- Have you ever noticed that the more you try
to control things in your life,
the more out of control you feel?
Have you noticed that
if you want someone's approval or validation,
the more you want it,
the more you kind of do weird things
or your energy comes off different
and the less they actually naturally like you
or approve of you or validate you?
The thing is as many times the more we try,
the more we try to control,
the more we put our energy into things,
the more we actually resist.
And in this video, I'm gonna show you the cure
and what changes everything when you apply it
and it makes your life so much easier,
more aligned, and effortless.
There's something called the law of reversed effort.
And this is a law that is also stems
from something called the backwards law from Alan Watts.
And it's exactly what I was sharing
with you at the beginning,
where the more you want something,
the more you actually lack something.
The more that you try to control things in your life,
the more outta control you feel.
Whereas if you would just go with the flow
and accept things that are out of control,
you would then feel more in control.
If you would accept,
a lot of this has to do with acceptance.
If you would accept where you're at when it comes
to wanting someone else's validation or approval.
You were to accept yourself and feel natural about it
and not feel weird or try to get something
from someone else.
Then what would happen is people
would just naturally like you more.
So it's an interesting dynamic
but really what this has to do with is understanding
that if we are approaching life in a way
where our ego is trying to control things,
our ego is trying to get things,
then what happens is we are emphasizing
that this moment right here isn't good enough.
And we end up reestablishing a sense of a reality
that isn't where we want it to be.
So in a way, vibrationally what we're saying
is where we are right now is not good enough,
where we are right now is not good enough.
I wanna be over there.
And because we're in that energy
and we're trying to get out of it,
we're emphasizing the trying itself is emphasizing
that we're not where we want to be.
That things are not okay.
That I am not safe.
And then we end up staying in a reality
that is equal to that.
This is why the more I've learned
about personal development,
the more I've realized it's just complete bullshit.
If we wanna change ourselves,
we wanna make ourselves better,
we wanna read all the books,
we want to get and listen to all the seminars,
and do everything because we wanna change.
Once again, we are emphasizing
that there's something we have,
or there's something that's outside of ourselves
that if we got we would feel good.
Now the key and the transformation of everything
that I would like for you to get outta this video
is understanding that attachment is the culprit here.
It's attachment.
If it's control that we're having trouble letting go of,
it's because we believe there's a false belief
that is there that we are attached to that says
if people act the way I want them to act
then I can feel safe.
Then I can feel good enough.
If the attachment is on someone else
giving us approval or validation,
then the belief is if somebody else is,
the belief is somebody else has something of mine.
They have the validation, the love, or the support.
And if they would just give it to me
then I would finally feel safe.
So remember this saying just throughout life,
90% of all transformation is awareness.
It's simply becoming aware.
The more aware you become, the more free you become.
The more aware you become,
the less effort you need to put into things
because what you can then do is just let go
of the false belief that says that you're not good,
that you don't accept yourself.
It's not necessarily what we're changing.
It's like, oh, well then I'll just stay the same.
And I'll smoke and just chill on my couch all day.
Is that what you're saying?
It's real.
I'm not saying that.
What it is realizing is the energy
you're putting into things.
If the reason you need to control life
and have things happen the way you want is
because you believe that that will make you happy
then there's gonna be problems
because there's an attachment there.
And remember attachment is the root of all suffering.
What is the key to getting out of attachment?
It's awareness.
It's becoming aware of why you want what you want.
For myself, I know that growing up
I felt controlled.
I felt like, and I did, I mean,
I literally had like a narcissistic army commander
as an ex-stepmom from 7 to 15 years old.
Didn't have any freedom.
After my ex-stepmom left my life when I was 15
and my dad finally divorced her,
I then had all this freedom and it scared the shit outta me.
It felt weird to be able to watch TV
even though I always wanted to watch TV
then I was able to watch TV,
then I was able to actually eat enough food.
All of a sudden I started loving food.
Even to this day I like,
food is such something that I have to not control.
I guess that goes against
what we're talking about in this video.
But I just, I love it so much.
And maybe it's because I was deprived it when I was a kid.
I was given a TV dinner at night
and a bowl of cereal in the morning.
And I was very like, I weighed like 115 pounds
until I was like a junior in high school
and my dad divorced my ex-stepmom.
