*sits down in the chair*
Let's just see. Let's just...let's just see.
We saw the photos, um, which were pretty atrocious, but uh, maybe in motion --
Maybe they have like, uh, like a CGI, uh...situation.
Like how on Avatar they made the people blue, um, cuz they didn't wanna make them Black
people, you know, we all -- we all knew Avatars was Black.
This...this freeze frame they got as the thumbnail.
Ah! Hmmph.
They got Zoe Saldana on here lookin' like...
*sigh*
Lookin' like Norbit? What's that Eddie Murphy movie?
Okay. *music soundrack starts*
Aye! David Oyelowo! That's my cousin
♫ Black is the color...♫
*kisses teeth*
♫ Of my true love's hair ♫
"Do you know who I am?"
No! We don't know who you are! Who is you? Who is you? *chuckles*
"My mother used to listen to you." "Nina Simone!"
"*applause*"
Oh no! Freeze it right there!
This is disrespectful.
Why her face look like paper mache. Hmm?!
Her face look like paper mache.
*sighs*
Continue.
♫ movie sound track ♫ The name you know...
"I'll pay you $2,000 a month"
The story you don't.
"In return you take care of all my affairs. Plane leaves at 9am. Ask ya mama!"
♫ movie soundtrack ♫
"Get some champagne and bring it upstairs." "I brought you some food and medication"
THIS IS BAD.
"I didn't ask for any of that."
♫ movie soundtrack ♫
I wanna know in that scene, cuz all they did was get, like NW...what's the darkest MAC
color? All they did was put that on. How did it not wash off? Did she use like, uh, setting...a
setting spray?
♫ movie soundtrack ♫
"She's a complicated lady." *smashes objects*
"Tell him to give me my money!"
"Drinks. Smokes. She's out of shape."
*bottle breaks*
"Wanna go to the gym?" "Hahah - no!"
Oh no!!!
"Why are playing in front of 100 people and not 20,000?"
"I'm tired." "No one wants--"
Hold up, hold up.
♫ music soundtrack ♫
Oh n--...oh no!!
Nah.
"I'll you what freedom means to me. No fear!"
"If didn't have that fill half of my life - no fear - that's the only way that I can describe it.''
Then they gave her these veneers, Lord Jesus.
"Hahaha...what does that have to do with playing music?"
*slaps knee*
None of these people have friends. They won't listen to us, cuz of course we're just haters,
you feel what I'm saying, like we just don't know what's good. And we're just, like, denying
her her blackness, you know what I'm saying. We don't know what we're talking about.
But if you have friends. I feel like you don't have friends, Zoe Saldana and whoever made
this movie.
Lil Mama as Left Eye, may she also rest in peace, was better than this.
"My mother used to listen to you." "Nina Simone!"
The thing is, she don't even--
This is framed as if this is later in her life. She don't even look old, much less like
Nina Simone. So you're telling me y'all couldn't even get the age...the wh--- what was the
makeup budget?
This is unacceptable. My people - hey! - we are so forgiving. We will forgive and forgive
and forgive. We just wanna know why. Why Zoe Saldana? What everybody else booked?
All they did was get some Covergirl Queen Collection in True Ebony - that's my color,
that's my shade - slap it on her, put some setting spray, you know they watched a couple
YouTube tutorials.
Let's paper mache this nose onto you, and call it a day! Boop boop boop!
After seeing "What Happened, Miss Simone?" How da-- after seeing that documentary, how
dare you go see this one?
I'm judging you! Ima let you know right now, I'm judging you. I just wanted to be sure,
you know? I couldn't come to y'all, tell y'all what I thought without being sure. And I am
sure. I am sure that this is shi--
In the comments below, let me know your thoughts! The link to the trailer will be below, and
hey -- we gotta do better. Not even we! I don't even claim this, shoot.
See you on the internet somewhere. Bye!