(upbeat electronic music)
- One big story that went viral last month
was from the UK.
Where a hundred-year-old man raised $40 million
doing a charity walk in his garden.
And now, the UK is saying to him,
good on you chap.
- [Reporter] A hundred-year-old veteran in Great Britain
will receive a knighthood.
He'll be knighted for helping frontline workers
during the coronavirus pandemic.
Captain Tom Moore raised more than $40 million
for Britain's National Health Service
by just walking around, walking laps around his garden,
using a walker like you see right here.
And that effort captivated the nation.
- Oh, this is fantastic.
This 100 year old man is gonna become a knight,
which is the highest British honor
you can receive outside of Star Baker.
And I'm not surprised this man is concerned
with how the Queen's gonna handle that sword.
I mean, we all saw how she stabbed
Meghan Markle in the back.
You don't know what she's capable of.
I just call a wait for him to meet all the other knights
once this pandemic is over.
I'm Sir Tom Moore.
Knighted for raising $40 million for the NHS.
And I'm Sir Mix-a-Lot.
I was knighted for telling the truth
about how much I like big butts!
But this goes to show you two things.
One, when it comes to helping, your age doesn't matter.
Anybody can help.
And two, people in every country around the world
are really desperate for sports right now.
Because clearly, people in England were like,
look, it's no Olympics,
but I've heard there's an old man
who's walking around his house every day,
might be quite entertaining.
Are you shitting me?
I would pay 10 pounds to 100 pounds to watch that.
That sounds bloody exciting!
(upbeat electronic music)
Do you sometimes wish
that you could say "screw safety!
I'm just gonna grab all my friends
and run wild through the streets!"?
Well, it turns out you're not the only one.
- Invasion of the goats.
That was the scene in one neighborhood
after a herd of goats got loose.
The goats managed to knock over an electric fence
and took a leisurely stroll through the streets.
Neighbors had to open up a side gate
and lead the goats back where they were supposed to be.
Nobody was hurt, but there was some minor damage.
- [Man] Hey, hey, hey!
Get outta here.
Go, go, go.
- Holy shit!
Did you see that?
Not one of those goats is wearing a mask!
Oh-ho, Fauci's not gonna be happy.
I will say though,
those goats are tempting fate running through the streets
like that, when there's a meat shortage in the country.
Yeah, 'cause they can run wild in the suburbs.
But if they try that shit in the Bronx,
my Jamaican peeps will turn them into a curry like that.
(he laughs) What's this?
Look here, a first time goat deliver themselves!
Who ordered Goatmates?
But, look, man.
It's clear to see what's happening here.
Humans have stayed inside for too long
and now animals have forgotten who's boss.
And you realize what that means, when lockdown is over,
we're gonna have to fight them to take back our streets.
Yeah, as soon as quarantine ends,
the first goat I see I'm gonna be like,
ay, yo, goat!
Get into the plastic, we handling this like men!
(upbeat electronic music)
The Catholic church.
The place that was rocking robes long before Corona.
Now, they're known for sticking to old traditions,
but in these Corona times,
even priests are learning to innovate.
- One priest in Michigan may have found
the most unique way to connect with parishioners
and social distance at the same time.
Photos posted on social media
by Saint Ambrose Church shows the Reverend
using a squirt gun to shoot Holy water.
As you can see, drivers pulled up to the church steps
and are greeted by the Reverend,
who's wearing a face mask, gloves,
and holding a bright green gun.
He told Buzzfeed News for an article over the weekend
that he was a bit concerned
about how the Vatican might react
when the photos of him squirting Holy water
began circulating widely on the internet,
but he says, quote, I haven't heard anything yet.
- Okay, hold up.
Water gun blessings?
That might finally be the thing
that gets the church's numbers to go back up again.
And it's a great way for other Catholic priests
to explain why they have a bunch of kids' toys
in their basements.
The only way this could be more fun
is if they did it with a water balloon.
Because that way you could watch it in slow motion
and see the exact moment when your sins are absolved.
I'm saved! (water splashing)
You know, this also opens the Catholic church
to much cooler scenes in movies.
You know, because normally,
the Catholic priest is always timid
and all they can do is pray.
But now when they meet a demon,
they can be like, say hello to my little friend!
Squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt,
squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt!
(upbeat electronic music)
- Facebook, the world's largest social network,
and elderly TikTok, is bringing millions of users together
in a really unexpected way.
- More than a million people are spending time,
during quarantine, pretending to be ants.
- So this Facebook group is called
"Group Where We All Pretend To Be Ants In A Colony."
Look at one of the posts here,
ants crawling on ice cream.
One person says "Munch with me
and then take some to the queen."
You can see the comments, say "nom",
"slurp" and "lift to queen".
- Okay. This is...
This is really interesting.
To take their minds off of the stress of Corona,
millions of Facebook users are pretending to be ants.
And you thought you were the only one in quarantine,
feeling a little, antsy. (he chuckles)
Back to you, Sandra!
Look, man, I get it. I get it.
Who wouldn't want to live the carefree life
of an ant, right?
You spend all your time carrying crumbs
5,000 times your body weight
until the day some asshole kid steps on you
because he's bored, sounds like a dream.
Now I know a lot of people are just having fun,
but please remember,
whenever there's something really fun on Facebook,
there's a good chance it's created by the Russians.
Let's all pretend to be ants.
We bring sugar to queen.
Then we not vote for Joe Biden.
(upbeat electronic music)
My favorite story comes out of Pennsylvania.
Where a 93 year old woman stuck in her house,
held a sign out of her window saying,
I need more beer.
And then after a picture went viral,
Coors sprang into action
and delivered her 10 cases of beer.
And I'm really excited that this worked for her
because I've tried the same thing.
Yeah, I've had a sign outside my window
for weeks and I've gotten nothing.
And this just shows
that you can't judge a book by its cover.
Because we always think that old people
are just sitting around,
doing boring things like knitting or Sudoku
or reminiscing about having sex on the Titanic.
But this story changes everything.
We've gotta think of old people differently.
They're living life.
In fact, I think they need to add a different setting
to those Life Alert necklaces.
Mrs. Fletcher, are you okay? Did you fall?
No, I'm out of booze and I can't get crunk.
(upbeat electronic music)
Every day, we're hearing about
how animals are thriving without us.
But in Japan, it turns out
that there are some animals that just miss our face.
- A Japanese aquarium is asking people
to make video calls to their eels.
Why?
It's all to remind the sensitive creatures humans exist
and don't pose a threat.
With a largely human free environment
the last couple months, aquarium staff say
when keepers try to check on the garden eels,
they hide in the sand.
In a bid to reacquaint the eels with humans,
the aquarium is setting up five tablets
and asking eel enthusiasts to connect via FaceTime.
- That's right, because there haven't been any visitors
at the zoo, the zoo wants people
to video chat with the eels
so that they remember humans,
and don't view them as a threat when people come back.
Yeah.
Although if you ask me,
reminding the eels about humans
will have the opposite effect.
Why is the ocean so small?
Oh, right. The humans put us in a water zoo.
Oh, and you know what the good news is?
Eels are perfectly designed for video chats.
Yeah, because if anyone tries to flash their penis
on these Zoom calls,
the eels, they're not gonna be phased.
They'll just be like, ha, look at that.
Another eel on the call, a very strange eel.
So small and so pale. He must be sick.
(upbeat electronic music)