in this video you will learn why some men change as soon as you fall in love
with them you're also going to find out exactly what to do to turn things around
and have him chasing you like he did before so if you're in a relationship
with a man who changed as soon as you caught feelings for him then this is the
video for you don't go anywhere because we're starting right now hi everyone I'm
Dr. Antonio Borrello and I'm a psychologist and a relationship coach.
this channel is all about helping you build great relationships so you can
grow happy with the people you love so if you're interested in making your love
life the best part of your life start now by clicking the subscribe button and
hit the bell notification so you aren't missing anything okay why a man changes
just as soon as you fall in love with him so let me set the scene for you
because very often these situations start off in a very specific way and the
way it starts off has a lot to do with the outcome here too so here's the scene
you meet this man in person not online or through an app it's a man that you
may have been introduced to through a friend or maybe someone you meet through
work but generally it's a man who expresses a strong interest in you he's
hitting on you asking you out and at first you feel unsure if you want to go
out with him you're not sure if he's your type or you're not interested and
perhaps you even turn him down for a date but this guy doesn't take no for an
answer he calls you he texts you he's
persistent and is really showing you that he wants to date you and he doesn't
give up so after some time you eventually agree
in you go out with him and you have a really good time on the date things go
really well he's really attentive and affectionate in you have a great time
when you're together and he wants to go out again he texts you he calls you he's
super thoughtful he wants to see you a lot and he's showing you that you are a
priority and slowly but surely you're letting your guard down and really
opening up to the possibility that this could be a great relationship he makes
you feel like the most important woman in the world
planning fun dates he's thoughtful he's sharing his feelings he's always telling
you how she likes you how special you are to him
and although you feel like it's happening so fast
you're starting to feel very connected to him and of course you begin to lower
your walls and you're falling for him and you begin to also open and trust him
with your feelings and so now you are beginning to initiate communications
with him you begin to text him more and to call him and you're sharing your
feelings with him and then boom all of a sudden one day he tells you that he
doesn't want to be in a committed relationship he tells you that he's not
ready for anything exclusive he tells you that he can't promise you anything
it's like suddenly and out of nowhere something changes and he's not as
interested as he was before and you don't know why or how to fix things if
you've had this experience of a man losing interest in changing just as you
began to have feelings you know how terrible it is it's like this guy works
so hard to get your attention to get you to like him it was like he was the
perfect boyfriend and then when he knows that he has you he no longer wants you
he stops texting and calling as much he's not as
affectionate as he was before he doesn't want to make plans this weekend whatever
it is you can sense it and it feels horrible in the pit of your stomach
why is he losing interest and what can you do to get him back to the way he was
well here are the likely reasons number one it probably has nothing to do with
you in fact the only part of this situation that you're responsible for is
agreeing to go out with him in the first place
nevertheless you are still going to start questioning everything replaying
your interactions over and over trying to figure out what happened was it
something I said did he learn something about me that he doesn't like why did he
suddenly change as soon as I fell for him and if you can't figure it out
that's because it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him
there are things about him that make him do this
probably over and over again and I'm going to explain those things in a
second but you have to trust me on this one if you can't figure out what it is
it's because it has nothing to do with you number two he's addicted to the
honeymoon phase the honeymoon stage of a relationship is that magical time
when everything is new and exciting some people consider this the best part
of a relationship this period features high levels of passionate love intense
feelings of attraction and ecstasy as well as idealization of your partner and
these strong emotions appear physically as well people experience butterflies in
their stomach heart palpitations nervous excitement and researchers have studied
the brains of people falling in love using MRI scans and they've found that
falling in love activates pleasure centers of the brain and these pleasure
areas light up dramatically when you're falling in love this brain activation is
the same feeling cocaine gives you yes love and cocaine affect your brain in
similar ways and just like cocaine romantic love can become an addiction
and despite the fact that it feels so good no relationship can feel new and
exciting forever in fact the honeymoon period tends to
only last between six months and a year then that initial magic starts to fade
the rush you got when your partner enter the room disappears and everything just
seems less exciting but most people expect this as the natural progression