But the reason I share this is because I felt
so controlled even after my ex-stepmom left my life
when I was 15 or 16.
I then created my own sense of control.
I'd focus on my diet.
I'd focus on, I would,
at first I attracted women into my life.
Specifically women 'cause I had a belief
that women tried to control me.
It's the attachment to that belief that I had.
And therefore I felt trapped in an old reality
where women were always trying to control me
either an ex-girlfriend that was really jealous
or it was like a manager that was like
just like my ex-stepmom,
controlling, talks down to people, manipulative.
And it's interesting
because we create the same childhood dynamics
that we haven't healed until we heal it,
accept it, forgive it, and move that energy.
And the more I became aware of these different things,
the less I felt like I needed to control things.
The more free I started to become.
And I recognize it even to this day in certain ways
where like I'll, you know,
just the other day I was looking at myself in the mirror
and I go through these phases where like I get in shape
and I go through like a diet cut.
I cut my calories and I exude more exertion of energy.
And then I lose like five pounds maybe.
And then I feel really good about how I feel.
And then what happens is I start just like going more
into autopilot and I might gain four or five pounds.
Then I start looking in the mirror at the,
I just look at the fat on my body.
I'm like, oh, there's this extra fat on my back right here.
And what can I do about it?
What I've realized though the energy I'm coming from
is I need to change
because it's almost like I'm not worthy
unless I change and have that fat off of my body.
But that's just my weird neurotic way of trying
to control so that I can feel worthy.
And what I've learned is it's not
that I can't lose the five pounds or whatever
but the energy from which I am exerting it
is just very unhealthy.
And instead of trying to get somewhere else
what I'm focusing on is I'm focusing on the lifestyle
of enjoying the process.
'Cause what I used to do is if I let's say I want,
as an example of the losing the weight thing,
I would crash diet myself.
I would then just not eat that much the next day.
And I would be so painful but I would do it
because I wanna get there
as fast as possible (fingers snap)
because where I'm at right now isn't good enough.
But what I've learned to do instead is to enjoy the process.
To instead focus on the lifestyle.
What workouts can I do that I actually enjoy?
What food can I eat that's enough food that I enjoy
even if I'm in a little bit of a calorie deficit?
How can I enjoy the process along the way?
And this mindset has changed everything.
Now in the same way,
I used to make videos that I just thought
would get certain amount of views.
I'd make videos that I would get approval from people
but remember the energy from which that,
and the more I would try, the more it wouldn't come.
The less I tried, the more I'm just being myself,
the more people feel that, the more people like the content
because people feel what I feel when I'm making the videos.
But remember, 90% of all transformation is simply awareness.
And the power I wanna share with you today
is that less is more.
Subtract from your life to add more.
Subtract.
Subtract and let go of the belief you're not good enough.
Subtract and let go of the desire that you might have
that says that once I obtain this specific person,
this, that, then I can feel good.
The funny thing about like personal development
and transformation is that everything you want
already exists inside of yourself.
There's just beliefs that are there
that says once I get this then I can feel happy.
And I'm becoming aware of that in my own life in many ways
because it's like, as I've attained the level of success
that I always dreamed of,
I'm realizing that it's just like,
there's nothing that beats just feeling safe
in your own body.
There's nothing that beats just realizing
that the energy from within you is already there.
I think a lot of times we're addicted to the dopamine.
We've been psychologically programmed from society
to always seek more.
To not be good with where we are.
To desire to be compared to other people on Instagram.
To want certain clothes, certain features, certain whatever.
It's just a hypnosis that society gives us
to not feel good enough
because the marketing consumerism
fuels the industry that we live in.
Imagine that instead we just felt whole
and complete already.
And that I mean that wouldn't be good for certain brands
and certain marketings and stuff like that.
But the truth is we are.
And the more we come at it from the place
of I'm already worthy, I'm already enough.
It changes all the energy dynamics.
Then you don't have to try so hard.
So if you're finding it hard
and you feel like the worse you're making things
by like trying more and more, you can let go of trying.
It's more focusing on being.
That should be like the main focus of the video.
The lesson that you get.
And instead of the outcome.
See what happens is the more you try,
the more effort you put in,
the more you're attached to outcome.
