So you wanna be cool like me-this guy...
Well, lemme tell you, it ain't coming easy boy...( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
You can't just walk up and be like "hey, I'm cool"..
I know what you're thinking. "How did he get so uh... cool?" (⌐■_■)
"How did he... get so... fresh?"
"and... how does he stay so humble?"
Instructional Videos
♫One, two, three! I grab the key to my daughter's ride...♫
♫And took my girl down by the riverside♫
♫I'm goin' up. Upside down, I'm goin' up! Upside down.♫
Owh (⌐■_■)
Instruction man: and then sit on a couch or a chair upside down
Instruction man: in this position your chin is the
instruction man: performer's nose. Now the key to making- Felix: HOLY SHIT!
Instruction man: upside-down face look like it's really singing
Instruction man: is to cover your lower teeth with your lower lip Felix: That's so cool!
Instruction man: and expose your upper teeth
Instruction man: with your upper lip!
Instruction man: Then cut loose.
Instruction man: This will take some practice,
Instruction man: but you'll soon be showing off the hits to your friends, like this!
♫One, two, three! I grab the key to my daughter's ride...♫
Oh, it looks so good..
*airhorn*
Hey whatsup dawg, it's ya boi, Jackseptic-ugh!
*airhorn*
It's DJ Kha-
♫Funky music♫
Instruction man: *Vocal drum noises* XD
Oh my god... oh my god
Number one, why does he look like me?
*dramatic sound*
Number two, why is he cringey like me?
♫Funky music♫
Instruction man: *Vocal drum noises*
It's your friendly neighborhood Pewdiepie here!
Number three, is that my dad?!
That's my dad!
♫Funky music♫
Instruction man: *Vocal drum noises*
*Felix show up his talent*
Anyway guys! *laughs*
He's going to talk about beat boxing, please.
Please talk about beat boxing.
MAN: ...beatbox- FELIX: YES! :)
MAN: I have my own theme music when I walk, right?
*beatbox*
He has his own theme music, when he
walks. He has his own theme music, thank you.
*Felix imitates the man beat boxing*
This guy's so fucking slick.
This is like the cooler version of me just look
at him. MAN: I have my own theme music when I
walk. Who has a theme thsong - song for when
they walk. I bet you don't have.
*beat boxing* (pls stahp XD)
I bet his hair is not naturally blonde like mine
though. MAN: When I walk in the street, *deep voice* I'm
looking good. FELIX: *shouting* What ?! Who is this guy and why is he
me?! Get away from me, what the fuck.
*laughing*
What is happening? What is happening? I can't
Now here's how you can make your own
beatbox sound. FELIX: Ok. MAN: First practice doing a
"bUH" sound, explosively as you can.
FELIX: Alright. MAN: Here it is.
bUH BUH BUH BUH
FELIX: buh buh buh buh
Alright, alright what else? MAN: Try that.
BOTH: bUH buh buh
MAN: Now make a hard "kay" out in the back of your mouth.
Kuh kuh *Felix joins in* kuh kuh
Now, put the two together, and you get this.
*Felix tries to mimic him but starts laughing*
Now, you- FELIX: What am I supposed to do
it together what the fuck
*beat boxing*
*deep voice* See I think it's party time.
*beat boxing* FELIX: *on top of the beat boxing* Ah the cringe
*beat boxing*
FELIX: What is happening?
*beat boxing*
*Felix beat boxing*
*very smol gun noise* *Felix groans*
*laughing*
You always time it so badly.
See i think it's party time
FELIX: *making fun of the way he said it* See i think it's party time
*beatboxing* (pewds spit coming out)
Break it down. B-b-b-brea- break it down now.
to me now eager(??) now
*repeated airhorns and Felix beat boxing with the man talking in the background*
*my name is Jeff clip plays over everything else*
I've learned- I've learned so much already. Honestly, like
I feel indulged. I feel like- I feel like my
life is better. BOY: Now here's a quick one
you can do while waiting for your
hamburger to be served. FELIX: All right. Fine,
I've been looking for a long time for a
quick one when my hamburger is getting
served. Okay let's see why- what else do
you got cuz the string trick.. I don't
think you can beat the string trick. The
string trick it ahAH Fuck, it scared me. BOY: ..aaand,
the Big Finish ... ta-dah.
♫One, two, three♫
BOY: First, crinkle down the paper
so take(??) it from the top, and
you crinkle up from the bottom. FELIX: *yelling* Ohhh!!
BOY: 'Til you get a nice, tight coil.
FELIX: Why the sexy porn music?
BOY: Next, get a drop of water or other- some other
kind of beverage, drop on the ... wrapper, and
voila, straw worm.
