♪♪
Congratulations, team, on the successful release
of our 10,000th Star Wars film,
The epic story of Hans' seventh cousin, twice-removed.
[clapping]
Well done.
Now,
as profitable as the Star Wars franchise has been to Disney,
I think we can all agree it's time to move on,
to pursue a more meaningful endeavor.
[laughing]
Stop it!
Oh, oh, oh. You had me going.
[continues laughing]
But seriously, I need ten new Star Wars films before lunch.
Adam:
I know
but what if
exchanging some oversized robes?
We could call it "Returns of the Jedi."
I love it.
Next!
A shot-for-shot remake of
a smaller Darth Vader.
That
But, as Yoda once said, "Do or do not,
as long as money it makes."
[chuckling]
I also propose
and replace the Jawas with CGI Lucases.
Utini!
Yes, yes,
Okay, now, speaking of
in
Uh,
because they didn't go into enough detail.
Exactly.
Now, how about we Magic School Bus this thing
and we have a cartoon Qui-Gon Jinn in a microscopic spaceship
inside Anakin explaining how the Force works.
Yes.
Real nerds will love it for the science,
and fake nerds will love it
for Star Wars.
But how do we attract the jocks?
We make a sports-themed movie
about an undersized 7'3" Catholic Wookie
whose only
called
Yes!
Now what other completely original ideas do we have?
Sixty-five million years ago in a galaxy far, far away,
Darth Maul's great-great-
by a
which is then preserved in space tree sap,
until a space scientist
We
Wow.
Wow. These are great, guys, but,
there is one incredibly obvious idea
that, honestly, I'm kind of ashamed you've all overlooked.
We've thought of everything.
There are no ideas left in the idea Jar Jar.
Meesa back.
Does this photo look familiar?
James:
And we've created an individual film
for each one of these stormtroopers.
Jason: Even him?!
Argh!
Oh!
How could
This left foot belonged to someone,
and just because that someone is a clone,
with an identical backstory to everyone else,
doesn't mean that we can treat him like he was a piece
of Bantha poo-doo.
Especially considering
with just the opening crawl.
So we give him a trilogy.
So we give him a saga.
But we start with film four,
then five, then two,
eight,
six,
and finally seven, which we split into three parts.
[clapping]
All right. Yes.
Hey, sorry to interrupt, but Pixar just called.
They need ideas for Cars 4.
Jason:
Pixar's gettin' desperate.
[laughing]
One, two, three, four.
How do you make a sequel?
Uh, Wall-E 2!
Tori, you're new here.
Mm-hmm!
And as such, there's something I need to tell you.
What?
I am your father.
Really?
No.
Make sure to like, comment, subscribe, and, uh,
we'd love to get some comments about what Star Wars movie
you'd like to see.
I would like you to be my father.
No.