- Another thing I love on tele are antiques shows.
I'm very into antiques.
I've got biscuits in my house
that are up to three hours old.
(audience laughing)
Well, two hours.
(audience laughing)
I was out for a while and it's a big packet.
Flog It, it's where people find stuff in their home to sell
for as much as possible.
Much the same as heroin addicts.
(audience laughing)
Bargain Hunt used to be presented by David Dickinson.
I don't know what age he is, bronze I think.
(audience laughing)
I don't understand the antiques roadshow.
If I wanted to watch greedy people in the queue
I'd just stay in Gregg's.
(audience laughing)
Going on the antiques roadshow
is a bit like going to an STD clinic, isn't it?
Because they ask you, where did you pick this up?
(audience laughing)
How long have you had it?
Do you mind if I look at the bottom?
(audience laughing)
I like it when the punters bring something in and say,
we've had this in a box for 120 years
and we can't work out what it does.
It's a tortoise.
(audience laughing)
Antiques Roadshow must be like
sticker collecting for the queen.
She must sit in front of it
going, got, got, need, got, swapsies.
(audience laughing)
At my old place,
I had to route around in the loft
and found loads of stuff.
I sold the lot, but the people
in the flat upstairs were livid.
(audience laughing)
Do you think in years to come,
someone will bring on a rampant rabbit?
(audience laughing)
Yes, it's been in the family.
(audience laughing)
I think it was my grandma's.
(audience laughing)
Yes, we still use it, just on special occasions.
I'm not sure you can trust what the experts are saying.
If they say it must have great sentimental value,
it's worth nothing.
If they say you'd never want to sell it, would you?
It's worth nothing.
(audience laughing)
But when they say it's priceless to you,
it's worth nothing.
(audience laughing)
Here are some things I'd like them to say
on the antiques road show.
We found this in the attic,
we don't know what it is,
it's your boiler, put it back.
(audience laughing)
Sorry, this isn't worth anything,
do you have anything else
that's been in your family for generations?
Eczema?
(audience laughing)
Today, I brought along something
that's been on the shelf for 30 years.
It's me auntie Kathleen.
(audience laughing)
Today, I brought along something
that's been in the closet for 30 years.
It's my auntie Kathleen.
(audience laughing)
She's still got the original box.
(audience cheering)
I want to find out more about antiques.
So, I thought I should speak
to one of the best in the business.
Please welcome the host of BBC One's Bargain Hunt,
it's Tim Wonnacott.
(audience cheering)
(upbeat music)
- Hello.
- Now, Bargain Hunt is on it's 32nd series.
- Yes.
I will make this year
my 1000th edition of Bargain Hunt.
- Wow and are the early ones quite valuable now, are they?
- Yeah.
(audience laughing)
Only if they're mint and boxed.
- Let's have a little look at you in action, if we may.
- What do you think about this little treasure?
Little is the word, isn't it?
It's a kind of little novelty is this thing.
I mean, I love it because the silver
has been embossed with this diagonal raised stripe,
which means it's easy to grip.
And of course it does beg the question,
what exactly is this brush used for?
My best guess is that it's a muff brush.
(audience laughing)
Every well dressed woman
at the end of the 19th century
would have had a muff
to keep her hands warm in the winter,
and she'd have used a muff brush
to give her little muff a little dusting over.
(audience clapping)
- You are so good.
You were so good at keeping a straight face.
You must have known the dual meaning of the word.
- Oh yes.
- [Sarah] Yes.
Now, you're in quite good condition, aren't you?
- I beg your pardon?
(audience laughing)
- You're in quite good condition,
and I think if we cleaned you up a bit
and scraped you down,
then you'd be quite collectible.
- Well, there's a degree
of restoration that could be done, that's true.
(audience laughing)
- Really?
(laughing)
I like that.
Do you still have your original drawers?
(audience laughing)
- They're all impeccably lined, I can promise.
(audience laughing)
- He's good, isn't he good?
(audience laughing)
How often do you polish your tall boy?
(audience laughing)
(audience clapping)
- Did you say how often do I polish my toe ball?
(audience laughing)
- Tall boy.
(audience laughing)
- My tall boy?
- [Sarah] Yes.
Sorry, is it an accent thing?
Should I do it in you?
How often do you polish your tall boy?
(audience laughing)
- I rather thought you might've said,
how often does one polish one's tall boy?
(audience cheering)
- Taking potshots.