Okay, so ,our fans, watch out
now for the incredible- FELIX: *over the boy* Oh my gawwwd
*clap* Dude,
I'm going to get a burger right fucking now to try
out that string worm shit, cuz that's-
that's just not cool. That's.. science cool
♫One, two, three♫
♫I grab the key to my daughter's ride♫
MAN: -vanish into thin air.
FELIX: It's going to vanish into
thin air. How?!
How is it going to do it? I'm going to
MAN: I'm gonna show you how to do this.
FELIX: He's gonna
show us how to do it!
*whispering* Fuck. Yes. Yes... Yes. Okay, alright(??)
*puppy barks to the Illuminati theme*
MAN: We are.. on this side
of the stairs, or on this- FELIX: Wait then where's the
stairs?
MAN: It's not a stairs, is it? It's a hedge.
And over there is somebody else, and they
don't know what's going to happen, and
what we're going to do is walk down the hedge-
*Felix starts laughing*
It just hit me like, this is the
kind of shit that I-I remember too when I
was a kid like, pre-internet. This is
pre-internet area, you would do shit like
this and it would be like, "Dawg, that is
the coolest shit I have ever seen." Today
it's like, "Hey have you seen this gif?" *laughs*
MAN: Like this, we take a step behind, we bend
the knee. The body stays straight. We
take another step, we go down a little
further. We take another step, we go down
a little further, until finally, we're
down here. Now if we get down here and
you still have a ways to go, you can fake
the rest of it with your upper body in
your head like this... until you disappear.
FELIX: Holy shit, that's- Okay i gotta try this.
I gotta try this, I gotta try this one.
Okay, do you see- You don't, you don't see me now. Okay,
*cheerful tone* Hey, guys! It's me, Felix, going downstairs. *laughs*
I thought it looked cool. I don't know,
whatever.
WOMAN:: *thud* OHH. Ah.. ah, *sniff*
Now the secret to this one-
FELIX: Wait, wh-
She didn't get hurt.
That's hilarious, pinnacle of comedy.
Door face slam. Why have I not
thought of that? I don't even have a door.
I need to install a door.
WOMAN: -foot in front of
you as you exit, so that you kick the
door. Then pretend that you've just
walked into it headfirst! Now first,
practice this slowly and carefully to
get your timing right, and then, add in a
real loud *groans* so that you fool everyone.
FELIX: This is why parents are so cringy, I
they- they've been trained by these people.
WOMAN: And make sure you're wearing your shoes on
this one.
*thud* Oof, ohhh. Ohhh
FELIX: Dude, that's so goofy. That's
so crazy. Loo- Look oh good.
*thud*
Was that- I- Okay, I
need to practice a little bit. All right- *chuckle*
All right, guys, this has been this season.
*thud*
OhhHh.
WOMAN: Hey, little boy! Hey! *woman makes weird growling noises*
*frantic tone* Hey! Get back! *continues growling*
Get back! Get back!
MAN'S VOICE: Now how does she do that?
FELIX: Now how did she do that?
Are they (I can't tell what he says here, sorry)
How?
WOMAN: Pretend.. that you have a dog, pulling
on your pant leg. So you position
yourself behind the door.
*Felix starts chuckling*
I can- *laughs*
I can literally imagine, like, myself, like 12,
watching this and thinking like, "That's
hilarious. I gotta try that." And then you
try it off, and then it's just the cringiest
thing ever, and then it's the kind of
thing that y-you regret, literally, your
whole life. 26 years ol- 27, you still
remember that one moment that you did
this thing you thought would be cool but
it's literally just.. cringey piece of shit
and you look like a moron.
♫Taking away.. but I don't know what- what to say-♫ aAaahhh
WOMAN: Like this: *starts growling*
Get down or-! *growling*
Get- Get back! *growling*
*thud*
*whispering* Oh my god, the cringe, the cringe is real.
MAN: Wherever I go, I always take my bicycle
horn with me. *honk*
WHHHAT
Wait a minute.
How'd he dO that?
*honk*
MAN: And the sensory(??)
Alfonso the Finger!
One(??) of a long line of
finer contortionists- FELIX: Wait, what is he doing?
MAN: -Alfonso is about to perform the
amazing finger tangle. FELIX: The finger tangle.
MAN: Now, let's see that amazing feat quickly! FELIX: Okay.
MAN: -n slow motion. FELIX: Quickly in slow motion. Okay.
MAN: See how Alfonso the Finger switches his two
index fingers to make this fabulous feat
..work.
♫One, two, three♫
FELIX: *singing* Taaaake ooon meee