Keeping up with the Joneses in 2015 means, an overpriced apartment with a white picket
fence, no kids, maybe a dog and a great sex life.
But what does that last one even look like?
Hey Joneses, Julia here for DNews
You’re always looking over the fence to check in on the neighbors, how are they doing?
How does my life compare against theirs?
Do I have the right TV, the right laptop?
But what about what goes on behind closed doors?
How will you ever know if you’re having enough sex?
But like, what is the “normal” amount of sex to have?
It’s really hard to know.
Studies about sex are mostly about heterosexual couples and some are even sponsored by some
company.
And sex surveys probably aren’t super accurate, because well, people lie.
People in relationships might beef up their bedroom habitats.
Men might add a few trysts to their list, while women might underreport.
So take these results with a grain of salt.
One survey from the Durex Condom Company found that 53% of Americans claim to have sex once
a week, which is close to what other studies have found.
According to the General Social Survey, on average straight men over 18 have sex 63 times
a year, so that’s like a little more than once a week.
Straight women over 18 say they have a little less sex, 55 times a year.
But it depends on a few obvious factors, like age and relationship status.
Data from the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior from Indiana University shows
that young couples do it like they do on the Discovery Channel, more often than single
people.
But these numbers deal with vaginal sex, it doesn’t take into account the wide variety
of sexual behavior.
Almost 46 percent of married men ages 18 to 24 report having sex 2 to 3 times a week.
Compared to single men their own age, 57 percent of which haven’t had sex in the past year.
While men in their late 20s, both married and in relationships, had sex a little less
often, a few times a month to once a week.
As for women in the same age range, for both partnered and married, pretty similar story.
32% of 18 to 24 year old women in relationships had sex a few times a week.
But for women a little older, they have slightly less sex, 48% of married women got it on a
few times a month or once a week.
But that’s still more than their single friends, 50% of single women 18-24 and 43%
of single women 25 to 29 haven’t had sex in the past year.
The same goes for queer women in relationships too.
One survey from queer women’s site Autostraddle found that about 35% of women in relationships
had sex a few times a week.
While their single friends had less sex.
And according to a Match.com’s Singles In America study, that’s what most men and
women want, getting busy about 2 or 3 times a week.
And that’s just enough, not too much.
On the other hand only 15 percent of men and 12 percent of women wanted to have sex every
day.
And that’s about how often the happiest couples do the deed according to some sources.
But some researchers, like Acacia Parks, an assistant professor of psychology at Hiram
College think that happiness leads to more sex, not the other way around.
So will more sex make you more happy?
Probably not.
One study published in the Journal of Economic Behavior & Organization, found that having
more sex doesn’t make you any happier.
In fact making the beast with two backs more often leave you wanted it less and finding
it less enjoyable.
Not to mention that fussing about how much sex is “right” or “healthy” or “normal”
might make things worse!
One study published in the journal Social Indicators Research found that happiness about
the amount of “getting busy” you're doing depends on how much sex you think OTHER PEOPLE
are having.
The large study of over 15,000 people found that the more you believe you’re keeping
up with the Joneses boning next door, the happier you are.
The researchers agreed that in general people were happier the more they had sex.
Like those people who are having sex at least two to three times a month were 33 percent
more likely to report a higher level of happiness than those who reported having no sex during
the last year and those that have sex once a week were 44 percent more likely.
And those who had sex frequently, two to three times a week, were 55 percent more likely
to report a higher level of happiness.
BUT that level of satisfaction decreased if they thought other people, like those in their
peer group were having more sex than them.
So maybe stop asking if you’re having “enough” sex.
Stopping looking over your neighbor’s fence.
And start asking if you’re happy?
Is your partner happy?
And really it’s all about quality over quantity people.
And just you know, you do you.