(audience laughing)
I can't win, I can't win.
- Not often.
- I have a large, but beautifully proportioned chest.
Would you like to appraise it?
(audience laughing)
That's my usual chat up line, to be fair.
- Yes.
Appraisal is everything, isn't it?
It's a question of colour, form, quality.
- Clear, it's sort of purpley, motley blue,
bits of blue come in.
- Does this depend on the temperature or what?
- Pretty much, it does change with the temperature.
- [Tim] Does it?
- Yeah.
If they're warm, if it's warm...
(audience laughing)
(audience clapping)
What would you recommend I start collecting
as like a future antique?
Is there something you can recommend?
Because I have got a signed George Foreman grill.
(audience laughing)
I'm just saying, I'm not bragging.
I'm just saying.
- Have you ever used it?
- Have I ever used it?
(audience laughing)
Yes.
- Well, that's a shame really.
- [Sarah] Oh, really?
It needs to be clean and untouched and in a box.
- Probably, yes.
- Okay.
What I really want to know is,
are happy meal toys actually worth anything?
(audience laughing)
Or is that just rubbish
like the thing with the beanie babies?
(audience laughing)
- Happy male toys.
- Happy meal, not happy male.
- What's a happy male toy?
(audience laughing)
- I know what a happy male is.
(audience laughing)
- I have to say, I'm not a happy meal toy expert valuer.
I'd have to go to a person who knew more about it.
- Yes.
- Some large person.
(audience laughing)
- Understood.
- Probably.
- What's your house like?
Imagine it's like me on boxing day,
just full of crap you can't shift.
(audience laughing)
- I regard it as a lot of treasures actually.
But yeah, I'm afraid it's a fair old crush.
- [Sarah] Really?
Thank you so much, Tim.
You've been really great.
But I couldn't let you go
without asking you to give me a valuation
on a few bits of mine, is that all right?
- You brought your bits with you?
- I brought my bits with us.
Do you mind?
- This is an invitation that I can't refuse.
(laughing)
- Ladies and gentlemen, Tim Wonnacott.
(audience clapping)
(upbeat music)
(audience clapping)
(mumbles), thank you.
Thank you, excuse me.
Thanks for doing this, Tim.
I mean, I'm not an expert like you,
but I think I have got a good eye.
You don't mind this, do you?
- No, no, no, no, it's meat and drink.
- Okay, let's start with this one.
Now, to be honest, this has just
been hanging on my downstairs loo wall.
What do you think?
- Well.
(audience laughing)
- I like the way his nipples
follow you around the room.
(audience laughing)
- That antique's going to be a huge seller, frankly.
- Really?
- No.
What's next?
- Okay, hush.
(audience laughing)
I've got some furniture.
- Oh yes.
- It's Scandinavian in origin I think.
- Now, these Danish designs are very, very popular.
- Okay.
Well, it's still in the original box, as you can see.
(audience laughing)
It's never been assembled, mint condition.
What do you think?
- I don't think it's quite my cup of tea, thanks very much.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- It's all right.
I've still got a few bits.
- Get your swag bag.
- Get me bag out.
I've got a dead parrot here.
(audience laughing)
It's a Norwegian Blue.
(audience laughing)
Lovely plumage.
- Excuse me.
I'll have that.
- Oi.
(audience cheering)
Now what.
- This is Cliff Richard's Wired For Sound.
It's a classic from 1981.
It's my favourite record of all time.
- And that would be just priceless for you, wouldn't it?
(audience laughing)
(audience clapping)
- I have got one more thing.
- Uh-oh.
(audience laughing)
(audience clapping)
- This is my muff brush.
(audience laughing)
I'll do a little demonstration,
I knew you were a bit puzzled before.
Like a downward motion,
and all the way out to get all the mats out, all the tugs.
(audience laughing)
What do you think?
- Your muff brush is a good deal bigger than mine.
(audience laughing)
- Do you think it might be worth something?
- It is now.
(audience laughing)
- Just hold it by the handle because it's still a bit...
- [Tim] Yes, exactly.
(audience laughing)
(laughing)
(audience clapping)
- Thank you very much for coming on the show.
Ladies and gentlemen, Tim Wonnacott.
Hello, I'm Sarah Millican
and thanks very much for watching my videos.
I'm going on tour with
a brand new show called Bobby Dazzler.
For all the information about where I'm going and when,
go to SarahMillican.co.uk.
Thanks.