of emotional connection,
some form of closeness, some form of intimacy, if the two of you were doing all that stuff.
But they might start to panic, fearing that "Okay, this is going away, and now I have
lost my potential safety net." I'm not saying that they're necessarily using you as a backup
or anything like that. It can happen. But they might suddenly start to feel a little
bit less safe. By the way, we did a video recently on your ex seeing you as a backup.
Check that out up there in the video card section.
The third thing that your ex may experience is they may actually realize that they appreciate
and value you. That is to say, they might actually start to miss you. As you start to
remove yourself from contacting your ex, they may start to recognize that there were important
parts of your connection that maybe they took for granted. Maybe they didn't realize them.
Maybe they overlooked them. Maybe they did not fully value them, but they may start to
come to terms with the fact that there are definitely aspects of your connection that
maybe they actually enjoyed, maybe they actually valued, and they might start to actually recognize
these things during this no contact period.
The fourth thing that your ex may experience during no contact is they might actually start
to feel resentful towards you, thinking that you're playing some sort of mind game with
them, thinking that you're trying to manipulate them in some way. Your ex might start to resent
you, thinking that this is some sort of trick, some sort of gimmick that you heard about
on the internet just to try to get some sort of response from them, to try and get some
sort of reaction from them, or anything like that.
Now, I mean, obviously I don't recommend that you use gimmicks or mind games or tricks or
strategies like that. I think if you've watched more of my videos then you should probably
be able to piece that together. If this is the first video that you've seen of mine,
by the way, welcome. Thanks for checking out this channel. But I don't recommend that stuff.
But, if you're just going to go no contact, you're not going to tell them anything, you're
not going to give them any sort of context to understand what's going on, they might
start to think that you're playing some sort of mind game on them. And that can sometimes
anger them, cause them to feel some sort of resentment towards you, that you're trying
to manipulate them emotionally in some way, you're trying to do some sort of power play,
you're trying to get them to respond in some sort of predictable manner or something like
that, or basically the thought that you're doing something.
If you're doing something to try and influence them in some way, that can oftentimes cause
them to have this feeling of resentment or have this feeling of anger toward you. So,
you want to be careful about that. That is oftentimes one of the reasons why I don't
recommend that you just kind of do no contact out of the blue. Don't get me wrong, there
is definitely a time and place for that, but generally that is the reason why I don't recommend
people typically do that as sort of a blanket statement.
And the fifth thing that your ex may experience while you're doing no contact is that they
may worry that you are actually out of their life forever. They might worry that this is
the real deal and that, for whatever reason, you don't want to be in contact with them
anymore. Either you've had some sort of epiphany and you've just decided that, hey, breakups
happen for a reason or something, and you've decided to move on, or they might worry that
you're dating someone else, or they might worry that that last fight that you had, that
last poor interaction that you had with one another was the straw that broke the camel's
back, as they say, and that you've just decided to cut your losses and walk away and that
they may never see you again.
And that's often really why they start to feel that panic that we talked about earlier,
thinking that you're gone for good, or that's why they actually start to appreciate the
things that the two of you may have had together or shared together or experienced together,
because they're starting to come to terms with the fact that this could be the end of
the road for the two of you.
Now, again, I don't recommend that you try to manipulate your ex. No contact should be
more about something that you do for you, something that you do in order to maximize
potential interactions and really create deeper emotional connections, rather than some sort
of gimmick or stunt or trick or technique or something like that.
One of the main challenges that I have with a lot of people when they first come and start
working with me is that they often think that no contact is something that you just need
to do whenever things go bad. No contact is not your only tool in the toolbox. No contact
should not be your only tool in the toolbox. I think if it is the only thing that you have
at your disposal, if you just retreat into no contact whenever you have a poor interaction,
or whenever things don't go the way you want them to, or whenever you find out some sort
of bad news about your ex or something, if you just retreat into no contact as your one
and only thing that you do, you're going to have a really, really, really hard time. So,
please don't think that you just need to use no contact as the one thing that you have
at your disposal, okay?
That's why we do have the Ex Solution Program. Again, that is down below in the description
box for this video. You can check it out there if you're interested. If not, no worries.
I'm not going to hard sell you on it or anything like that. But it really is about helping
you to navigate your ex's emotional world through things, again, such as active no contact,
but also with an entire toolbox of other things that you have at your disposal, things that
we call advanced relational skills, texting strategies, et cetera. Again, that's down
below if you want to learn more about that.
But, anyway. That's a little bit of a taste about what your ex might be experiencing during
no contact. Thanks so much for watching. If you like what we're doing, please hit that
thumbs up button, and please subscribe to the channel if you are new here. Also, you
might want to learn more about what your ex is experiencing, their emotional world, and
all of that. You can learn more about that over in this video series here on advanced
relational skills, or you might want to check out this video over here. But thank you so
much, and I will talk to you next time. Please take care.