of a relationship things settle down a bit and the focus of the relationship is
on growing together becoming closer becoming companions focusing on the
future they focus on the commitment but those who are addicted to the honeymoon
phase well to them the end of the honeymoon phase signals the end of the
relationship because commitment to them is boring commitment means that they can
no longer have their drug of choice instead they are so addicted to the
honeymoon phase that they try to experience it over and over again with
someone new they become completely obsessed with the excitement of a new
kiss or a new love interest a new challenge they need someone better they
need something new and if you aren't giving them the thrill that they want
they can walk in and out of your life without a second thought
number three he's addicted to the chase remember earlier when I described how
the relationship began the guy being very interested in a woman
she was not super interested in him the guy who kept on pursuing and pursuing
the guy who refuses to give up despite her initial rejections of him yeah that
guy the guy who doesn't want to take no for an answer
those guys are addicted to the chase you see most men will flirt with a woman he
measures her interest in him and if he feels like she's giving him hints if
she's flirting back well then he continues that eventually he asks her
out if she agrees then they go on a date now let's say the woman is not
interested but the guy misinterprets her friendly behavior for flirting let's say
he asked her out and she rejects him do you think he's going to ask her again do
you think that most men are going to continue and continue to ask her out are
they going to keep asking her and flirting with her and hitting on her
until she says yes or are they going to give up I can tell you most men will
accept no for an answer and they'll just move on but not the guys who are
addicted to the chase they can't accept no for an answer it's a challenge and
they feel that they must win and once they do they're off to their next victim
okay so let's say that you're dealing with one of these guys who have these
addictions how can you turn them around how can you be the woman that changes
all of that for them well it doesn't always work but if you're going to be
the woman who keeps him this is the way that you've got to do it number one
you've got to allow him to pursue you that means that you have to stop
pursuing him that means that you have to stop texting him that means that you
cannot be initiating communications with him instead you must let him do it look
I know that this is difficult to do because when you like him you miss him
and you want to talk to him it's hard not to reach out because you want to be
connected and communicating but if you want a man to really want you you must
pull away and allow him to miss you allow him to pursue you he's a man and
he needs to do that so do not initiate calls or text to him and I didn't say
ignore him or stop communicating I'm saying stop being the one that's always
looking for him and starting communications oh and make him wait
before you return his calls and texts I understand the urge to respond back
immediately especially if you've been waiting to hear from him for a while but
taking some time before responding to his contact sends the message that you
are busy and not just sitting by your phone waiting for him to reach out have
patience and take your time before responding doing so will certainly
increase his yearning for you number to prioritize you and be a high-value woman
how do you do that the answer is pretty simple be yourself and make yourself a
priority and demonstrate that you are a high-value woman cultivate your own rich
life one that he would be fortunate to be a part of take care of yourself and
do the things that you like to do and make plans to do things for you each and
every week and grow and enrich your relationships with your friends and
family and continue to engage in the practice of self-love and when you do
you become a woman who exudes inner confidence and high self esteem you
become a woman that knows that she has choices when it comes to men instead of
acting from a place of fear and control and scarcity and treating him as if he
were your last chance at love let him win your affection and love number three
be willing to walk away you must be willing to walk away from someone and
something if it isn't working stop entertaining his half-hearted
attempts to show you that he really cares so if a man is not showing you the
love and affection that you expect don't complain about it don't nag or fight
with him that's not going to change anything
instead take away your attention and be willing to walk away if he has any kind
of real desire for you he will pull out all the stops to get you back but again
he must know that he has to change or he's going to lose you that's not
something that you need to tell him it needs to be demonstrated in your
behavior he needs to feel that you aren't willing to settle that you aren't
going to tolerate behaviors or actions of his that you don't agree with so he
has to be afraid that he will lose you if he doesn't step up his game
and he will only experience this if he knows that you are willing and able to
walk away from something that isn't right for you remember this channel is
all about helping you build great relationships so you can grow happy with
the people you love make sure that you're subscribed so you
aren't missing any of our new videos thanks for watching I'll see you in the
next video