It's become about the outcome
and the false belief that says once I get that outcome,
then I'll be happy.
Then I'll feel good enough.
And the more attached we are to that,
the more we're gonna try.
But the more attached we are,
the more we're believing the false belief
that says that this thing's actually gonna make me happy.
Whatever it is.
If it's a person, realize the person you think
is gonna make you happy,
it's just a belief that says
that this person's gonna make you happy.
That's it, it's a story.
And if it's not just that they're gonna make you happy.
It's that if you had this person
that then you would feel worthy and whole and complete.
It's just a false belief.
Remember, it's a false belief
that says that this is gonna make you happy.
But remember beliefs, stories,
they're something you can have for a period of time
but you can let them go.
They're not ingrained into reality
and it's not actually empirically true
that you could not be happy unless this person
is in your life or unless this thing is in your life.
So really what this is about is this is about letting go
of the belief, the false beliefs,
that say you're not there already.
When in actuality you have within yourself the ability
to feel the worthiness,
to feel whatever you would feel once you had this thing
you already have it inside of yourself.
But the key to this is being in the moment,
enjoying the process, and doing things
because it's who you prefer to be.
So it doesn't mean that I can't lose five pounds
but it's not being attached to the outcome.
Knowing that once I lose five pounds
it's not that then I'm worthy.
Because then what normally happens
is then I feel too skinny.
And then I feel like I need to gain muscle.
And then I go through a process of trying to bulk again,
and then it's like this cycle.
So instead, what I've learned from all of this
is to enjoy the fricking process along the way
instead of making it about this,
make it about the lifestyle,
make it about the energy I choose to embody now.
It's like, if I was like getting on YouTube back in the day,
it was like I need to make these videos to get views,
to get validation, and to get like
to get out of my nine to five job.
Well, then I'm attached to outcome.
But if I'm making videos because I enjoy it?
If I'm making videos 'cause it's who I am?
It's very different energy.
You see you do things because it's who you are
not a what it'll get you.
Then you're not attached
because even if somebody stops watching your video,
you still know that you're being
the most authentic version of you.
So the only thing that really matters
and the only process to this that will really
change your life more than anything else
is making the choice to let go of the BS,
the belief systems, the bullshit stories
that you've been telling yourself,
that you've been attached to,
that you have been hypnotized into believing
will lead to your happiness.
When in actuality none of that
will actually make you happy.
You can be happy with where you are right now.
I'm finally, finally settling in.
And knowing that my home is where I am right now.
Home is you being in your body.
I say that because you've probably seen me move to Sedona.
I lived in Sedona for six months, three months, four months.
And then I moved to Austin
and I moved into the middle of downtown
in the middle of a big like city area, busy.
And then I moved from there.
Then I moved into a different part of Austin
where it's more nature-y.
But then there are too many people.
And then I moved like four times the last couple years
because it's like, oh I'll be happy once I get this,
I'll be happy once I get this.
What I'm realizing is I have to create
that sense of happiness from within,
the sense of security from within.
And I vow to myself now to stay in this house
that I'm in now, I'm in nature.
I love this.
This house is beautiful.
It's got a nice view and stuff.
And great lighting as you guys can see.
But it's my vow to be happy with where I'm at now
because I can identify and I'm aware that what I was chasing
and why I was moving so much was
because that the dopamine.
Dopamine.
I just wanted to, oh, it's exciting to move over here.
It's excited to do this, excited to do this,
instead of just being happy with where I am in the moment.
So realize you can be happy with where you are now.
The more you try, the more you actually resist,
the more you try to control,
the more out of control you feel.
The key to this is just simply letting go.
And when you let go everything changes.
Now I do have a PDF that shows you exactly how to let go.
It's on raising your vibration.
The second step is all around letting go.
I show you my signature process for doing so.
If you haven't checked that out yet,
you could check in the the bottom of the description box
or the top of the description box.
And then also I do have a video
that's one of my most powerful videos on letting go.
It's letting go secrets.
That will make you confident AF.
Watch this video and watch how much more confident
it helps you feel.
People feel what you feel about you.
The energy inside of our bodies are contagious
and based on how we feel about ourselves
that energy is being emanated out and other people are.